Hang on… she thanked him for his gift. Shit… were we meant to bring gifts? Bollocks… I didn’t know that.

  Dwynfel: “Kiyui… were we meant to bring a gift?”

  Kiyui: “Don’t worry, your mum sorted it. She provided a load of veg for the wedding meal.”

  Dwynfel: “Oh, that’s good. I was worried for a second there.”

  Kiyui: “What did you guys get them? She seems quite taken by it.”

  Rosario’s eyes widened with excitement.

  Rosario: “A refrigerator.”

  Dwynfel: “What in the world is a refrigerator?”

  Rosario: “It’s something that Wynrun and I have been working on. It’s this big box, taller than Phoenix, wider than Damecus, and… it keeps things cold.”

  Dwynfel: “Couldn’t you just leave things outside. Most of the year things are pretty cold round here.”

  Rosario: “Outside doesn’t have a consistent temperature… and if you leave your food stuffs outside then they will often be eaten by bugs and animals. We really think this is the future of food preservation. We are currently working on a way to increase the cooling power to below freezing so food can be preserved for even longer.”

  Okay… that does actually sound amazing… from the perspective of somebody who grew up on a farm that would be brilliant for keeping stock for the winter.

  Dwynfel: “That does sound amazing… but… if you don’t mind me asking… how on earth do you do it?”

  Rosario: “Well, Wynrun and I have been working on mana storage devices. We call them batteries. Wynrun devised the components that draw power from these devices in order to, kind of, suck the heat out of the box. A fully charged battery can keep the fridge working for about two weeks. So, as long as you remember to keep charging it then you can have cold food indefinitely.”

  Damecus: “This invention of yours sounds marvellous. Do you intend to mass produce it?”

  Rosario: “Huh?”

  Damecus: “Do you intend to make more and distribute them throughout the kingdom.”

  Rosario: “Oh, absolutely. If we can get enough of them out there, it will reduce food waste significantly. And if we can get the power boosted enough for the freezing to work, then we can prevent food shortages through the winter.”

  He really does seem like he is much better suited to ruling than most that I have encountered. His first concern is for the people and making sure they have food for the winter. Most people I know would have instantly thought about the amount of money they could make from selling them.

  I do enjoy watching Phoenix when Rosario is around. It is like her entire face changes when he is involved. Her face is usually so deadpan… either that or she just looks irritated. But when she’s with him… she just seems softer. When he was talking about the refrigerator before, she was looking at him with such loving eyes… like she was just so proud of him. I can tell she cares about him deeply.

  Don’t get me wrong… I have had some very lovely moments with her in the past… what she did for me back at the oasis for example… I’ll never forget the love and care that she has shown me… but you know what I mean. She is a very caring person… however, her face does not tend to reflect this. Around Rosario however… her love is very visible… and I find it very sweet.

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  Smutisha bounded into the middle of the space that the servants had just finished clearing. She tapped on a glass with a spoon and the whole room fell silent… again.

  Smutisha: “Now… this is normally when the bride and groom would perform the customary and overly elaborate first dance together. However, since my lovely groom is unfamiliar with our customs and our dance practices, I decided it would be unfair of us to expect him to be able to pull off such a display. So instead, he and his friend Keith are going to perform a dance from their culture. Now, nobody panic about the use of knives. I am aware that the sight of goblins wielding knives is not normally associated with dancing… but rest assured they are purely for performance purposes.”

  She gestured towards the band and began to walk out of the area that has now become a dance floor. As she did, Thomas and Keith entered the area. Thomas looked nervous, which is no surprise. Keith however just looks mildly inconvenienced by this entire thing. They both had two knives attached to their belts and one additional knife in each of their mouths. They stood at opposite sides of the circular clearing, facing each other.

  The drummer started playing a relatively slow and steady beat to start with, and they both began to juggle their knives. At first just the two from their belts but then they both added their third knives. Then the string instruments started to play and they started to toss the knives to each other across the room. Juggling all six knives between them. Which I will admit is definitely impressive. I would have absolutely cut myself by now.

  Then the speed started to build and they got faster and faster… then came the flute, the oboe, and the clarinet. As the music began to get more intense, they both adopted this weird standing position where they kind of looked like they were sitting down on small chairs… but they were… as they were in this position… they were kind of bouncing and kicking their legs in time to the music… while continuing to juggle.

  They started getting closer and closer to each other. As they did, the knives started being thrown more upwards rather than forwards… the knives were going higher and higher. Then suddenly Thomas jumped onto Keith’s shoulders. Keith continued to bounce and kick and they continued to juggle the knives by passing them between themselves.

  The music built up more and more and as it reached its climax, they both threw all of the knives up in the air. The split second after they did, Thomas jumped off Keith’s shoulders, doing a kind of weird twisting flip in the process. He landed on the floor with his back to Keith; he had one knee on the ground and his arms outstretched. As he did, Keith adopted the same position and the knives all fell blade first into the ground in a circle around the two of them.

  They both looked very out of breath… which isn’t surprising, that looked absolutely fucking knackering. The room erupted in applause. Smutisha rushed forward, picked up Thomas, gave him a big hug and kissed him square on the lips. Which seemed to take him by surprise. He seemed more breathless after that than he had from the dance performance. Smutisha then turned to address the room once more.

  Smutisha: “Wasn’t that absolutely wonderful. These men were made to perform. Absolutely fantastic. We are going to have a few nice calm slow songs now, so that everybody can get their breath back. You may also notice that coffee and candied fruit has been placed on all of your tables… do feel free to avail yourself of those refreshments… or have a wonderful time on the dancefloor. Either way… the night is ours… let us enjoy it!”