I didn't want her to think those things.

  Her hands were shaking and the world spiraled around us like we were being flushed down the drain. We were sewage, a waste of space in terms of the grand scheme of things.

  Was another man's trash really another man's treasure?

  I didn't understand why she didn't think she was good enough as a human being.

  I didn't understand why she punished herself, thinking she was never enough to compare.

  I didn't understand why she didn't view herself as human, because I saw my best friend for her humanity.

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  Sometimes I think back to this. How I could have prevented it. How horrible it must have been, seeing someone you cherished so deeply rise from the grasp of the underworld, only for yourself to be shoved in. Did I treat her like a doormat? Did I treat her like a stepping-stool, no longer of purpose?

  I saw her positives and negatives.

  I saw her sorrow, rage, and kindness.

  I saw what made her something to me slowly disappear.

  My best friend was my savior.

  She made the pain of being left, ostracized and ridiculed fade like the cuts and scars now on her wrists

  She uplifted me by not just giving reason with society but also with my life.

  However, the tides have changed, the voices give way to more reason, and we are slowly diverging into two paths.

  I'm tired of her being tired, so tired for her mind constantly berating her.

  I'm tired of her saying that she isn't good enough to be considered human, refusing help, guidance, and worry.

  She no longer says these things, but the signs never stop pointing.