I remember when the earth was still green. The lush, vast fields that stretched for what seemed like forever; the high, stoic mountains standing proudly against the wistful breeze; the great clear oceans that reached deep into the core of the earth itself. Oh, and the animals. They were a sight to behold. Colorful birds, giant insects, and… the dinosaurs.

  It seems like just yesterday, when the dinosaurs were wiped out by the meteor. The very meteor that I created… They were supposed to be the dominators of their planet. We armed them to the teeth with the greatest biological weapons: talons, powerful jaws, and the most endurable of bodies. Yet, all it took was a single mistake.

  GRegret still burdens me when I think of that moment. We were still so naive, so unaware that we thought we alone could control every aspect of the expansive universe we created.

  (You are correct. Thus, it was a good idea for us to take the oath to never interfere with its development again.)

  [Never have we faced a similar crisis since.]

  ((Oh, please ####, don’t pretend everything’s fine. You were there, remember?))

  ((Continue. Tell them the rest of the story.))

  Thank you. As I was saying, it was all fine… Until the humans were created. Even when we let the world take its own course, Earth was developing just fine. New species evolved, gradually replacing the dinosaurs. However, out of pure bad luck, disaster came once more.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  While all the other animals favoured pure strength, this one developed something else… something much more powerful. The creatures slowly but surely shed their muscles and strength, leaving room for their secret weapon: Intelligence.

  Such a weapon was dangerous to us. The beings infested with this power were too unique. Too… unpredictable. And our fears were justified.

  Gradually, the creatures conquered the earth, swarming around it like a disease that had learned to think. Everywhere they went, the ##### became shambles. The once blue skies became filled with thick smoke. The vast green fields were destroyed, only for large steel structures to take their place. The ocean became as dark and desolate as the starry night sky.

  Worst of all, any sustainable life was subject to the new species—either kept as slaves or used as food. That species was, of course, the ###-

  {Now, now, ######. We haven’t got the time for all this! I’m sure the reader is dying to get to the actual story. We don’t need this background shit. Let’s just skip to the story already.}

  {Oh, for the love of...are you seriously still doing the dramatic pause thing?}

  What did I say about you writing swears in our book, ####?

  I’m getting to it. Also, I might as well censor some things. You guys really do have no filter…

  Alright. I am going to tell you, reader, a story. A story that belongs to a member of the species that we had mentioned. From this story, we hope to empower fellow gods and creators to foster their own—

  {OH GET ON WITH IT ALREADY.}

  Alright, fine. Calm down.

  

  <###### has used “special-grade” ability “########## ” on #######>