Sometimes in life an ingredient falls off a bumped shelf and into your pan. The plan changes and you either have to start over or incorporate a quarter jar of raspberry jam into your caramel sauce.

  Some may wish to know if raspberry jam pairs well with bechamel sauce. It does not.

  Others may wish to know why I keep my fruit preserve shelf so close to the hotplate, and why I haven't moved it. Well, it is near the stove because the cart is small. Also I do like to substitute fruit preserves for basic sugars in quite a few recipes. That’s why the shelf also has jars of honey, and agave nectar. Also all the jars now have Velcro on them. Even the jar of raspberry jam. Especially the jar of raspberry jam.

  This unwelcome tablespoon of fruit preserve in my cheese sauce, was pointing those ninja knives with the circle in the hilt at my basket of pastries. The young man had spiky black hair, and random bandages on his arms and legs. Of course in Konoha that is about as descriptive as saying “He look a like a Man.” That's a 90’s joke kids, look it up.

  “Why are you here?” He spoke doing what I'm sure what his best attempt at a gravelly batman intimidation voice.

  I may not always respond well to having knives pointed at me. It is more than fair that my inner jackass tends to take over when dealing with irrational hostility. So I channeled my best imitation of Chandler Bing and replied. “This basket is filled with food. That house is filled with presumably hungry kids. So I obviously was going to knock on the door and just eat it in front of their hungry little faces.”

  The ninja’s face shattered into a horrified jaw drop before reforming into an even deeper scowl. “You are truly a despicable.. “ The man pulled another knife out of one of the arm bandage knife holder things.

  “Easy there, Mr. Points knives at food delivery people, I was just going to give the food to the kids. You know, like any decent person would.”

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  “No, your not”

  “What is there some law here that says don’t feed the orphans?”

  “I cant let you deliver that food its poison.”

  “It very well is not. If you are just trying to get a sample and steal a pastry out of the mouths…”

  A knife flew through the air and landed on a wooden sign next to the door. A very large, brightly colored wooden sign. A sign with a picture of a nut on it, and an X. The x was over the nut. This house had someone in it with a nut allergy.

  “I can smell the nuts in those pastries. If you deliver them, those children will be happy for a moment and then dead. You will not deliver them.”

  “Well, I did not know that. You could have just said something. You overly dramatic jumping bean of a man.”

  “My nephews live here until I can get the money to provide a home for them.”

  “Looks like there is a heart under all that spiky hair and pile of knives. Relax, I’ll bake a new batch tomorrow with no nuts. It is already late enough that the kids will be in bed soon anyway.

  Why don’t you come by about late afternoon and help me prepare some treats that are safe for all of the kids in that orphanage?”

  “Where do you want to meet?”

  “If you're such a great ninja I won’t have to tell you.” I hand him the basket of nutty snacks. “Why don’t you help me find someone who can appreciate these and deliver them for me? Consider it a mission, the payment is a large bag of popcorn.”

  The ninja vanished. The basket was gone as well. The little faces watching from the tiny windows of the orphanage were staring at me. I turned around and walked back, defeated but with my proud head held high.

  Then a water balloon hit that head and exploded, it was filled with paint.

  “He said he was going to eat food in front of hungry kids! Take that Old Man, Dattebayo!"