I returned home after meeting with Mae, confident we were on to something. I continued the day as though nothing had changed, tending to my garden and unchanging moonflower seedling.

  When my father came around, I quickly did my best to shove my emotions back into the prison I had learned to cage them in before, although it was a struggle. Conversations were brief, as I insisted that my time was best spent focusing on the possibility of fully mending Talen and getting him walking again. I didn’t hint at my knowledge of his potentially changed heart or my discussion with him earlier that morning. I knew he surely didn't want Talen telling me the truth if he hadn’t wanted me in that council meeting. For my brother’s sake, I would lie to my father and learn to control my rage. He seemed to believe me, moving on and requesting that I restore the beauty of the ceremonial garden before our Spring Festival.

  When I wasn’t being bothered, I pondered the meaning of the text my brother had given me to read. The words clung to my mind simirly to the hazy dream I couldn’t avoid, and I turned them over and over, hoping they would reveal something underneath. Maybe I was misunderstanding, but if this truly is attached to me, it felt like the divide had to be the answer. Talen had said that Finnean believed our answer was in the divide.

  After hours of digging, pnting, weeding, and picking, the sun had begun to set, and the sky glowed with a pink and gold hue. I gathered my tools, pced them in the small shed to the left of the house walls, and dragged myself back to my room. I’d missed dinner, not that I was hungry. The anger and fear that burned at the edge of my mind distracted my stomach from the pains of emptiness.

  I showered off the dirt from the day and slipped into an oversized tunic and soft shorts for bed. I’d never been one for nightgowns or silk pajamas, as they clung to my curves in ways I didn’t necessarily appreciate. I had never been rge, but I certainly wasn’t as thin and beautiful as Mae.

  Sitting at the writing desk in front of the rge window of my room, where Luma lies in her usual spot, I pulled out my notebook. I began jotting notes from the day in the garden: notes on my current pnts and their growth, the moonflower, and the different remedies I had mixed that day for future sessions with Talen. I wrote until the sun dipped low enough in the sky that light was scarce, and I had to light the oil mp on the desk.

  My pn was simple. When the house was asleep, I would return to Talen’s room and retrieve the riddle from him. I couldn’t risk anyone overhearing our conversation.

  When the darkness finally crept in, I set aside my notebook and cracked open the door to my room, and, sticking out an ear, I listened for any noises that might indicate someone was still up and about in the house. When I heard nothing, I slipped out the door and down the stairs to Talen’s room.

  “Are you awake?” I ask, quietly shuffling through his door and closing it behind me gently.

  “Yes.” He replies. His back is turned to me, lying on his left side with his legs curled to his chest like a child. He looks… broken. I shove the thought away.

  “Can I talk to you?” I sit down on the chair that’s been perpetually left at his bedside.

  He doesn’t reply, and although I should take it as a no, I carry on anyway.

  “The paper you gave me, with the riddle in it?”

  “Prophecy, supposedly.” He says mockingly, not turning or moving a muscle. Something seemed different.

  “Yeah, whatever,” If he was going to be an ass, the least he could do was roll over and look at me. “Can I… can I have it again?”

  There was a moment of hesitation, and then he slowly pulled himself over onto his back with what looked like considerably less struggle than the st few days. Without sitting up, he reached a hand behind his head and under his pillow and pulled out the same leatherbound notebook from before. He opened the book, took out the torn paper, and handed it to me.

  “Through the divide, begins its flight”. I repeat, staring at the paper. “Must be why Finnean thought the divide was the answer. Where did this come from?”

  “Don’t know. I just know that Finnean thought it was important. He thought it was for me.” He seemed disgruntled by my questions, shrugging his shoulders but never meeting my gaze.

  “And you’ve never shown Dad, or Mom, or me? How do we find out?”

  “Nope. Don’t know.”

  He’s quiet and not himself. I can tell he’s not interested in the company right now, so I fold the paper and reach for his hand.

  “I’m going to figure something out for you, Talen. We’ll get you walking and back to normal in no time. I’ll take care of it.”

  Talen looks at me, only for a moment, with a look I can’t quite make out. Anger, pain, disappointment, maybe? Then he pulled his hand away and rolled over, back to the position I found him in.

  Grasping my scrap of paper, I head back to my room for the night, tucking the paper into my notebook still lying on my desk. I spent the night repying the riddle over and over in my head.

  Buried deep where the shadows sleep,The Heart stirs past the walls thorned keep.Not stone nor bone, but breathless lightThrough the Divide begins its flight.

  I write the words in my notebook, circling the word heart repeatedly. Talen’s heart? I don’t know the connection, but there must be some connection. That man at the council meeting, whoever he was, had said Talen’s heart would be changed. Then, I looked to the end and circled one more portion: Through the divide.

  By the night's end, I had finally made my decision-- I would have to head toward it. Between those walls, held the only magic left on this nd. If there was any chance of finding something to help Talen, it was going to be there. I would check around the walls first, searching for pnts nearby that I might not have tried in Briarholt. If I couldn’t find anything on our side, I would have to find a way through the wastends of darkness we’re warned not to go anywhere near.

  I’d never been there myself, but from what I understood of the stories of travelers and ranger crews, it was a full day’s travel to the walls’ outskirts. I would need to pack food, a carrying bag for anything I might need to bring, and my dagger—maybe two daggers… or even three if I could find them.

  I shudder at the thought. This was not a safe pn, but a necessary one. I would be quick and stay hidden. There were things within the walls we didn’t understand, such as dark magic and creatures, probably not unlike the one that attacked Talen. But I had to try.

  “A necessary pn, to save Talen’s heart.”

  I repeat the words at a whisper a few more times, allowing myself to come to terms with the inevitable future. I drift into a fretful sleep filled with tossing, turning, and reliving Talen’s discovery in the woods. Each time I wake, I’m drenched in sweat that I wipe from my forehead the best I can, and then try to close my eyes for a while longer.

  The next morning, when I head down to the kitchen for breakfast, I grab a few extra slices of bread and a peach, sticking them in a small rucksack at my side when no one’s looking. It felt wrong, but I wouldn’t need much, just a few things to snack on until I could return home. I would sneak away a few things throughout the day, then leave just after dusk when no one would notice.

  I wanted to tell someone, to take someone with me, but I knew no one would agree to let me go. The stories of the dangers of the walls have been told for years now, the cracks and holes only growing as time progresses. With Talen’s attack, there was no telling what was out there for me to find. I ate my peach ravenously and tried not to think too much about it, for fear I would back out on my pn entirely.

  I checked on Talen after breakfast, grinding his tea leaves in silence with his back still to me. He still isn’t acting himself, more like someone who’s witnessed the death of a loved one. He’s damn near catatonic, and I leave him to himself once I’m done. I stop at his bedside before leaving, resting a hand on his arm for a moment to let him know silently that I’m still here, always here for him, and then I step out to meet Mae in the spring.

  When I arrive, Mae is already waiting for me, basking in a ray of sunlight that makes her strawberry-blonde hair and tanned skin almost glow. The air is warmer today, as winter clings to its st bit of life in the shadows away from the sun, and Mae turns to me and crosses her arms.

  “Well?” She asks, eyebrows raised in curiosity, “What’d you discover?”

  I couldn’t tell her the truth. She would say it was too dangerous for me, not that anything like that ever stopped her. I was too small, weak, and stuck with my nose to the dirt to look up and notice the danger ahead of me. She wasn’t wrong, I guess. I wasn’t the strongest of our age, but I had gained considerable strength digging in multiple gdes for the st few weeks with Corvin, who was the LAST person who could know about my trip since he would be the first to report me to Keeper Tirian himself. No, I would have to learn to put up those walls in my mind and cover my tracks if I were going to do anything to help Talen.

  “Not much,” I say, standing next to her and sticking my hands in my pockets to keep them occupied. “I couldn’t get the shred of paper from Talen.”

  I avoid eye contact, knowing that if she gets a look at me well enough, she’ll see straight through me.

  “But didn’t he give it to you willingly the first time?” She asks, frowning and narrowing her brows at me.

  Don’t panic, don’t panic. Breathe, take it easy.

  “He’s not himself right now. He’s quiet, moody, and doesn’t want to be bothered. He won’t even speak to me when I bring him herbs for his pain.” I say, shrugging my shoulders and gncing at the ground. That part wasn’t a lie, at least.

  “Oh, okay…” She looks away from me and pauses, as though she’s trying to analyze what I’ve said. “So, what now then?”

  “I’m not sure,” I kick a rock beside my foot into the water's edge, watching the ripples flow outward after it sinks below the surface. “I guess just keep trying what I’ve been trying. Hope a new mixture helps, hope we can find new pnts nearby.”

  Lying to her tasted bitter, and I wanted to spit out the taste of my words. But I knew I had to make it out of the gates of Briarholt tonight, and telling someone could ruin my chances at doing so. Her face droops in what almost looks like disappointment.

  “I have to get to the ceremony garden today, I told Dad I would take care of it before the Spring Thirial.” Also, not a lie. With Talen being the focus of much of the town for the st few weeks, we had entirely forgotten the ceremony of the Spring Thirial that we take part in to celebrate the departure of Winter. I had let the flowers in the garden wilt and droop, a sad representation of my brother’s current state.

  “I’ll go with you and help, my ride was cancelled today anyway, and I could use some company. Adric can come too.” She hopped up, brushing the dirt and moss from her backside and dark pants and smiling at me. I smiled back, hoping the worry didn’t come across my face. I couldn’t tell her no, I didn’t have a good enough excuse, and I couldn’t come up with anything fast enough. I’d have to endure this and hope I could keep my walls up and continue with my pn tonight.

  “Sure, I’d love help. Corvin will be there too, Guardians forbid, but the more help, the faster it goes.” I roll my eyes and turn to begin walking out of the Spring, keeping my hands tucked neatly in my pockets. Mae follows, and I pray internally that she doesn’t question me much more.

  “So, how are things with him anyway?” She asks, catching up to me and nudging my upper arm with her elbow.

  I shoot her a knowing gre, and then return my eyes to our path and reply with a snap.

  “I’d really rather not. Especially in front of him.” I’m still angry with him for not telling me everything, and I never bothered asking how long he’s known. I’ll ask eventually, but today is not the day. Questioning him right now would just put me in a position to lose control, and could get me caught before I can leave tonight.

  “Okay, but you know he’s going to say something before I do anyway.” She says, sighing at me. “You’re being weird today.” She stops walking and puts her hand in front of my chest to stop me.

  I look at her, trying to build those invisible walls in my mind. Mae didn’t ask me questions like that unless she already knew the answer.

  Breathe, rex, and get through this without tipping her off.

  “Nothing, Mae. I’m just not myself. I’m worried about Talen.” Again, another half-truth. I smile a broken, weak smile, and lightly touch her arm to let her know I appreciate her. Then we continue out of the wooded trail and back into town. I’m not convinced she believes me, but that would have to be the answer she accepts for now.

  As we walk, I shove away the awful thought that maybe, if I were unlucky enough, this would be the st time I walk the pathway of the Spring with my best friend.