My decision is final. Whatever it takes, I won’t fly home. Even if this group does everything in its power, giving in is out of the question.

  The turmoil inside me has subsided, and although there is still a heaviness in my heart, I can breathe a little more freely than before. Perhaps it’s because I spoke with Natural and no longer feel alone in this world. Knowing that he too is stranded and now looking for a new path is encouraging. Sometimes you need these detours.

  A glance out of the window reveals darkness. Evening has been upon us for two or three hours now, and only a few clouds are still visible. Above them, up here, so far away from the ground of Hoenn, freedom is almost limitless. It vaguely reminds me of when I sneaked aboard the Explorers and knew I was finally going to begin my journey – far away from all the rules that had been imposed on me before.

  Besides, I can’t say that the Volt Tacklers are terrible hosts. They gave me a room where I can rest. Here and there are a few medicines behind transparent glass doors of some cupboards and a Chansey stuffed doll on the bed, but apart from that, you could almost believe that no one lives in this room. The truth is, however, that this chamber belongs to the doctor of this group. I think her name is Mollie.

  Carefully, I run my hands over the soft bed sheet. Simultaneously, I wonder what the others are doing right now. I shouldn’t waste any thoughts on them, but I spent quite a while with Zir and Conia and Amethio too. People who previously seemed like friends cannot simply be banished from my mind. That’s something I’ll have to accept – even if I’ll stop asking myself these questions after today. It’s better not to dwell on it, and probably wiser to bury this event in one of the many boxes in the back of my mind. That way, I can devote myself to more important things. My escape, for example.

  However, I don’t get around to making a plan before there is a sudden knock at the door. Immediately afterwards, the entrance opens and Liko pushes her way inside. With a tray in her hand, on which there is a plate and a salad bowl, she ventures two steps in my direction. The smile on her lips twitches uncertainly.

  “I brought you something to eat,” she begins. “Murdock and the others were sure you might not want to eat with us after everything that happened today.” She sets the food on the bedside table. Curry. “Are you feeling better?”

  She’s probably referring to my escape from the room earlier, after everything I’ve learnt. “A little.”

  For a moment, we let the silence dominate. She clenches her hands into fists in her lap, and I’m not sure what to do with her. I remember seeing her in the Galar Mines back then and thinking that we were similar. But she’s younger than me, and her goals are probably completely different from mine. She is living an adventure, while I am trying to conquer it.

  “I never thought I would ever end up on the Brave Asagi,” Liko finally breaks the silence.

  Her words come out of nowhere, but she seems to want this conversation to dispel the tension. The same peculiarity I picked up on in Alola towards Amethio.

  “The Explorers tried to get hold of my pendant back then... Terapagos was sleeping in it ... and when I ran away, Friede saved me with his Charizard.” She lowers her gaze. “Back then, I never thought I would ever go on an adventure like this, but it happened. My parents were thrilled.” She looks at me. “I can’t imagine what it must be like not to have any freedom.”

  She is more than obviously alluding to the fact that my father is doing everything he can to bring me back home. I don’t know what this group has been talking about, but they probably know that there is little agreement between him and me.

  It can’t be wrong to open up to her a little. If I close my eyes and tell myself I’m not a prisoner, this could be a conversation I would normally have with Lillie.

  “My father thinks he’s doing me a favour by keeping me away from Pokémon and their world.” The tension inside me eases, so I open my eyes again and look at Liko. “He worries too much that something might happen to me.”

  She nods as if she understands what I’m talking about. But I’m certain she has no clue where I’m coming from. After all, she has parents who let her go with healthy love. I cannot say the same.

  Perhaps it would be different if my mother were still here. All this only started when we had to flee, as far as I could gather from Alder’s report. It’s surprisingly difficult not to wonder whether my life would have been very different if all the mess with Plasma hadn’t happened. Then I might never have met Amethio, would have gone to a trainer school at some point and then made a career as a girl who grew up like everyone else. Probably with the suffering of the Pokémon.

  Besides, I would never have met Natural and would have missed out on so many wonderful things. As fascinating as the thought of what might have been is, I would never want to trade my present for an uncertain alternative.

  I’ve come too far for that.

  “I’m sure your father just needs a push to talk...” Liko begins. “At least I’ve needed one many times on this journey. Maybe he feels the same way.”

  “I’ve given him countless chances,” I reply. “But unlike you, he’s stubborn. That’s why I have to find my own answers.”

  Liko lowers her head. It’s probably hard for her to understand that communication doesn’t always work. Sometimes all that’s left is time to think and agree to disagree until one of the two is ready to listen. In my case, I would like to hear him out, but my father doesn’t want to talk.

  “Why ... are you with the Explorers?” Liko finally asks, and I think that’s the real reason she came to me. She also has questions and ideas about what drives the people around her. I can’t blame her for her curiosity, because if I’m honest, I wouldn’t act any differently.

  On top, everyone here is angry at the Explorers, and thanks to Terapagos, I can understand why. But when I think back on all the moments with my group, there is a lot of good that I don’t want to demonise. There are memories that are dear to my heart.

  “When I wanted to leave Alola ... that’s when I met Amethio. The black Rayquaza had flown over one island, and I had seen it. He looked like an adventurer, and I ... I was on the run.” A smile creeps onto my lips. “I sneaked aboard their airship at night and was discovered by Conia. At that time, I was still travelling with another girl.”

  Lillie. In these moments, I miss her. Her lively, yet shy and incredibly courageous individuality – I wish I could talk to her here and now.

  “I offered to come with them. Because I can communicate with legendary Pokémon, I thought I would be a great help. And in the end, they took me in.” For a moment, I remember the day when Gibeon saw great things in me, while Lillie had no choice but to go her own way. “They gave me the choice of whether I wanted to travel alone or stay with Amethio, and ... it wasn’t always pleasant with him, but we became a team. At least ... it felt that way.”

  Back then, he pointed out to me that everyone has value, that we can all achieve something. He treated me as part of his team and looked out for me. Sometimes he came to my rescue because I’m an idiot and don’t always think things through.

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  There was Halloween. His birthday. Our closeness when he was sick. The way we looked at each other. Thousands of things I misinterpreted. Little things that made me feel like he might like me more than I expected. Instead, there was nothing. And everything we went through together started with me. Until we got to Galar, and he and his group lied to me. For no apparent reason.

  I don’t know if it’s because they think I would have left them if I had known better. But what I do know is that they made a fool of me. They offered me friendship and connection, honesty and refuge. But they don’t give that honesty back, and I can’t find a connection either. I’m not as involved in the missions as Zir and Conia. I’m just there. Like splashing water that you turn to when you’re annoyed and think about what you can do with it. It shouldn’t bother me, as I noticed it before. Besides, I was weaker when all this started. Amethio couldn’t rely on me.

  A groan escapes my lips. “Feels like my head is spinning. A bit like I’m overthinking the wrong things and not seeing the obvious solution.”

  “Maybe ... you should talk to them,” Liko suggests. She can’t stop clinging to the hope of a good communicative solution. If it doesn’t work out with my father, maybe it will work with Amethio and the others – a far too simple thought I can’t get much out of. “Not now ... but if you get the chance, maybe you should talk about what happened. About the lie and about the true goals of the Explorers.”

  “If I ever manage to face Amethio again...” A silent laugh escapes me. I don’t want to dismiss Liko’s suggestion completely, but I also know that it’s not as easy as it sounds. “I shouldn’t have told him I wanted to be by his side...”

  The silence that follows my words makes me take a few deep breaths before I look at Liko, whose round eyes and red cheeks remind me of Lillie. It’s like the day I was with her and Conia in the Malie Garden.

  “What is it?” Unsure, I raise my eyebrows.

  “Y-You ... and Amethio? Are you ... a couple?”

  That would have been the ideal outcome. Unfortunately, my knowledge of human nature is about as good as Natural’s. So I shake my head. “He rejected me. Apparently, I fell in love with someone whose feelings for me could fit into a pipette.”

  The things I said to Natural are true. I’m good at convincing myself of things until I believe them. Not loving Amethio anymore is a piece of cake. Still, it hurts. My heart seems to tighten, and part of me wants to lie down in bed and let the world pass me by. Just like I did in my room at the Devon Corporation. That way, I could try to forget – quietly and secretly. Everything that’s happening now is just a sign that I can’t get Amethio out of my head. But it’s important that I do.

  Maybe I just need someone to talk to. Someone like Lillie, but she has enough on her plate. She hardly ever gets in touch with me or Conia anymore. Her research must be going up and down. The worst part is that I can understand her. After all, she’s trying to get her mother’s life back on track – all by herself, while her older brother dodges his responsibilities. Only Guzma is there, and even though, according to her messages, he is trying very hard to help where he can, he lacks the knowledge to really make a difference. All he can do is to be there for her.

  I sigh. Maybe that’s exactly what Lillie needs. Someone who is there to hold her when everything falls apart. Damn it, I would also appreciate having a Guzma here right now so I could cry on his shoulder. The reality is, though, that all the friendships I’ve been able to form are not suitable for moments like these. I don’t even know if I want to call Zir and Conia friends anymore. Then there’s Natural, who is preoccupied with his own demons. Lillie is out of reach, as is Juniper.

  A long breath escapes my throat. “And yet I definitely don’t want to go home.”

  Home would be the safest place right now. I would give up my freedom, but a little solitude would take the burden off my shoulders, and I would have time to think without worrying about other things. Then I wouldn’t have to wonder why no one told me the entire story. I wouldn’t have to prepare for the professor exam or wander through Hoenn to put some activists in their place.

  I know I shouldn’t think that way. It’s overly dramatic. It’s almost as if my teenage brain wants to dance around and set everything on fire because it’s easier to complain about one bad thing than to see all the good ones. Or maybe I’m just crazy, and my behaviour is so different from other teenagers that any adult would look down on me with concern if they saw me here and now. I can’t even judge that because I don’t know any other teenagers. Amethio is twenty now. He made the leap. And he was probably much more normal than I am, even before that.

  “Oh, to be young again...”

  Diana’s slightly scratchy voice reaches me, and when I look up, I see her leaning in the doorway. She is holding two cups, one of which she hands to me. Milk coffee. She offers the other to Liko, but she declines. Shortly afterwards, Diana grabs a chair and sits down in front of the bed, the backrest against her chest.

  “I can imagine that you have a lot on your mind right now,” she continues. “Love is sometimes just as confusing as overprotective parents and long journeys to unknown regions.” A smile plays around her lips before she takes a sip from her cup. “These are moments when you learn and grow.”

  I grimace reluctantly. “How much did you hear?”

  “Everything. I actually wanted to bring you this cup a while ago, but Liko was here before me, so I thought I’d give you some time.” She laughs. “Now the milk coffee is cold.”

  I take a sip anyway, and although it’s a little too bitter for my taste, it feels good on my tongue. Perhaps because, strangely enough, everything fits together. The overly bitter drink, two people who are actually strangers to me, and a situation from which I am trying to escape, as so often, without having a plan. Even when Diana flicks my forehead and Liko lets out a surprised sound, I can’t say it’s inappropriate. Instead, I listen as this woman begins to criticise my decisions.

  “I can understand that some results are disappointing, but instead of giving up, there are times when you have to push through.” She tilts her head. “Everyone experiences situations like this, and giving up is the stupidest thing you can do. If we take your love for this boy out of the picture, this Amethio seems to be an honest, if stubborn, boy.”

  “He’s a liar,” I reply in the same breath. “He made you look like criminals and led me to believe that the Explorers wanted to collect Terapagos to protect it. No one ever thought it necessary to tell me more. I’ve been there for almost a year, and ... I thought we were all a functional team, and...”

  “Just because they kept something from you doesn’t mean the rest was a lie.” Diana waves her hand dismissively. “Sometimes people lie for a reason. Sometimes they hide information because they’re trying to protect the other person. Now and then, they even believe their own little white lies. The thing is ... you’ve probably lied before and hurt someone too. Before you judge, you should look behind the facade and find out the reason behind the circumstances. That can be very helpful in closing a chapter.”

  She’s probably right. All I can see in these moments are all the people I would like to have by my side, but none of them are within reach. Everything I desire is in a different place, and I don’t know where to go next. Which path is the right one? Was my original idea okay, or do I need to approach things differently?

  “You should try to get back to them,” Diana explains. “Because what do you have to do to get answers?”

  An amused chuckle buzzes in my throat as I hang my head. “You need to ask the people who raised those questions.”

  “You may have to insist on an answer. But that’s just part of it. You mustn’t let things like that intimidate you.”

  “And what if you have lots of questions that can’t all be answered by the same person?” Immediately, my mind clings to my father. “Or what if the person refuses to talk to you, no matter how much you insist?”

  As if it were no problem, Diana shrugs her shoulders. “Very few people can keep a secret to themselves. Most of the time, they’ve shared it with someone else. That means if you can’t get it out of one person, you snoop around and squeeze it out of another.” She triumphantly clenches her hand into a fist, prompting Liko to exclaim a disapproving, “Grandma!” But Diana is unstoppable. “Believe me, Domino, if you’re creative enough, you’ll get all the answers you’re looking for. Of course, I’m not encouraging violence, but hanging someone over a campfire usually works.”

  Her explanation is so detached that it makes me laugh. I don’t know why, but her advice sounds like something you’d expect from a mother who knows that society sometimes needs a push. Judging by the fact she’s related to Liko, she’s already raised a child, and I’m sure the result is someone who will go through walls if necessary.

  Ultimately, everything she says is correct. And it connects with what Amethio advised me some time ago. One step at a time. Don’t let anything throw you off course. First, I’ll return to the Explorers and then confront Amethio. Although I also know that, regardless of his response, I will request a transfer to Spinel. After the embarrassing moment at the market, it’s better if I can get some distance from everyone. Besides, Spinel’s area of responsibility fits my future plans much better. With his help, I might even find the time to dig deeper into my past.

  “And until you find a way to escape,” Diana interrupts my thoughts without further ado, “how about we continue our battle when we get the chance? I haven’t had this much fun in a long time, and I’m sure your Zoroark would also be interested in the outcome.” She pats me on the shoulder. “I won’t make it easy for you.”