Lum, the Eevee

  The darkness here isn’t unfamiliar. It accompanies me day in and day out. Sometimes I listen to the outside world, to all the moments when Domino throws herself into a fight and decides in favour of someone else. Over and over again, as if I weren’t an option. Not for her.

  Grumbling, I bury my nose deeper in my bushy tail. It’s obvious that she doesn’t want me because I’m too weak. She assumes that I can’t win a fight because I’m small and, in her eyes, probably have nothing to offer. But the truth is I am strong. Stronger than everyone else! Something she would see if she came to me more often.

  Anyway, how am I supposed to grow if she only lets me out to eat, sleep at night and go for walks? You’d think she didn’t understand what it means to be a trainer. At least when it comes to me. The other three are called upon from time to time. They are often summoned to help. Even Mimikyu is slowly returning to the world of battle after suffering so much in Alola.

  Clenching my eyes shut, I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to sit in this damn ball and rack my brains over the fact that I’m not good enough for Domino. I can’t even take Coro’s place. But we’re not that different, are we?

  Just as I’m about to lift my head to bang it against one of the walls of this ball, warmth penetrates inside. Fingers close around my capsule, and although I shouldn’t be happy about it, my heart leaps. It’s not evening yet, and we’ve only just eaten.

  My ears prick up, listening to the outside world and catching a few words here and there that I can’t make sense of. This Diana, an old woman with a lot of experience, is explaining something about raising Pokémon to Domino. Something about “responding to each other” and “finding a middle ground”. Whatever my role in all this may be, she is probably trying to teach this girl that she has made a really good catch with me – even if I won’t be around forever.

  The next moment, the pull from outside clings to my body. The capsule opens, and all the energy that shapes and compresses me, that gives me a home here, shatters. My body is dragged towards the humans until my form regains its solidity and I feel the cold wooden floor beneath my paws. I don’t even have to blink to accept and realise the change.

  Immediately, I glance over my shoulder at Domino. There are no opponents in front of us, only Diana and her partner, which also means that she is probably up to something. But she doesn’t look at me. It’s a bit as if she doesn’t want to see me because I don’t exist in her calculations – or because she respects me and my abilities.

  The thought is nice.

  But I’m not stupid enough to believe it. I can be honest enough with myself to know that she only let me out because she was asked to. Domino doesn’t want to work with me. At least not in battle.

  It’s a mystery to me why.

  “So you’re Lum...” The Arcanine next to the pink woman gracefully tilts its head. Probably so it can look down on me even more, because it’s much bigger than me. Its arrogance is boundless. “I hope we can become friends in battle. Your trainer has a great team, from what I could see. I’m sure you must be just as good.”

  “Better,” I reply, my snout raised. “I can easily beat every member of the team.”

  “So you’re Domino’s ace in the pack?” It tilts its head. “That makes you special.”

  Special. The expression makes my paws sweat. I want to be special; I want to prove to everyone how outstanding my abilities are so that Conia, above all, notices that I am made for her. But the longer I let this “special” linger on my tongue, the more bitter the taste becomes. It’s almost like when I argued with Coro; when I threw things at him, that felt right in those moments.

  When I think back on it, questions arise that I would like to shake off immediately. I am honest with myself. Always.

  Yet this honesty weighs heavily on my back, and my paws seem completely immobile, anchored to the ground. Something is wrong with me. There is this thing that prevents me from just doing what I always do.

  And to make matters worse, it gets tougher when this old bag kneels down next to me and looks at me as if I am the problem.

  “I hear you’re quite a wild one.” She gives me a shrivelled smile. One of those I would normally respond to with a snort, but I can’t move anything. “Would you let me watch you fight? Arcanine here is also a big fan of good feuds.”

  I automatically stare her down as if she’s my greatest enemy, and she seems to take it as consent for a fight. But I still can’t move my paws, and I’m not even sure if it’s wise to put up a heroic battle here. After all, the Volt Tacklers are our enemies, if I go by Domino.

  Still, I can’t get out of this situation. This girl, who usually drags me around with her, simply accepts the idea of a fight, and Diana has already taken a few steps back to give me and Arcanine the space we need. Space that I don’t require, that I don’t want, and that they are nevertheless forcing upon me. All I can do is grit my teeth and lay my ears back. If they’re so desperate to see Arcanine turn tail and run, then they’ll get what they want. This fight will show them who’s boss.

  “Flamethrower!” Diana gives the first command, and I can already see my opponent’s chest swelling up to give me hell. A primitive attack that I can easily anticipate. But Domino has a different plan.

  “Lum, swift! Blind it!”

  Whatever she’s thinking, I don’t see the point in blinding my opponent when I can simply anticipate this. So I decide to ignore her command.

  Instead of a swift, I rush towards Arcanine. In a flash, I close the distance, ready to ram it with my body and then perhaps follow up with a graceful double kick. After that, I could use tackle, and the fight is won. The strategy for victory is simple, and although my body feels heavy as lead, the excitement of triumph spurs me on.

  But something is wrong.

  Before I can even lay paw on my opponent, fire bursts from its mouth. In the next breath, it burns in my lungs. My body breaks through a pillar of fire, my quick attack slows down, and when I hit Arcanine, there is hardly enough power left to cause serious damage. All I can do is jump back quickly, a moment to gain distance and gather new momentum.

  However, Arcanine has no intention of waiting motionless until I am far enough away. Instead, it chases after me, much faster than I could ever move. My paws don’t even come close to the ground when it rams into me. The impact seems to bend my ribs inwards, squeezing the air out of my throat and bringing tears to my eyes.

  The next moment, I hit the ground backwards.

  The throbbing in my muscles seems to extend to the tips of my fur, and it takes me a strange amount of effort to get back on my paws. But I have to pull myself together. After all, I have to win this fight. It can’t be that hard to beat an oversized opponent.

  So I shake myself before gathering my energy. A tingling sensation spreads under my skin, and as I imagine the attack I want to bring to life, it immediately bursts forth from me in the form of stars. Bright, pointed lights chase towards Arcanine, scattered so widely that it cannot dodge them. And they hit!

  This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  A few of them pierce its fur and burst. The others narrowly miss, probably leaving scratches that I can’t see.

  It’s a complete success, and yet... why doesn’t my opponent even flinch? Indecisive, I dare to glance at Domino, but she has her head tilted back and seems to be counting the clouds. She’s not interested in my fight. She probably doesn’t even care that I’m doing so well. She has literally turned away from me just because I’m fighting this battle my way.

  That’s childish. She obviously can’t handle the fact that I had a better idea for this fight than she. She should be supporting me so I can quickly become strong and wonderful and so that my own path is within reach...

  My train of thought breaks off.

  “You really think you’re going to evolve when you can’t even get it together to follow orders and take over because you think you’re the king of the world?”

  It’s strange. I don’t even understand why I have to think about this right now.

  “Do you really think anyone out there will be interested in you if you behave so despicably? People like Pokémon who stand behind their trainers.”

  Is that why she won’t look at me? Because she sensed that I’m not behind her? All because I fight better when I can make the decisions? That sounds absurd and not very mature, but it somehow fits with what Coro said back then when we got into an argument.

  “We care about Domino and her safety.”

  I don’t. I don’t care about her fate, and I don’t care about her wishes either. I care most about myself. Then again, it’s strange to be ignored.

  The last time she chose me, in a moment when she truly trusted me, I had to face a Poochyena. An opponent I mastered with flying colours, and probably a battle in which I listened to her with at least one ear. Sure, we weren’t an outstanding team, but I think she was happy with it. Satisfied that the gap between us hadn’t grown any wider. Not as big as it is now, when there is no connection between us anymore. And that’s even though I’ve started to get closer to her. Outside of battle, I try hard because Coro told me to make an effort. So why does it feel like Domino and I are strangers here?

  Is it because of me?

  I stick out my tongue laboriously. It’s far too hot to worry about such things. The sun, which hardly gives off any heat at this time of year, is literally burning down on my fur. An artificial change that I only understand when I set my sights on Arcanine. Its fur moves almost imperceptibly, and the heat of its body seems to make the sun seem more intense than before. It’s probably absorbing the energy it takes from the light. That also means that its fire attacks will hit me even harder if I’m not careful. I can’t waste any more thoughts on Domino here. Not when my survival depends on not going up in flames.

  So I focus on the fight again. If I want to win, I have to be faster than Arcanine. That’s the only reason I rush towards it again. With my quick attack, I close the distance in a few seconds, and before I try to ram it, I jump off the ground and launch a double kick.

  But my paws don’t reach Arcanine. Before I hit it, it takes a step back, and Diana’s voice reaches my ears. She has been giving her partner orders the whole time. These two are in perfect harmony, unlike Domino and me. And when Arcanine raises its heavy paw, it seems to become even clearer. Its posture, the mockery that leaves its snout. “You’re weak. Domino’s partners are real opponents. You’re not.”

  Immediately afterwards, its paw crashes against my head, throwing my upper body to the side and robbing me of all support. I shoot out of the air and land at Domino’s feet, hitting the ground without being able to hold back a painful yelp. I can hear it crack. Nothing is broken yet, but I won’t be able to take much more.

  With difficulty, I push myself up on my front paws, but the pain in my hind legs prevents me from standing up. It’s annoying, but only a temporary condition that will resolve itself at any moment.

  Meanwhile, Arcanine just stands there and looks at me, while Domino makes no move to give me any healing powder or liquid. She still doesn’t look at me, her lips pressed together and her shoulders hunched. With her eyes tightly shut, her whole figure looks pitiful. A bit like she’s trying not to cry.

  “She won’t heal you,” my opponent interjects. “That’s exactly what you want, isn’t it? To fight and be free. You want to act the way you please. And here, you can.”

  My eyes widen. I am a great fighter. And if Domino ends up healing me, it’s because I deserve it.

  “I think that’s the problem with Pokémon from an egg, who have no idea what the world out here is really like from the start.” The Fire-type Pokémon gently tilts its head. “Out there, we fight each other for survival. Eat or be eaten. And if you’re hurt, no one will come to heal you. Unless a trainer comes along and decides to lend you a hand. You learn to be grateful. And you learn to stand up for each other. Because if you’re all alone out there, you’ll always be weak. There will always be someone stronger than you. With a trainer, it may not be any different, but together you can survive.”

  My snout opens, but I don’t know what to say in reply. Usually, it’s terribly easy to counter stupid arguments like these. But is it really so nonsensical? If I believe Arcanine, then that explains why the others would do anything to keep Domino safe.

  I don’t know much about how they all got together. Ying has been with Domino forever, and I also know that Coro decided of his own free will to help her so he could go on a journey. He probably didn’t really like the freedom. Raya seems to not care at all whether anyone helps her or not, as long as she can fight. Preferably with someone else. She prefers to do so with Domino. And Mirra adores her trainer more than anything. I didn’t understand much of what she occasionally said, but it seems to be related to love.

  The same feeling I have for Conia. She was the first person I saw when I hatched. The first person who smiled at me when I broke through the shell. She was there.

  And she rejected me.

  Instead, Domino gave me a place by her side. She’s okay with taking me with her, even though she knows I won’t stay. She knows that our time together is temporary. And she never complains. Instead, she tries to make the most of this time with me. She tries hard to please me, even though she could have cast me out.

  Once again, my gaze wanders up to her, and she still doesn’t look at me. Because I disappoint her. Because she knows she can’t do anything for me here if I don’t listen.

  I’m probably not a good fighter. And maybe I’m too proud to admit it.

  If Domino can’t like me this way, if she doesn’t want to send me into battle because she knows I’ll fail, what will happen with Conia? How can I show someone else that they can rely on me if I keep failing? A victory against Poochyena doesn’t make up for the defeat against Umbreon. And it doesn’t change the fact that I’m losing to Arcanine.

  With my last ounce of strength, I pull myself together and push back onto my paws. I have to give more than that; I have to boost people’s confidence in me. And if I have to work with Domino to do that, then I’ll accept it. It doesn’t change my goals. But it will help me become stronger.

  The thought makes my fur fluff up.

  I want her to look at me, to tell me what to do when I can’t manage on my own. If I have to admit that I’m not strong enough, then Domino should recognise it and intervene.

  With a small battle cry, I lunge at Arcanine. My hind legs ache, burn, and throb wildly. But I don’t want to give up. I don’t want it to end here and for this gap to get even bigger.

  It takes all the strength I have to jump off the ground and swing my body far over Arcanine. From up here, I can do anything. I can–

  “Lum!”

  My ears immediately twitch in Domino’s direction. Then my eyes follow. It’s all automatic, as if every fibre in my body had been waiting for this. Just in time, I see her throw a small container in my direction, so I snap at it. The healing begins in that very second.

  “Double kick!”

  She sees me. Her violet eyes notice me, and her clenched fists, her drawn-in shoulders, and the wetness in her gaze – all of that wants to bridge this gap at least as much as I do. If she wants a double kick, she’ll get one!

  Arcanine looks up at me as I swing my hind legs and aim for its snout. However, it dodges before I can hit it and puffs out its chest. A flamethrower will follow, and I don’t know how to get out of here. But Domino doesn’t let up. Her words rain down on me, giving me clues and commands that somehow make everything strangely easy.

  With a quick attack, I manage to narrowly escape the flames. The heat only curls the hair on my tail. Otherwise, my body rushes downwards, between Arcanine’s legs. And beneath it, Domino urges me to see my opponent as a healing potion. She wants me to use my teeth. She wants me to bite. So I sink my fangs into my opponent’s leg. Immediately, Arcanine lets out a yelp, and it sounds like music to my ears. I’m doing damage. My attack is having an effect. It’s incredible, like in a dream. Has it always been this easy?

  When Arcanine lashes out with its hind leg, my bite loosens. I am thrown a few steps in Diana’s direction, but that is nothing I cannot easily handle. Domino wants me to keep going, to bite again, and my body shoots forward, reaching my opponent before it can turn around. In the blink of an eye, my teeth sink into its shoulder, and this time I don’t let it shake me off.

  Only when Arcanine heats up its body do I have to let go. With a powerful kick to its chest, I catapult myself back to Domino to take up my position in front of her. It feels like I really have a chance, like I could win this.

  But contrary to my expectations, it doesn’t continue. Diana raises her hand and announces that our training is over. Just like that. And I’ve only just warmed up.

  It’s impossible not to feel a little disappointed. But Domino is right there, and when she strokes my head, looks at me and gives me a tired smile, it doesn’t feel so wrong to work with her anymore. At least for the moment, I can try to appreciate her. Because we are a team. A team that has to stick together as long as it exists.