"Ever ridden a horse before you met me?" Jadpers asked over her shoulder. Euffie cursed herself; she knew was holding on too tight. Below her, Jadpers' black stallion cantered along over rocks and shrubbery and gentle inclines. Euffie's leg stubs hung behind Jadpers' stirrups.

  "Only a few times," she said. The wind was in her face. It chilled her teeth when she spoke. "At least, while I was conscious. My master would carry me to and from town."

  "Sorry to hear that. You've missed out on a good, solid ride in the open."

  They’d talked a lot more today than yesterday, Euffie noticed. The hot steppes of fadeward Adalaant stretched out in every direction, except of course fadeward. The sky-high barrier of purple fumes seethed and roiled like the Everwhite Seas on a calm day. Euffie shivered at the sight of it. She'd been inside of that monolith; it didn't look any better from within.

  To the northwest was a wide desert veined with rivers and floodplains. The hooves of the horse beneath Euffie were pounding soil that grew looser and looser with every trot. Here in the Fadereach, purple splotches stained the ground like a pie bakery’s kitchen floor. Fade-talents could be seen by the experienced eye sprouting and marbling the land.

  Jadpers was scouting ahead; the refugees on foot were a mile or so behind. They were not in friendly territory. According to Jadpers, there was no friendly territory. Not for the Steppe Hounds. Sure, there were the northern regions of the Gaar where the Ochre Company controlled in name only, but that was hardly substantive.

  Three other scout riders surveyed ahead of Jadpers. One of them was Heemlik with Kaanel at his back, and the other two were soldiers Euffie didn't know. That beautiful red-tail falcon circled overhead, around and above Heemlik's horse. Euffie’s eyes followed Sun-Beak. Watching his radiant grace and confidence helped her think.

  Fuck this, Euffie resolved to herself. I'm giving away more and more without meaning to. I should ask about them instead. Jadpers seems chatty enough when she wants to be. I’m tired of being the only refugee who doesn’t know what’s going on.

  "So, Jadpers," Euffie said, "who are you people anyway? You saved my life and I hardly even know who you are. Where are the Steppe Hounds from?"

  "I’m surprised you didn’t ask yesterday. Are you sure it won't piss off your engram if I yap about it?"

  How does she talk like that? Euffie wondered. Just listening to her makes my breath run out.

  "Go ahead, I'll squeeze if it hurts," she said.

  "Very well."

  Jadpers pulled on the reigns as they crested a hill, and turned her horse at an angle so she could survey the lands ahead. The rest of the force was a mile or so behind them. Euffie took in this unfamiliar western world while Jadpers spoke. The further north they got, and the closer they drew to Herepo, the more it reminded her of Barrid’s deserts. At least in this part of the Fadereach, there were no fogcrawlers. There wasn’t enough water like there had been in Halfway.

  "Do you know what a Pilgrimage of the Mists is?" Jadpers asked.

  "No. What's that?"

  "In my tribe, whenever a Prisnidine wants a chance for the chieftain's seat, they must complete a trip around the Fade and bring something home. That’s what my necklace is for.”

  "You wanted to become a chieftain?"

  "Yeah, cuz my dad was a moron. Kept getting us into pointless skirmishes with other tribes. Gave our tribe a bad reputation among the Prisnidines. I figured the only way to fix it was replacing him."

  "Huh."

  Jadpers glanced at the approaching company behind them, then signaled all-clear to the other three scout riders ahead. She kicked her horse's sides, and the trot resumed.

  "I was all the way to Adalaant," she continued. "Then the Ochre Company caught me."

  "Who're they?"

  Jadpers voice grew angry, which with her, meant it acquired a hiss.

  "The military watch of the Eerind family. They’re the branch of the Adalaantian Grand Army that maintains the prison colony and keeps the Fade fed.”

  “Oh, so they’re the army you Steppe Hounds are up against?”

  “Yep. Basically, they're just a bunch of murderers. King Foteeslm wants to keep the Fade-talents flowing, and wants to keep the Fade off his lands. He’s woven it all into their religion and justice systems and everything, it’s quite the tumor. The Eerind family, which Heemlik is the heir to, rules the Gaar. Adalaant’s criminals get sent there to work and die and get turned into firewood for the Fade."

  Euffie looked again at the curtain of the Fade around which they skirted. They'd exited the pocket of the Gaar. She was looking back at the most potent city wall in history.

  "What did they have to do with you? Why’d they capture you?"

  "Oh, they just hate Prisnidines in general. Something something, diseases. I forgot you're not very familiar with my kind. The Barridians and the Eclipticans are smart; they make a business out of us pilgrim Prisnidines. They give us discounts, they show us around, we get special treatment cuz our money is super valuable. We don't use amethysts, topaz, and peridots like the rest of you. The Adalaantians, on the other hand, just kill us on sight."

  "Yikes," Euffie said. “I hear they don’t like witches or scriptomancers either. What about Kaanel, then?”

  “He’s a rebel, isn’t he?” Jadpers countered.

  “Ah. I see.”

  "And to your point, yes, they don’t like witches or scriptomancers either. They’re a real no-fun zone, those Adalaantians. Every Prisnidine pilgrim knows Adalaant's the hard part of getting home. The final stretch, where everyone thinks you’re a disease-carrying abomination. I mean, the deserts in Barrid make for some squiggly routes if you don't wanna thirst your way to death, and it's pretty hard on our planty bodies, but it's nothing compared to navigating near Gaar-Adalaant with all the Ochre patrols."

  "So they caught you passing through? Were you with a group?"

  "Not just anybody caught me," Jadpers corrected, with some emphasis. "Kaanel himself caught me. I was able to sneak past everyone except a scriptomancer."

  "He was part of the Ochre company?"

  "Yes. A lot of things changed very quickly after we met. You'll have to ask him if you want his story."

  "I assume the Steppe Hounds protect Gaar-folk?"

  "We get them out of here," Jadpers replied. She stopped the horse to survey once more. "There's no future here for them. They're just ground-up feed for a beast. They'll be better off in the northern Adalaantian provinces, where the Gaar isn’t popular and Foteeslm doesn’t dare ransack to send them all back. He pretends we take them all the way to Ecliptica so he doesn’t look weak. We're taking you and the others there after we give Saangra a visit."

  They stopped again, waiting for the convoy to catch up. Jadpers let her horse graze; they were nearly out of grass, and it would only get more sparse. To the east, a few miles away, the Fade broiled like steam trapped inside an oven, scorching the drippings of food from dishes long since eaten.

  Oppzis had revealed something this morning about Euffie’s memory of Adalaant, and she’d been meaning to ask about it.

  “Why doesn’t the king intervene?” Euffie asked. “Isn’t the king of Adalaant the most powerful mage in the world?”

  Jadpers glanced over her shoulder at her. “Foteeslm? Everyone sure says he is, but the longer he goes without involving himself, the more I think age has made him into a paper tiger. Plus, I think he’s trying to let Abadir handle it so he doesn’t undermine one of his best generals.”

  Euffie frowned. “What’s a paper tiger?”

  “Oh! I guess that is a newer thing. When I was traveling through Ecliptica, I found this neat thing they’ve got called paper. It’s like papyrus, but much better. You can fold it into all sorts of fun shapes and you can draw on it very easily. Sometimes people will draw tigers or fold the paper so it looks like a tiger. A tiger is supposed to be scary, but when it’s made out of paper, it’s more of a joke. I should take you past Herepo, all the way to Ecliptica, once all this is sorted out. They have so many neat inventions popping up everywhere right now.”

  To her surprise, Euffie found that idea rather appealing. If only because she had nowhere to go and knew no one else in the world. With Marthera gone, and all her other friends and family trapped in the engram, Jadpers had a lot of space to fill. She was doing an excellent job of it. Jadpers was the kind of person who filled spaces.

  Euffie found herself relaxing into Jadpers' back more than before. The Prisnidine’s wooden arms weren’t the most pleasant to drape under or over, but Euffie made do.

  “You know,” she said quietly, as Jadpers kicked her horse forward again. “I think I might like that, actually.”

  ***

  Dusk came. At first, Euffie was surprised at how comfortable she felt being surrounded by people. Steppe Hound soldiers and overworked Adalaantian peasants were everywhere, day and night. She'd spent years that she could remember on an isolated farm at the edge of the world, and Aleb had been claustrophobic. Then she remembered, or rather didn't remember, the years she'd spent growing up in the city under Mother Marthera's care. Being surrounded by people was most of her memory that didn’t involve Derek. Of course she felt more comfortable that way.

  Heemlik sat across the campfire from her, next to his husband. Jadpers sat next to Euffie, and other soldiers she didn’t know made up the rest of the circle. She was the only non-soldier present, but she felt more like she belonged wherever Jadpers was. It had been a good day in the saddle with her. When evening came, Euffie couldn’t help set up her and Jadpers’ tent, but she could help stir and cook the food.

  A few minutes after finishing her dinner, Euffie had to take care of some business. She whispered to Jadpers what she needed.

  “Probably best to let one of those two take you, then,” Jadpers said, pointing to Heemlik and Kaanel. “It’s not appropriate around here for two girls to sneak off together like that.”

  Euffie frowned. After living with Derek for a few years, the idea that she was seen as “safer” with a man than a woman was an adjustment. Especially given that she was riding with one all day. “Wha - oh. Right.”

  “Need something, naamita?” Heemlik asked. The soldiers looked up at their commanders’ voice, and Euffie shook her head before she could go red.

  “Not now,” she forced out.

  “It will wait until after we’ve eaten,” Jadpers added for her. “She needs to ask you a question, boss. In private.”

  “I see,” Heemlik said. Then, he turned back to his husband and everyone moved on a lot faster than Euffie did.

  ***

  When Euffie hauled herself out of her tent an hour later, because Jadpers was still asleep, she found herself looking up at none other than Heemlik.

  "Uh, hi," she said. She wasn't sure whether Oppzis framing the commander’s head helped or not. Heemlik had a face designed to be looked up at, but not in a friendly way. His Steppe Hound armor augmented the effect substantially. Clothed in that blackened purple dye, Euffie was made to think of staring up at the Fade looming over her.

  He’s huge; how did he get so close without me hearing?

  "I see you’re still awake," Heemlik said. "You said you had a question for me, but you left before we could speak."

  Euffie considered waking Jadpers. "Can you ... step back, please?"

  Heemlik frowned. He was clearly accustomed to more respect. Well, that was too damn bad. Euffie was fresh out. Heemlik took exactly one step backward, which was more than Euffie had expected after the words left her mouth.

  “What did you need?” he asked. Euffie’s lips went taut as her body reminded her why she had crawled out of the tent. It hadn’t made its needs known until a minute ago, after Jadpers was asleep. They’d talked for almost an hour together, sharing stories and thoughts. Jadpers fascinated Euffie, and she gladly let the chatty Prisnidine do most of the talking.

  “I need to piss,” Euffie said frankly. “Apparently Jadpers can’t carry me outside camp at night.”

  “I would be happy to help,” Heemlik replied. “The suns shouldn't see me making you crawl everywhere when I could carry you."

  The suns are both set right now, man, she thought but didn’t say. They can’t see you do anything.

  At first, Euffie was repulsed by the offer. She hated being touched, even when Jadpers did it, and Jadpers was a girl. Heemlik, however, had a husband. He was Adalaantian. Around here, it probably was safer for a man to touch her than a woman. And although the tents around Jadpers were noticeably distanced from hers, Euffie was toward the middle of the camp …

  "Fine," she sighed. "But don’t try anything. My moon’s in the sky, sir, and I’m dangerous with or without legs.”

  Heemlik bowed slightly. "Certainly, naamita."

  Euffie turned herself to lean on one arm, and Heemlik squatted behind her. Gently, he slid sleeved arms beneath her and lifted her in the air. She hated every moment of contact, but she settled in to endure the walk between the tents. Heemlik's grip was not gentle, but even in uniform it was a lot less rough than Derek's.

  Oppzis told Euffie that her magic was starting to re-gather. She couldn’t run, obviously, but if she had to she could do some serious damage to both herself and Heemlik.

  Not right now, she sent. Trying to conceal her worry, she checked herself for any traces of silver magic Heemlik might notice. She didn’t need that topic of conversation right now. Oppzis told her not to fret; he wouldn't do something sloppy like that.

  What happened to my feet, then?

  Oppzis told her to be more grateful; he had gotten her halfway across the world with an engram on her cheek. She’d gotten off lightly by only losing her legs from the knees down.

  Near the edge of the camp, Heemlik spoke.

  "I try to … " he considered, then pushed on. "I try to acquaint myself with the workers. I'm told it … helps. And I would like to get to know you better before we encounter the witch I am already familiar with.”

  Heemlik talked to her like a man who was used to cutting flowers talking to a flower.

  “You’re told?”

  Heemlik's frown was complemented by narrowed eyes. Heemilk's eyes were very good at that effect. Euffie shuddered to imagine the man he'd gotten it from.

  Except he doesn't have a father, in the traditional sense, she remembered. He's Adalaantian, like me. Spawned on a genesis spire somewhere. No genes here, just training.

  Confusion gave way to a modicum of respect. Heemlik had cultivated that look himself.

  Don’t forget that this man saved your life, she reprimanded herself. You should show some deference. To all of them, but him especially. He didn’t have to take you along. He still doesn’t have to.

  Once in a while, Euffie reflected, her younger self had a point. She was glad Oppzis hadn’t rooted her out entirely yet, even if she was a reminder that her engram was deteriorating and would eventually kill her.

  "Look," Heemlik said, ignoring her question. "I admit in confidence; you interest me. Jadpers has told me much of your story. I want to know more about your witchbinder pursuer, the one who probably has the other compass ring.”

  It made sense, though Euffie didn’t appreciate the reminder. The odds were not good that Derek was still after her, not with that witchbinder coming up behind him, and after whatever she’d done to him by running out of his arms at top speed. But even in her more mature set of memories, Derek just seemed ... unkillable. Permanent. One day, long after she forgot about him, Derek would show up again, and take everything away from her like he had done back in Aleb three years ago. He had done that, no matter what he tried to put in her head. No matter what the engram suspiciously seemed to agree with.

  I really should stay with Jadpers, or that Saangra witch. Anybody. Maybe I should just come back with the Steppe Hounds, make sure I’m never alone again.

  “Are you there, naamita?”

  Euffie snapped back to the present. “Yes. Sorry, sir. What were you saying?”

  “I was saying, if we could get that scriptomancer back to us, and convince him to join our side somehow, it would be a great help to my husband. He’s entirely self-taught in that form of magic.”

  “I’ll need to think about it, but I’m happy to be bait,” Euffie said dryly. “As long as I’m well-guarded bait.”

  “There are no better guards than Steppe Hounds,” Heemlik replied. “Plus, we shall see what Saangra can contribute on this account.”

  They were outside the camp now, and judging by the smell, they were where they needed to be.

  "Here we are, naamita," Heemlik said, lowering Euffie to the ground on the far side of a few bushes. The dry plain air was noticeably cooler out here than in the camp.

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  "Why don't you call Jadpers naamita?" Euffie asked Heemlik's retreating back.

  "Because she asked me not to," Heemlik answered. He reached the opposite side of the bushes and turned away.

  A few minutes passed. Then, Euffie started making her way around the bush toward Heemlik. Hearing her, he turned and moved to help her.

  "Can you not call me naamita either?" she asked.

  He scooped her up once more. "Certainly."

  When Heemlik turned to the camp, though, he paused in place.

  "What?" Euffie asked. She felt a sudden stab of fear. They weren't far from the tents, but she was still alone with him. Vulnerable. Was there any point in screaming? What would his soldiers do if they heard? Gah, she was stupid. So what if he was Adalaantian? He was still a man.

  Just before silvery magic became visible on her body, Heemlik started toward the camp again. Euffie felt relief replace her anxiety. Some of it, at least.

  "Tell me more about your master," Heemlik said quietly.

  "That will fucking hurt," Euffie replied, a little less quietly.

  “Your engram?” he asked.

  “No. Not my engram. How does knowing more about him help you?"

  Heemlik pursed his lips before answering. He kicked aside a rock in his path. Damn, his footsteps were heavy. His footfalls didn't freak Euffie out as much as Derek's had, but she bet it would if she ever heard him walk on a wood floor, creaking beneath him.

  "You don't have to tell me," he said, "but you are owed an answer to that question. It helps me because I hope your master is still alive. That way I can find him, interrogate the location of his scriptomancer out of him if the man doesn’t show up himself, and then put your master to the sword. If I'm feeling kind that day."

  Euffie lit up, but it was short-lived. As wonderful as siccing someone like Heemlik on Derek would be, how was she supposed to face him again? Especially if she was bait with her ring? Euffie was the best Derek bait in the world, and for bad reasons.

  They reached Jadpers' tent. Heemlik put her down in a patch of grass beside the tent flap.

  "I'll be frank," Heemlik said. "You know that I used to be in charge of the Gaar, yes? At least, in line to inherit it?"

  "Yes," Euffie said. "You drew a line at killing people and it pissed off your dads."

  Heemlik picked up a rock in his hand and started slowly turning it over.

  In the short time Euffie had known Heemlik, he came across as a commanding, decisive figure. Kaanel seemed to read him when he did something like this, but Euffie still had a long way to go for that ability.

  "Sorry,” Euffie said, heeding her guilty reflexes. “I shouldn’t have assum-”

  "I did draw a line," Heemlik interrupted. "That wasn't the line you mention, but it should have been."

  "What should it have been?" Euffie asked, before she could stop herself. She adjusted her seat in the dirt uncomfortably. This Ochre uniform was too big, and she didn't like the look Heemlik was giving her. It didn’t help that this was the uniform of the people who answered to Heemlik. Euffie wished Heemlik’s bird was here. He was easier to talk to when Sun-Beak was around.

  "I still do not know," Heemlik admitted after some time. Euffie wasn't sure what to do with that. After a pause that was a little too long, Heemlik rose to his feet, shaking his head. He dropped the rock.

  "This was a mistake," he said, turning to go. Euffie watched him for a few moments; she felt like there was something she needed to ask him.

  "Thank you," she said without thinking.

  "Hm?" Heemlik stopped. "What for?"

  “For ... well, for saving my life,” she said lamely. “I uh, I appreciate it. Even if I’m difficult. Sometimes.”

  Heemlik turned to look at her again with a gaze sharpened on a grindstone. He wasn’t angry. At least, Euffie didn’t think he was. But a blade doesn’t need to be angry to cut, and a gaze like that doesn’t need to be angry to pierce.

  "Sorry," she said. Then, she did something unusual: she broke eye contact.

  At least, she thought, remembering some of Marthera's words, unusual for the new me. Not the younger one.

  Heemlik sighed, and she heard him continue marching away.

  Fuck.

  ***

  "Eat," Jadpers said, pushing a bowl into her hands. "You're too skinny for me to eat yours too."

  Euffie came back to the present. She was doing that a lot since dashing through the Fade, wandering off with her eyes in space. She was pocket-diving every night. Oppzis said she was prone to zone out while her brain adjusted to being in space every now and then. Being on her moon’s surface put her a lot closer to her bonded partner. It was like skin adjusting to a different humidity.

  The fire in front of Euffie was dying. Jadpers sat beside her, and a few of Heemlik's men made a circle around the dim blaze. This was a grassier part of the land, and bugs could be heard singing. The smell of short vegetation settling down for the night filled the air. Euffie took a deep breath, and started on the cooled stew.

  "Mind if I join you both?"

  Euffie looked up sharply to see Kaanel, the scriptomancer, standing over her. He flinched. Euffie didn't remember Derek ever doing that, though she'd hit him in the same place more times than she could remember.

  "Sure," Euffie said, scooting closer to Jadpers to make room. Kaanel took a seat beside her. There was an awkward pause. Jadpers was whittling a small figurine, and didn't seem to have noticed. She was good at that, Euffie was coming to learn.

  "Sorry," Euffie and Kaanel said together.

  "It's all right," they both answered. Kaanel chuckled.

  "I also wanted to apologize for my husband," Kaanel continued. "I understand he spoke to you last night."

  Euffie waved dismissively, her mouth full.

  "No, no," she said. "He didn't do anything wrong."

  "He came back to me irritable and said I should talk to you myself. I figured he may have said something he regrets. I told him to follow up and visit you in the first place, so here I am."

  "Oh. You did? Why?"

  "Because I was afraid if I did, you'd hit me again," Kaanel laughed. "And because it's good for him to be acquainted with the workers."

  "Slaves, you mean?"

  "We have workers in the Gaar," Kaanel corrected. "They have slaves in Ecliptica and Barrid. Though if I’m being honest, I don’t see the difference either."

  That last part surprised Euffie; it drew a meaningful distinction between how she felt around the two men.

  “I see,” Euffie said. Her stew was almost finished.

  "Anyway," Kaanel went on, "if the scriptomancer with the other part of your ring shows himself, do you want him alive?"

  Euffie hesitated with the wooden spoon in her mouth.

  "Yes," she said a moment later, and set down her empty bowl. "I do. At least, as long as he’s not working with Derek again. If he is, you and Heemlik can tear him up. It wouldn’t surprise me. I bet he hates Dere, but not as much as he hates me."

  "Well, we need dangerous. How dangerous?"

  "Depends on how much he's being paid."

  "Ah, I see. That kind of dangerous. Well, Heemlik was an heir to the Gaar. I'm sure he'll know where to find the money, especially if we win. We could use someone deadly, and I could use a teacher."

  Good luck with learning, Euffie thought. That silent scriptomancer hadn't made a sound even when he got hit in the face.

  "Just make sure you wait to hire him until I'm gone," she said. "He gave me the creeps.”

  Kaanel nodded slowly, and the two drifted into silence.

  "What is your plan, anyway?"

  Euffie shook herself out of another daze. Jadpers had spoken this time, though Kaanel was still here.

  "What?" she asked.

  "What is your plan?" the Prisnidine repeated. "You know, for when you get to Ecliptica? After we get your legs put back together, of course."

  "Well, I'll find a scriptomancer who can get this damn thing off my face, and go from there."

  Euffie’s engram had been remarkably well-behaved in Adalaant. Oppzis knew what he was doing with it now. Sometimes the younger self made herself known, but it was in subtle ways that Euffie usually only noticed hours later if she was reflecting on the conversation. She’d been mostly unhindered by it since opening up to Jadpers.

  "Sorry I can't do it," Kaanel sighed. "I'm not much good with my moon-shard yet. I'm self-taught. I can do a pretty good protection engram though, if you want. Or explosive, if I can somehow get Heemlik’s permission."

  "No thank you," Euffie shook her head. "I've got enough engrams on me as is."

  "You have more than one?"

  "Uh … yes. But I don't want to talk about them."

  Kaanel looked disappointed. Too bad.

  "Well, there are plenty of scriptomancers in Ecliptica," Jadpers said. "I passed through there on my Pilgrimage of the Mists. Met more than a few scriptomancers. You should have good luck getting your memories back."

  "Thanks," Euffie muttered. She rested on her elbows, since she still couldn’t pull her knees up and wrap her arms around bent legs. She was getting tired of crawling everywhere. It was a good thing she’d be getting those legs back soon. She couldn’t imagine staring down the crossbow of a life with no legs.

  "Suns guide you," Kaanel said. "Truly. Barrid and the Gaar are harsh places, and putting yourself together afterward is no easy task."

  Euffie wondered if she'd ever been religious. As she did, the campfire got noticeably dimmer.

  What tradition had Euffie been brought up with? Marthera hadn't bothered much with that stuff, always letting the children go to whichever shrines they wanted. She didn't want to know what her mothers had tried to teach her.

  Euffie especially didn’t want to know the more quotes she heard from the Adalaantian scriptures. Sure, some of them weren’t all that bad, but they were basic things everyone got right. “Don’t kill people”, “don’t lie”, etc. The problem came in with all the exceptions it made. “Don’t kill people unless they’re Prisnidine,”, and “don’t lie unless the king says to”. Euffie wasn’t interested in the version Heemlik got from his fathers, and she certainly wasn’t interested in the one she got from her mothers. Maybe Kaanel’s was worth looking into, but in Euffie’s opinion, she could judge a faith by the company it keeps. Halorism certainly didn’t stop Derek or Kebbik from what they did.

  "Can I come find you after all this is said and done?" Jadpers asked.

  It was such an out-of-nowhere question that Euffie thought her mind had been wandering again for a moment. Kaanel seemed surprised as well.

  "Um, why?" Euffie asked.

  Jadpers shrugged. "Because I like you."

  Euffie blushed. "Why?"

  "Because you're hot, and I like how you make Kaanel and Heemlik nervous."

  "Hey!" Kaanel stopped pretending not to hear.

  "What?" Jadpers smirked. "It's cute. Isn't that why you like Heemlik?"

  "I like Heemlik for many reasons," Kaanel retorted. "He is an honorable man with horrible direction. He is like an exquisitely crafted sword which – "

  "-is being used on the wrong people, yes, yes," Jadpers interrupted. "I know, I know. I like him too, remember? I kinda forsook my people to help him kick his dad's ass. Remember?"

  "Who is his dad, anyway?" Euffie asked, eager to keep the conversation somewhere else. Jadpers winked at her, but let her get away with it.

  "You tell her, Kaanel."

  Kaanel sighed. "Well, I would direct you to ask Heemlik himself, but … " he hesitated, then said: "Well, I suppose I know the man well enough."

  He shared a few select stories from Heemlik's past, since Kaanel had come into his life. They were not good stories, but they did paint the picture. Euffie's engram snapped at her when the Genesis Spires and other Adalaantian cultural elements came up, but she got the general idea.

  The dog? Come on, man. You slaughtered people for years, and a dog is what snapped you out of it?

  That doesn’t even make sense given his father. His father hunted those dogs to the brink of extinction.

  Euffie tried to pay more attention to Abadir in the last few stories, especially when Kaanel described what he did at the base of those staving cliffs. Kaanel shared a glance with Jadpers, then divulged that Heemlik had chosen to spare Abadir’s life.

  “What?” she said, shocked. “He had a chance to end the war right then and there, and he didn’t do it?”

  Kaanel shook his head. Jadeprs said nothing.

  “Why do any of his soldiers follow him then?” Euffie asked, glancing around. No other soldiers remained at the campfire. “Why do you two follow him?”

  Jadpers’ gaze was fixed on the dead fire.

  “Because … “ Kaanel managed. “Because I trust him. I don’t trust Abadir, but I trust Heemlik to make the right decision.”

  “The right decision?”

  Kaanel nodded. “The right decision. He’s made it before, when we needed him most.. Heemlik will do what’s right in the end.”

  “Don’t tell anyone else about that,” Jadpers added. “That he spared Abadir. You’re the only person we’ve told in this batch of refugees, so we’ll know.”

  Euffie thought about what Kaanel had told her about Abadir, this man that was apparently causing Heemlik such a dilemma.

  They follow him anyway, she realized, because most of them don’t know he spared Abadir’s life when he had the chance. Only a few, like Kaanel and Jadpers and whoever else they whisper it to in private like me, really know. Even if I tried to tell everyone, no one would believe me.

  Jadpers wouldn’t be believed either. She’s a Prisnidine. They all try not to breathe the same air as her if they can avoid it.

  Kaanel, though? They’d believe Kaanel. Euffie had seen the rapport he had among the ranks. If Kaanel wanted to, he could ruin Heemlik by betraying that story. But he didn’t.

  "Abadir sounds like Derek," Euffie said. Kaanel flinched.

  "Please never say that around Heemlik. One of the reasons Heemlik wanted to ask about your former master was so he could distinguish him from his father. It makes Heemlik uncomfortable when bad people do what his father does."

  Euffie frowned. "Maybe he should be uncomfortable, then."

  Kaanel shifted in his seat. The three of them were alone at the fire, now. It gave Euffie’s words a lot more space than she’d anticipated. It was also probably why Kaanel had taken the opportunity to share the truth about that day at the base of the Staving Cliffs.

  "I joined the Ochre Company when I was fifteen," Kaanel said. "I was merely trained to brutalize and slaughter people. Heemlik was raised to do it. His earliest memories are of staving rituals. His father was raised the same way. To an extent I don't think Heemlik realizes, if something is fundamentally wrong with Abadir, he thinks something is fundamentally wrong with Heemlik."

  Euffie said nothing. It didn't make her want to learn more about her parents, though.

  "Somehow he managed to detach Timoor from that mess," Kaanel went on. "Timoor was allowed, in Heemlik's mind, to be corrupt and evil. But his daamvi… his daamvi has to be just like Heemlik is: a good man, but blinded. Misguided. He thinks his father just needs someone to teach him, show him the error of his ways, like I did for Heemlik. His father is a hunter, but also a doctor. A taker and protector of life. Heemlik thinks that, were he to strip away all the dogma and learned cruelty Abadir is filled with, he would find a man motivated by a sincere desire to make the world a better place."

  No one said anything for a minute. Euffie chewed on that, trying to run Derek through that test. He failed, miserably.

  What about my mothers?

  Oppzis asked if she wanted him to uncover those memories or not. She hurriedly turned him down.

  "Something Heemlik has learned, however," Kaanel went on, "is that power destroys everyone except the truly evil. I am reminded of the polygamists in Jel-Hanga, and what happens when a patriarch doesn’t discipline his wives enough, or when he refuses to marry another given to him by his community leader.

  “Yes, power will grind the powerless to dust, but it is not good enough to be in the powerful class. If you do not allow the power to twist you into something horrible, then the system will destroy you too. And Abadir … has not been destroyed."

  Euffie watched the fire cling futilely to life. There wasn’t enough flame left to dance in her or Jadpers' eyes.

  "If you grew up in Adalaant too, and were trained in the Ochre company," Euffie said, "where did you learn to think like this? Was there someone to be your voice of reason, like you try to do for Heemlik?”

  Kaanel shook his head. "Like I said, I only joined the Ochre company when I was fifteen. I earned that position by serving elsewhere, in the east near the border of Prisnidine. Met a few Prisnidines before Jadpers, though I never told anyone. Talking to someone who has been all around the world does things to your head. Especially when you were raised to think they were an abomination, but you parted as friends."

  "Is that where you got the moon-shard?"

  Kaanel shook his head. "I found it in the Gaar. Do you know where those come from?"

  Euffie went to answer, but her engram squeezed. Oppzis was working on her memories of how lunomancy worked, not scriptomancy.

  "Apparently I used to," she groaned. "Nevermind."

  Euffie noticed Jadpers leaning forward on her chin, looking embarrassed about something. The fire was dead, now. "I'm off to sleep," Kaanel yawned. He stretched and came to his feet. "We need to be up early tomorrow. Abadir's patrol is still after us."

  “Oh,” Euffie said quickly, remembering. “Is it all right if I hold Sun-Beak?”

  Kaanel raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? It’s amazing how small that bird looks until he gets on your wrist.”

  “If it’s okay with Heemlik,” Euffie said. “I would just like to hold him once, is all.”

  “Ask him when you get a chance,” Kaanel said, rising to his feet. “But good luck; that bird is a very busy creature when we travel like this.”

  "Thanks," Euffie said. Jadpers could probably help with this later. Euffie watched the scriptomancer go. She remembered, as often happens to high-strung people, that she ought to have been a lot nicer to the person who just left. Kaanel helped save her from the damage dashing through the Fade had done to her engram. He’d snapped her out of her coma.

  Nothing for it now, except to be better with the other person.

  "Jadpers?" she asked. "Should we go back to the tent? What's wrong?"

  Jadpers' embarrassment tried to vanish, and she grunted. "Nothing's wrong. We should get to bed."

  "Come on," Euffie pushed. "I won't let you pick me up until you tell me."

  "I'll just leave you out in the cold, then."

  Euffie hadn't noticed how cold the air did indeed get in Adalaant, once the fire was gone. But she knew it was a hollow threat. She refused to shiver, and pressed on.

  "Jadpers," she warned. "Come on. I'll trade you something I've been stubborn about. Within reason."

  That got Jadpers' attention. The look on her green face made Euffie instantly regret the offer.

  "Deal. What're the other engrams you've got?"

  Euffie closed her eyes. Fuck.

  "Just one. A contraception engram, on my navel. I'll let you figure out the rest. There. That's all. Your turn."

  Jadpers' mouth hung slightly open for a second, then she recovered by staring at the ground again.

  "Man, now I feel even worse … "

  "Just say it."

  "I'm sorry for advancing on you like that," Jadpers muttered. "I'm sorry. I told myself I wasn't going to do it the entire time since you've been awake, and then I went and did it. To you. A rape victim. Moons, I'm such a twit. I have … I have no excuse."

  "Hey, I asked you to come back to the tent with me, didn't I?"

  Jadpers nodded once at that.

  She doesn't look half bad either, Euffie allowed herself to think. She knew it wasn't going anywhere, though. Not for a long time. Not without legs, not with these engrams, and not while that scriptomancer or Derek were alive. At least Euffie was getting used to that obnoxious breathy voice Jadpers used.

  Nah, Euffie decided. She’ll just be like a sister. That sounds better in my head.

  The Prisnidine shook herself and stood.

  "No use mopin'," she said. "Here, lemme scoop you up."

  ***

  “Euffie?” Jadpers asked over her shoulder, securing her bags to the saddle. “She’s doing great. I think we’re hitting it off just fine. Why do you ask?”

  It was morning, and the camp was getting ready to leave. Euffie was chatting with Kaanel about something while she waited for Jadpers to ready up and come get her.

  Behind her, Heemlik sighed. “I’m relieved to hear that. I had hoped you and her would be a natural match.”

  Jadpers snorted. “Why, cuz I’m a Prisnidine and she’s a witch?”

  “Well - yes,” Heemlik admitted. “But also because you two seemed to get along so well that first day, and she did ask you to accompany her, even though you’re also a woman.”

  “She’s from Barrid, not Adalaant,” Jadpers replied. “It’s men that scare her.”

  “In a way, she is from Adalaant,” Heemlik corrected. Jadpers turned to him.

  “This conversation is so dumb, it’s making my Naruglid sound better than yours. Are we going somewhere with this?”

  Heemlik sighed again, and put a hand to his forehead. Jadpers gave him a patient smile.

  It’s nice not to be the only person in camp who can make those Eerind boys break posture.

  Moons, Euffie is hot. Even relegated to friends with her is amazing.

  “Heemlik,” she said, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Royal to royal, you’re fine. Euffie and I get along great, and you were smart to put us together. I’m just giving you a hard time.”

  “Jadpers,” the Eerind heir said.

  “Yes?”

  Heemlik took her free hand in his, and squeezed. His grip was one of the few that could compete with a wooden Prisnidine’s.

  “I wanted to say thank you, again,” he said. “For everything you’ve given to this cause. To me. To the people of Adalaant. We don’t deserve such competent, loyal help from a Prisnidine like you, and yet we have enjoyed it through thick and thin. My men do not respect you as they ought, not yet. You delayed a return to your own people just to help Adalaant’s, of all others. I met you in one of my own dungeons. You talked me off of a dark path, and while the world around us is changing in .... inconvenient ways, I don’t regret a single choice you’ve talked me into.”

  Jadpers wanted the praise to swell in her chest. She really did. In the past, it had. She could tell Heemlik meant it. He was not the kind of man to give praise unless he truly meant it. A smile and a nod from Heemlik was a standing ovation from a normal person.

  But after talking to Euffie, and hearing her rant at herself for giving up her chances to kill Derek, everything Heemlik did and said was undercut by that choice he’d made at the very beginning of this rebellion. He could thank Jadpers for her advice all he wanted, but until he actually followed it, this kind of thing would always fall flat.

  “Thank you for your words, Heemlik,” she said simply, squeezing his hand back. “Just keep your promise and plant my seed somewhere safe if I die. I need to go get Euffie, now. Long day ahead.”