Memories Of A Monster: What Is Honor?

  --- Booker H. Freeman ---

  He paced back and forth under the moonlight, half-rotted wood clacking under boot with every step. Every spin of his heels oscillating him from staring into a moonlit abyss of the night, and the lantern-lit construct of man’s attempt at taming nature.

  One the natural order and one an attempt to become something greater. The battle of man and beast that he’d slowly come to recognize as part of the duality of man, one that he’d already made a decision towards.

  Perhaps that’s why the current question spun away in his mind, one answer simply leading to another question, the question of, “What is honor?”

  The sound behind him stilled as his words shattered the natural ambiance of the world around him, everything going so very quiet. Almost unnaturally so.

  “By the dictionary’s definition of the word: Honor. Noun; To hold in high esteem. His portrait is held in a place of honor. Or perhaps: Verb; To regard with great respect. To honor one’s mother…”

  He briefly wondered if his mother might be proud of what he was doing… (No, she’d be so terribly disappointed in me… There’s no point in lying about that, to do so would dishonor us both.)

  Despite himself a faint smile cracked across his face, a faint chuckle at what little comedy he could find in that dark truth. A slight slipping of sanity that allowed him to do the insane things that he had to.

  He took a deep breath and let it out, part of him beginning to revel in these… theatrics. A distraction of sorts, a slight stalling of what he knew needed doing. “There are of course other definitions of honor, both literally and philosophically. To adhere to a code of conduct, to fulfill an agreement or obligation… or perhaps honor is simply the lie that we tell ourselves so we can continue looking at ourselves in the mirror?”

  What he was doing here tonight… it felt like all three of those definitions applied in one way or another.

  The world was still silent, the sound of water swaying, its faint ripples and waves against the shore, the only sound as he stared up at the moon hanging up above. The celestial body staring down from the heavens, a witness to all the sins of humanity past and present.

  Unfortunately, his only witness to these events was not something that would offer him any answer to his great question this evening. Be it one that would soothe his soul or condemn it.

  “You know people told me you were an honorable one… I can’t say I see it.” So instead he turned to his mutual performer in this little show, a pale man with dark hair and frumpled suit of the finest quality, bound in ropes, mouth gagged, and eyes so very terrified.

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  He reached into the pocket of his own suit and removed a golden star badge that reflected the lantern’s light, a slight flare as if it were a real star.“They say that you’re an honorable law man, bringing ne’er-do-wells and other ruffians to justice. Protecting women and children as you face the lawlessness of the gangs trying to overtake our fair city.”

  A scoffing sound escaped him before he could stop himself, not that he would’ve if he could’ve. “Of course there are… caveats to that honor, that protection…” He crouched down to the officer’s eye level and not so gently tapped the corner of the metal to the man’s face. “Such as the skin of those women and children…” A faint trail of red formed from the badge’s point.

  “You took an oath to uphold the law, and yet you let so many terrible men do whatever they want just so long as they do it to the ‘right’ people. All the while the ‘right’ people praise and applaud you uncaring -or perhaps even applauding- the white hoods their law man wears when he and his friends ride at night.” He stood once more eyes on the badge in his hand, something many would say was an honor to wear upon your person. “Tell me, do you know the names of the people you’ve harmed? Did you bother to learn them, or just follow the rest of your pack of rabid dogs as they tore into the innocent rabbits hiding away in their burrows?”

  The bound lawman didn’t say anything, whether because of the gag in his mouth or the fact that he didn’t know, Booker found he didn’t care.

  “Johanna, Elijah, Mary, and Jacob. The Freeman family…” That name -his name- was practically a death marker in some ways, because while they weren’t kin by blood or any such thing, their family had been slaves freed much like his own had been. (Something certain folk don’t much care for…)

  He met the lawman’s eyes as he held the badge up. “I wonder if you were wearing this… this badge of honor as you did what you did to those poor folk…?” He let the worthless hunk of metal fall into the bayou muck.

  “I’m sure as a lawman you understand that I can’t let a bad man simply go free.” He sighed as if he didn’t have the choice to simply put his head in the dirt and ignore all the bad things going on around him. (Because I can’t.)

  “It would be dishonorable to do so.” He chuckled, feeling his sanity slip a bit more as he drew his knife and smiled down at the lawman. “But don’t worry… unlike you who held those poor souls down, five to one… Made them watch as you did such wretched things to their loved ones… I’m going to give you a sporting chance to get away.”

  He grabbed the man by his throat, dragging him to the edge of the makeshift dock Booker had made before cutting the ropes bit by bit as he held the man over the bayou. Being sure to nick and stab just enough all over for the man to bleed before letting him go fall back into the muck like all of the other swamp rats before him.

  The lawman splashed and fought against the remainder of his ropes, fighting to keep his head above water, and breathe around the wet rope still gagging him.

  An effort that gave Booker plenty of time to check his watch before picking up his gun and aiming it down at the lawman that had finally managed to stabilize himself on the water’s surface, at which point Booker informed him that, “The city is five miles west of here. I suggest you get moving before the swamp takes you… or don’t. I don’t really care.”

  He’d actually prefer the swamp to kill the man, but he was prepared to do what he had to if it didn’t.

  After all, much like the false lawman currently trying to swim to shore, it was his duty to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. To avenge them and make sure their monsters would hurt no one else… even if it meant he was just as much of a monster as them. Meant that he would become something far worse than any of them in pursuit of a lie he continued to tell himself.

  For what is honor in a world without justice?

  New Perk Unlocked:

  -Honorbound: Whenever a non-enemy is targeted, Booker can spend [Sanity] to [Protect] them. He can then pay this cost again to perform a [Counter].

  A/N: Now then normally now that we’ve done all of our memories the next chapter would be us checking in with our Contracts, but said contract will give us enough XP to level up Envy again. So unlike last episode where you had to wait until the end to level up Envy I’m going to make you guys an offer.

  I will level up Envy immediately, give you the perk, stat boost and everything for this coming Episode, if you let me pick the memory we unlock.

  So what do you say, will you take this sinner’s hand?