For centuries he’d been there and, as far as we knew, he’d slept. The Starman. The Starman in the moon. He hadn’t been found when man first visited, and it wasn’t until humans were onto their third colony on that ancient satellite that he was unearthed.

  “He’s from a starfaring nation,” the scientists had said.

  Starman Travelled the Universe While Mankind Hunted Termites with Gorillas, the newspapers screamed.

  People were fascinated by the discovery. The tabloids circled like hungry sharks, gobbling up every scrap of information they could find, and regurgitating it in a cloud of exaggeration.

  “What are we going to do with him?” the scientists wanted to know.

  “Well, you can’t dissect him.”

  “We had no intention of that. We just want to know what to do with him.”

  Scientists Banned from Dissecting Starman, the newspapers claimed.

  People were outraged, politicians deluged with email, social media flooded with calls for protests and petitions to save the starman from death. Investigations into the ‘evil’ of science were called, and perfectly legitimate and law-abiding science projects almost ground to a halt. Scientists and politicians alike hurried to reassure the world that the starman was in no danger of being harmed. The press, they claimed, were exaggerating.

  “The electronics on his pod are showing signs of activation.”

  Starman Capsule Could Explode, the newspapers screamed.

  Again, the politicians and scientists found themselves in alignment.

  “There is no danger. The science is light-years more advanced than our own, but we have ascertained that it is not a bomb.”

  Scientists Baffled by Starman Tech!

  The first communications signal was picked up by an amateur radio enthusiast.

  Mysterious Signal Discovered on Earth.

  Who Else Seeks the Starman?

  Aliens in our Midst!!

  And the pod replied, sending out a cryptic series of codes, avidly monitored by alien enthusiasts and conspiracy theorists the world over.

  Invasion Fleet Imminent!

  Government Calls for Calm as Starman Capsule Activates.

  In the end, no one came, but the starman’s pod opened anyway.

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  “What have you done?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” the scientists said.

  “We saved you,” the politicians told him.

  He gave them a look that anyone could interpret as a reference to idiots.

  “Why did you wake me?”

  “We didn’t mean to,” the scientists told him.

  “You would have woken anyway,” the politicians replied. “Isn’t it a good thing we found you?”

  “Where is your technology at?”

  Starman is Extra-Terrestrial Spy!

  “Why do you need to know?” the security advisors asked.

  “To prepare your defenses.”

  Starman Threatens Attack!

  “Why?”

  “Let me speak with your scientists.”

  Starman Shuns Military!

  In the end, the starman got his way. He was more than a little dismayed when he discovered how recently mankind had made it into space.

  “You will need allies,” he said.

  Starman Offers Aid from Outer Space!

  “And to muzzle your press.”

  Starman Seeks to Silence Free Speech.

  In the end, the scientists and politicians convinced him it was better to have the reporters on his side, to feed them titbits in order to keep them quiescent. There followed articles on the starman learning to swim, playing tennis and soccer, and teaching our engineers how to construct the engines they’d need for interstellar travel.

  “It was forbidden to teach you,” he said.

  Starman Shares Forbidden Secrets!

  “You were still fashioning clubs out of trees,” he explained.

  “You visited the planet?”

  “No, I only observed it through long-range scanners. Landing was planned, but…” his face took on a closed look.

  “But?”

  The starman would not be drawn. He directed their attention to other matters.

  Hydroponics came next, and ship-board gardens.

  Luxury Starliner in the Offing.

  The starman watched the ship grow in gantries on the lunar surface. He supervised the testing of its engines, downloading blueprints and test parameters from the databanks within the pod. He found wiring diagrams, and talked with the technicians who would design its life-support systems. And he sat long vigils in the comms centre, at a terminal dedicated to his use. Two years after waking, he received an answer.

  Unfortunately, the answer arrived at the same time as the trogarian ship made lunar orbit. The moon erupted in panic. The starman said something in the language only a few of us had ever studied, and refused to translate it. The communications officer aboard the trogarian ship, laughed.

  “Your Highness,” he said, “You had to know we’d find you, sooner or later.”

  “What happened to my people?” asked the starman, as a hush descended around him.

  Highness? The press had a field day.

  Starman Hides His Royal Status.

  Starman A Royal Fugitive.

  What are the Secrets of the Starman’s Past?

  The press began looking for titbits of their own. The comms tech was replaced by a commander sitting in front of the screen.

  “They didn’t know?”

  “I did not tell them.”

  “Did you warn them of the danger?”

  Starman Imperils Earth.

  “I told them there was danger.”

  “You did not warn them?”

  “It is not their war.”

  “It is, now, and they must choose a side.”

  “Do they know what you stand for?” the starman asked.

  “Do they know what you stand for?” the trogarian officer countered.

  “Both sides should present their case,” the politicians ordered, and were met with amusement from the trogarian starship, and discomfort from the starman in their midst. The look of surprise on his face was almost comical when the trogarian agreed.

  “I am Captain Argranivar Cogarian,” he said, addressing the assembled politicians, scientists, and communications personnel. “I am authorized to negotiate with the planetary leaders of your Earth for the surrender of His Royal Highness Barevarn Emdrinian.”

  Curious faces were turned toward the starman.

  “Highness?”

  He, at least had the grace to look abashed.

  “Let me explain in private,” he said, gesturing towards the screen.

  “Agreed,” said the trogarian captain. “I will send the files showing our perspective, and renew contact in eight-hours’ time.”

  “That will not be enough time for us to discuss your information,” protested Earth’s highest representative.