The Black House, Master Bedroom

  Later that night, after what had started as a perfectly normal peaceful day and somehow mutated into a full-blown meeting marathon thanks to the Celeste–Elvandar alliance declaration, Solo finally reclaimed the right to lie down and cease existing for a few hours.

  He entered the master bedroom.

  The lights were dim. The air was quiet. The silence felt earned.

  “Honey, I’m home,” Solo said, already peeling off his suit jacket.

  “Ugh… today turned into a disaster,” he muttered, loosening his tie, then his shirt. “A complete disaster.”

  He collapsed onto the bed face-first, landing like a fallen log.

  “The Celeste and the elves are allying,” he groaned into the mattress. “Can you believe that? The judgmental elves! And the judgmental humans! Together? Judging what?!”

  Silence.

  Solo lifted his head slightly.

  “Lilith, honey?” He sat up and looked around. “Are you in the bathroom?”

  He raised his voice. “Are you still feeling sick?”

  For a moment, nothing happened.

  Then—

  The bathroom door opened.

  Slowly.

  Dramatically.

  A silhouette appeared. A woman’s silhouette.

  A very deliberate silhouette.

  Lilith stepped out.

  She stood in the doorway in a confident, dangerous pose, wearing lingerie that clearly violated the parental guidance rule.

  “Yes,” she said, her voice low, slow, and dangerously smooth,

  “I’m still sick.”

  Solo blinked.

  “Sick of waiting,” Lilith continued, her eyes glowing faintly,

  “for a naughty orc… who made me wait… all… night… long…”

  She began walking toward the bed.

  Slowly.

  Sensually.

  Unnecessarily slowly.

  Solo swallowed.

  When she reached the bed, she didn’t sit beside him.

  No.

  She deliberately landed on the farthest side, then turned and began crawling toward him like a cat stalking prey. A very smug, very confident cat.

  “Honey… wow…” Solo muttered, his brain visibly lagging behind the situation. “What’s the occasion?”

  “Occasion?” Lilith said, pushing a hand against his chest.

  Not gently.

  Not weakly.

  Just enough force to remind him she was max-level demon and he was… not.

  “Ooff!” Solo was pressed back onto the mattress.

  “Like the little piggies occasion?” Lilith whispered, climbing over him.

  Her fingers touched his chest.

  “This little piggy had an occasion to go to market…”

  Her fingers walked downward.

  Very deliberately.

  “And this little piggy went home…”

  The fingers kept walking.

  “This little piggy had a roast beef…”

  Dangerously low now.

  “And this little piggy went—”

  Solo gulped.

  “Wee, wee, wee, all the way home.”

  The piggy reached their destination.

  Solo’s soul briefly left his body and returned because of professionalism.

  “U-uh, honey,” he said quickly, sweating. “I really appreciate this but… can we do this tomorrow?”

  Lilith froze.

  “I have a super early meeting with our ambassador,” Solo rushed on. “She was just kicked out from Elvandar and—”

  Then—

  “WHAT?!” Lilith snapped, “BAD PIGGY!”

  “GYAAAH—DON’T SQUEEZE!” Solo screamed, suddenly discovering new octaves in his voice.

  “You’re refusing me?!” Lilith roared. “WHY?!”

  “Honey, I’m spent!”

  “Spent?” Her voice dropped into something cold and lethal. “Did you spend your ammo somewhere else?”

  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

  Dark energy began leaking from her body.

  “Wait a minute…” Lilith’s eyes narrowed. “That ambassador—she’s a hot siren babe, isn’t she?”

  The air shook as her demon queen aura flared.

  “Is that why you want to sleep early?! So you can meet her?!”

  “H-honey?! What’s wrong with you?!”

  “What’s wrong with me?!” Lilith snapped, about to transform—

  Then suddenly froze.

  Her transformation halted mid-way.

  “…Wait.”

  Her voice cracked.

  “Is that it?” she whispered. “The problem is… me?”

  The aura faded. The glow dimmed.

  “Is it because she’s younger than me…?” Lilith’s eyes trembled. “Is it because I’m ancient… and old… sob…”

  Her voice broke.

  “That you don’t desire me anymore…? Your own wife…?”

  Then—

  “HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—”

  Lilith burst into loud, uncontrollable crying.

  The seductive demon queen was gone.

  In her place sat a sobbing, broken little demon girl.

  “H-honey?!” Solo panicked, sitting up and trying to console her. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you?! You’ve been weird these past few days!”

  “I! DON’T! KNOW!” she wailed. “HUAAAAAAAAA!”

  ---

  Bashington DC, CDC

  The next day, Solo and Lilith went to see Lich for a medical check-up.

  Lilith looked like a total mess.

  Her hair was a mess.

  Her eyes were blank.

  Her expression carried the exhaustion of someone who had cried, screamed, and emotionally combusted for eight hours straight. Literally.

  She wore a hospital gown and sat on a hospital bed while two female skeleton nurses checked her blood pressure with dead calm proffesionalism.

  In the next room, Solo and Lich observed her through reinforced one-way glass.

  Apparently, Lilith was being examined in CDC special lab. A lab that was used to contain a raging demon case.

  Lich looked at her, then at the paper in his hand, then back at her again.

  “Why come to me?” he asked. “Why not just go to a hospital?”

  Solo didn’t hesitate.

  “Never mention this to Lilith, but you’re the only medical facility with a fully reinforced cage—I mean, patient room!” He quickly corrected himself.

  Lich’s empty eye sockets stared at him.

  “…Right.”

  The skeleton scratched his bony head with the pen, scanning Lilith test results.

  “Hm. All her vitals are normal.”

  Solo frowned. “But she’s not herself these days. I’m worry she’s been infected with some kind of mutating goddess virus or something.”

  Lich sighed.

  “Well, if that’s the case, I’m going to need more tests,” he said calmly. “She’ll need to stay here for a few days.”

  Solo nodded immediately.

  “Well… it’s for the best,” he said. “I can’t risk my wife.”

  Solo stepped closer to the microphone beside the one-way glass.

  “Lilith, honey?” he said.

  His voice came through the room comm, snapping Lilith back to reality. Her eyes widened, then instantly lit up.

  “Solo? Honey?” she said, sitting up straight. Giving a faint smile “Are we done here? I missed you.”

  Solo’s chest tightened.

  “I’m sorry, honey,” he said gently, “but Lich said you need to stay here for a few days. Just until he can figure out what’s wrong.”

  Lilith gasped.

  “What?!”

  Her hands clenched the blanket. “No… No-No-No-No! NO! There’s nothing wrong with me!”

  “Hm?” Lich leaned closer to the glass, intrigued. “Is that denial?”

  “Did I annoy you?!” Lilith tears starting to form. “Am I being a burden now just because I want to stay with you, Solo?!”

  “Oh? Now its guilt,” Lich muttered, pulling out his notebook. “Interesting.”

  “AFTER ALL I DID FOR YOU?! YOU UNGRATEFUL LEVEL 1 GREEN PIG!!” Lilith snapped.

  “Anger, definitely,” Lich said calmly, start scribbling his notebook.

  “But please… please don’t leave me here,” Lilith pleaded, hand reaching toward the glass like a tragic heroine. “I promise I’ll be a better wife!”

  “Bargaining,” Lich nodded while keep scribbling.

  “Unless…” Lilith’s voice cracked. “Unless I’m actually a terrible wife for you… HUAAAAA—!”

  She broke down again, sobbing loudly.

  “Oho,” Lich scribbling become faster. “Depression.”

  Then, abruptly, Lilith stopped crying.

  Her expression shifted, eyes clearing as a realization struck.

  “But maybe…” she whispered, clasping her hands together “now that I know I’m actually terrible… maybe... I can fix it.”

  “Coping and working through! Of course,” Lich amused.

  “I can take marriage class, cooking class, counseling, and yoga,” Lilith said, staring at the ceiling with hopeful eyes and a faint smile. “I can learn to be a better wife.”

  “…And acceptance,” Lich said, ripping the page from his notebook like a doctor finishing a prescription.

  He read the paper once more, impressed.

  “Amazing,” he muttered. “She just went through all seven stages of grief within one minute.”

  “SEE?!” Solo said, turning to him in panic. “I told you her mood swings are insane! So—what’s wrong with her?!”

  Lich folded the paper neatly.

  “Unfortunately,” he said, “…I believe I know exactly what’s happening to her.”

  ---

  Moments later.

  Solo and Lilith stood side by side, frozen in the same pose, staring in the same direction.

  Their faces were equally blank, equally stunned, like people looking at the largest diamond in the world.

  Below them, Lilith’s bare stomach was slick with gel as a female skeleton nurse gently pressed an ultrasound tool against it, adjusting the angle with practiced care.

  “Sigh… My theory is correct,” Lich said flatly, arms crossed. “While the symptoms are fascinating, she’s just pregnant. Nothing special.”

  “Alright, doctor,” another female skeleton nurse said firmly, already pushing Lich toward the exit, “you’re done with your diagnosis. Now give them some room.”

  Lich stumbled a step, blinking, confused as his own skeleton servants somehow deliberately removing him from rooms.

  Neither Solo or Lilith heard a single word.

  Their eyes were locked onto the monitor.

  There—faint, blurry, barely more than a suggestion of shape—was something inside Lilith. Something small. Something real. Something impossible. Like magic. A good magic.

  “Congratulations,” the nurse holding the ultrasound said gently, a bony smile on her face.

  Solo slowly reached for Lilith’s hand. His fingers closed around hers—gentle, firm, like he was afraid the moment might disappear if he held it wrong.

  Lilith looked at him.

  He looked back.

  And for a second, the world shrank down to just the two of them and the quiet hum of the machine.

  “Honey,” Solo whispered, his voice breaking, “I’m sorry. There was never anything wrong with you. There never has been. No matter what happens… you’re always perfect to me.”

  Lilith smiled, tears gathering in her eyes. “Oh, Solo… we’re having a baby.”

  Her hand tightened around his.

  “I’m going to be a mother,” she said softly. “And you’re going to be a dad.”

  “That’s right…” Solo sniffed, his nose already betraying him.

  “I’m gonna be… I’m gonna be… a—”

  He broke.

  “HUAAAAAAAAAA!”

  “Oh no—honey, please don’t cry…” Lilith said, tears spilling over immediately.

  “If you cry, then I’m going to cry… again…”

  “HUAAAAAAAAAA!”

  Now both of them were crying, completely, uncontrollably, hopelessly.

  The skeleton nurse sighed and looked toward the door.

  “…Can someone please call Doctor Lich back?” she shouted. “We have two patients now.”

  ---

  Somewhere in Murica.

  Night settled thick over a swamp, heavy with insects and mist. Fireflies blinked lazily above dark water, and the air smelled like mud, smoke, and cheap beer.

  Beside the swamp sat a trailer park—old trailers arranged in a rough circle around a large bonfire burning in the center. A few demons lounged on folding chairs, bottles in hand, boots on coolers, laughter slow and lazy.

  A radio crackled near the fire.

  ‘Free Bird’ played through a distorted speaker. The demon version had more screaming, more guitar, and somehow even less discipline.

  Some of the demons wore sleeveless red checkered shirts. Some had mullets. Some had both.

  Not far from the fire, a lone figure sat in a folding chair, leaned back so far like he earned it. A beer rested in one hand. His boots were propped up on another chair. He looked perfectly at peace.

  Then his phone ringtone rang. ‘Sweet Home Alabama’.

  The figure sighed, lifted the phone, and answered without moving.

  “Yeah?”

  He listened in silence for a few seconds.

  The swamp seemed to hold its breath.

  “…She’s what?!”