Maeryn spent the next half-hour lecturing them about the mechanics of fire, and how it generated heat via exothermic chemical reactions, breaking down the material it consumed. “For humans, your body naturally generates heat during digestion,” she continued. “It’s the reason why you feel warm and bloated after overeating. For you, Ooble, I expect you’ve experienced something similar, just to a lesser extent.”
The dragonkin nodded along. “You told me before that humans eat more than dragonkin do, as you are ‘warm-blooded’ and rely more on internal heat generation, rather than external heat sources like my people.”
“Yes, but I suspect that this next part applies to humans and dragonkin equally.” Maeryn tapped on the chalkboard, where she’d drawn out a sketch of the human body while lecturing. “The other main method we generate heat is through movement. Muscle contraction naturally builds heat via the consumption of the raw materials our body takes from the food we eat, and the oxygen we breathe. Simply by moving, we are burning. Just on a scale so small you can’t feel it, most of the time. In a sense, our bodies are always at least a little on fire.”
“So the insides of our muscles are like inefficient steam engines?” Frankie asked. “Heat’s a waste byproduct, isn’t it?”
“Yep, exactly,” Maeryn confirmed. “The heat we generate bleeds off into the air all the time. Just like a steam engine with thin pipes and incomplete insulation.”
Veronica folded her arms, cocking her head to the side. “Alright. I think I understand what you’re saying. But how does this relate back to magic?”
Maeryn pointed at her. “Elemental magic is all about metaphor and similarity, but there’s an underlying requirement of knowledge, too. If I want to cast a Fireball, I need to know exactly how fire of a similar size acts in normal, non-magical circumstances. Likewise, to warm your body magically, you need to know how your body normally generates heat. That gives you a pattern to build off of.”
She gestured towards herself. “And a pattern that is literally embedded in your body, in your muscles and arteries and veins? Easiest thing in the world. All you have to do is cycle your mana through you, focusing on the idea of Heat and remembering how your body already does what you’re asking for. You just want more warmth.”
“And this works with any kind of magic?” Ernesto asked.
“Almost. There are a couple of exceptions,” Maeryn admitted. “Naturally, this is most cost-efficient if you are currently aligned with fire, but almost every other element should work as well. Water, air, earth can all be warm. Necro, however, is largely antithetical to fire, and ice completely so. This spell will fail utterly if you are currently using them. But I expect holy to be almost as easy as fire.”
She took a deep breath and straightened her back. “Are there any questions?”
“Yeah, actually,” Peter said. “If elemental magic has a knowledge requirement, how does holy magic even work? It’s not like you can find holy things out in nature to pattern off of.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Dan interjected. “It’s still about patterns. Necro and holy are just focused less on physical phenomena, and more on metaphysical patterns.”
Maeryn nodded. “Necromancy is magic that seeks the end of all things. Its Cold concept ends heat, for example. You can find it in the chill of horror, or the discomforting cold and quiet of despair.”
“Holy magic follows the opposite metaphysical patterns,” Ernesto added. “The spiritual Warmth of holy magic can be found anywhere you find fulfillment. Emotional experiences may not be strictly tangible, but that doesn’t make them less real.”
“Experiencing these patterns, understanding them, is the key requirement to attuning to a given element,” Maeryn told Peter frankly. “Well, assuming you’re not naturally aligned, anyway. I’ve been going on and on about Heat, but that’s just one of the five concepts associated with fire. That said…” She shifted her gaze to address everyone in the room. “You should have a basic understanding of Heat by now.”
“That was basic?” Veronica whispered disbelievingly. “I feel like I just attended a lecture that spanned the physics of fire, human biology, and spiritual philosophy.”
“Welcome to fire magic,” Maeryn told her dryly. “But yes, that was basic. I could go into detail about heat conduction across different materials, if you like. Perhaps a lesson on how applying pressure increases the amount of heat generated?”
“No, no, this is fine!” the cartographer hurriedly reassured her.
Dan patted her on the shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, this was a useful refresher for me, and I’m an alchemist. It’s literally my job to know this stuff. But the fact is, Maeryn’s just better at fire than I am.”
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Ernesto was the first one to get the spell after only a few minutes. “Oh! Oh, wow, that is warm. You were right, Captain, there’s a lot of crossover with holy’s Warmth concept.”
Ooble got it about ten minutes later, after getting up and jogging in place for a bit to get a better feel for how his muscles generated heat. “Oh, that’s quite nice,” he breathed, slumping down into his chair. “A thousand thanks, Captain Maeryn. It was a bit costly, mana-wise, but given the choice between mana and life, the answer is clear.”
That left Frankie, Veronica and Peter. The mapmaker managed it after another minute of coaching from Maeryn, and she nodded gratefully at the hunter.
“I’m stuck,” Frankie admitted. “I don’t even know what my mana’s supposed to feel like. It’s like asking you to feel your pancreas.”
“Same,” Peter agreed.
“Yeah, I expected this might be a problem for you,” Maeryn said with a sigh. “Most people are completely mana-blind until the first time they really experience it. I’ll need to get to you one at a time. Frankie, sit down cross-legged across from me, and give me your hands.”
Her friend did as she was told without a single noise of complaint, and soon they were sitting facing each other, fingers interlaced.
“I’ve never seen a mana awakening before,” Dan breathed. “Everybody shut the abyss up, I need to see this.”
“Ignore them,” Maeryn told Frankie calmly, purposely keeping her breathing and pitch even. “Breathe with me. In for two, out for three. Calm your mind as much as you can. Do you trust me?”
“With my life,” Frankie whispered.
“Good. Breathe.”
They inhaled together, and released together.
“I’m going to slowly push my unaligned mana into your body,” Maeryn told her. “It’s the only way to prevent my own elements from hurting you in the process. But it will not be unaligned for long. Your body and spirit will automatically try to convert it to your own nature, and gather it into your chest. A bit lower than your heart and lungs, if it helps.”
“Okay? That doesn’t sound so bad…”
“I’ll be forcing your body to take in mana when you’re already full. It will be uncomfortable. And then it will hurt. And then it will be excruciating.”
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Frankie’s hands tensed, gripping her friend’s tightly.
“But no matter what, you must not let go.” Maeryn looked her in the eyes. “If you do, I will lose connection, and your body will try to expel the mana out of your skin, in whatever your element is. Water would be easiest on you, since our bodies are designed to sweat. But if it’s wind, it could cut. If it’s earth, you could be literally squeezing pebbles out for days. Fire?”
She shook her head. “Blisters. Really bad ones. And I don’t even want to think about what would happen if your natural element is necro. So I have to ask: are you sure you want me to try? There’s no shame in saying no. I promise.”
Frankie took a deep breath. She looked at Peter. At Dan. At everyone else, and then back to Maeryn. “Will it help?” she asked uncertainly.
“Learning how to keep yourself warm, in the Glacial Expanse? It could save your life. But you’ll have everyone else next to you, too,” Maeryn reminded. “You do not have to do this. But in the end, it is your decision, and yours alone.”
“I…” Frankie closed her eyes. Maeryn waited as her friend deliberated.
After two solid minutes, the engineer breathed out slowly. “I want you to do it,” she said quietly, but firmly. “It’ll hurt, but no matter what element I get, it means I’m a little less helpless. And maybe if I’m lucky, it’ll be useful in what I do.”
Now it was Maeryn’s turn to steady her emotions. “Okay. Match your breathing with mine. Again, in for two, out for three. Try to stay relaxed.”
She noticed, out of the corner of her awareness, Dan literally holding his breath. The others weren’t far behind, breathing shallowly and watching them with intent. But Maeryn couldn’t focus on that. She flicked the mental switch she’d learned years ago, to distance who she was away from her mana, and felt the magic within lose its necromantic alignment. Felt it become malleable, full of potential.
Maeryn drew a strand to her left palm, and tried to push it into Frankie’s hand, only to encounter resistance. “Relax,” she soothed. “I need you to be calm for this. The calmer you are, the less painful this will be.”
“That doesn’t really help with the relaxing, Rin.” But despite Frankie’s words, the hunter felt her friend’s grip loosen, and the resistance slackened.
Maeryn silently counted to three, and then threaded a needle of mana into Frankie’s hand as gently as she could. The engineer flinched, but kept her hand interlocked with Maeryn’s. “W-What? What’s that?”
“That’s mana.”
“It feels weird. Like something’s stuck in my hand.”
“That’s because it is. Keep breathing. Now hush; I need to focus.” Maeryn closed her eyes, pushing forward with her mana, piercing deeper into her best friend’s body, searching… there. Frankie’s mana channels, hidden in the shadow of her arteries. Well, shadow was the wrong word, really. The channels didn’t exactly exist on the physical plane. Dissecting a cadaver revealed nothing there, and yet the channels definitely existed on some level of reality. Just, maybe not one the alchemists had cracked.
The best potential explanation Maeryn had heard was that the mana channels existed at the intersections between the soul and the body. But she also knew thanks to her training in necromancy that her soul was tied to her body in her brain, so that didn’t quite line up either. Or maybe it did, but just not in a way she understood. It didn’t matter.
In any case, mana could only be sensed with mana. And finding the underside of reality where the channels existed could only be done by someone who knew where to look. Maeryn slowly inserted her mana needle into Frankie’s mana system, and felt it immediately get tugged forward.
Frankie doubled over instantly, gasping for air. “R-Rin?” she asked weakly.
“Halfway done. Try to breathe.” Maeryn’s needle, connected back to her via a thread of mana, shot forward, rushing up through the engineer’s arm, into her chest in dizzying loops, before settling in a spot behind her sternum. Then she felt it, and her breath hitched. The spark. The light of passion. Frankie was fire-aligned. Just like her.
For an infinitesimally small moment, Maeryn wanted to rip the spark out of her friend and hoard it close, use it to relight her own fire. She knew, in that instant, that she could do it. That it would work. Frankie wasn’t even a caster. She wouldn’t miss the loss of fire magic… Except it was more than that. Stealing that spark would wreck her spiritually. It would push her into the same abyss Maeryn was in.
For a split second, Maeryn saw it. The image of Frankie wearing the same face Maeryn saw in the mirror every morning, bearing the same existential exhaustion, losing the energy to enjoy the world and follow her dreams…
No! She recoiled from it instinctively, her fingers squeezing around Frankie’s a little too hard, judging by her whimper. “Sorry,” she whispered, pushing the selfish desire away while a nugget of shame for being tempted at all sank behind her stomach. Instead, she coaxed her friend’s fire to burn bright and loud.
Frankie let out a sob of pain, and her hands clenched tightly around Maeryn’s as she sought any kind of stability from what had to be overwhelming agony. “Almost done,” the hunter promised, trying her absolute best to keep her voice steady. “I have to go back out the other side. Try to pay attention to where the burn is.”
It took a few moments of effort, but she managed to send her needle and thread back outwards, through Frankie’s other arm, and into Maeryn’s own palm. The moment she had that connection, she cut off the thread from her left arm, and sucked her mana back through her right, until all Frankie had left was her own, natural mana. The moment it was done, the engineer let go, gasping, tears streaming down her face. “That. Abyssing. Sucked. Rin.”
“I know,” Maeryn admitted softly. “I’m sorry.”
“Did you at least get a good look? What element am I?” Frankie demanded, wiping her eyes.
Maeryn looked down, trying not to think about just how tempted she’d been to steal her best friend’s fire. “You should be able to tell for yourself now. Close your eyes, and remember how it felt to have mana moving in your chest. Touch it. Imagine holding it in your hand, and tell me what you feel.”
The pilot’s eyes fluttered closed, and after several seconds, Maeryn felt a dull ache in her chest where her fire used to live. Mana resonance. She almost wanted to cry. How cruel was that? She could feel when other people burned, but she couldn’t do it herself?
“It’s… it’s fire,” Frankie breathed. “It’s like… it’s like I always knew it would be, somehow.”
Maeryn nodded, ignoring the sharp inhales from her watching crew. “It makes sense. Your engineering mania, your constant drive to improve the things you make, to push the limits of what’s possible… Of course your element is fire. Congratulations, Frankie.”
Her friend bit her lip. “I… I’m sorry.”
Maeryn shook her head sharply. “Don’t be. I’m glad for you. Honestly. Now, up you get. I still need to do Peter.” She glanced up at him. “Assuming you still want to do it, of course. You saw how much it hurt Frankie.”
Peter’s face was set to a mask of resolve, though fear still flickered in his eyes. “I’m doing it,” he said stoically.
Frankie looked up at her boyfriend, then back at Maeryn, and visibly swallowed whatever she wanted to say. “Okay,” she whispered, getting to her feet and retreating towards the others.
Peter intercepted her with a hug, which she returned with fervor. Neither said anything for a long moment, before they slowly let go, and Peter took his place where Frankie had sat.
Five minutes later, Maeryn finished awakening Peter’s mana, trying to ignore how wretched his pained whimpers sounded. She wasn’t very successful. “It’s done.”
“I… I know,” Peter gasped, slowly unclenching his fingers away from Maeryn’s. She discreetly pulled them into her lap and stretched them. Between Frankie and Peter both trying their best to crush her fingers in their pain, they ached fiercely.
Maeryn was about to remind him to look into his center and feel what element he was, when Peter let out a sharp exhale of surprise. “Water. I have water magic.”
Frankie rushed forward and pulled him into a hug. “Of course you do. That makes perfect sense.”
“Congratulations, Peter,” Maeryn told him sincerely as she got to her feet. Part of her was bitter that she’d been exposed to both of the elements that caused her the most heartache lately, but she tried not to focus on that. “You and Frankie should practice casting Warm Self for a bit. Get used to the feeling of using magic.”
They nodded at her, stepping away to do that. Which seemed to be the cue for everyone else to come back and crowd her. “Are you okay, Maeryn?” Dan asked unsurely.
“No,” she admitted softly. “But I’ll be fine. I just…”
“Just…?” Veronica repeated when Maeryn trailed off.
The ex-fire mage shook her head, emotionally exhausted and completely done with being interrogated about her feelings. “I want to be alone for a while. You all know what needs to happen. I’ll come back out when we land, to help hide Stonewing. But until then, leave me alone.”
Without waiting for a response, she went back to her room and closed the door behind her, sitting on her bed. Maeryn took a deep breath, and focused her thoughts on the concepts of earth. Delving into the mindset of stoic support. As her mana aligned with earth magic, Maeryn called up the idea of Heat and cast Warm Self.
It took more effort than she was used to. But as her body grew toasty, the walls she’d set between herself and her grief crumbled.
Tears streamed down her face as she allowed her emotions to crash over her. She could have had it back. She could have had her fire back. She could have been whole again.
But she didn’t dare make a sound. Not when the others were still close enough to hear. So she strangled every sob that threatened to emerge from her throat.
And in silent grief, she wept for what she had lost.
