The pleasant smell of honey milk tea wasn't helping anyone at this table, but it didn't stop us from pretending it did.

  I sipped my tea slowly, wearing a relaxed smile on my face. Across from me sat Lady Klemen, and to the right sat Aalackai.

  If we had gotten here sooner, I would've chosen to sit next to Lady Klemen and not Lilas, but here we are all sitting together in the tea room.

  "Aalackai, dear, please open the letter now that we all are here." Lady Klemen urged Aalackai with a pleading smile, "I'm sure it's important news."

  "Your mom is right, Kai, hurry and open it," Lilas said with a refreshing smile, but the smile didn't reach his eyes, and I knew the one plastered on my face didn't either.

  Glancing at Aalackai, I saw him unmoving with the letter flushed in his hand.

  "Dear, are you already? Do you feel ill?"

  "No, I am fine. Here." Aalackai passed the letter to his mother, "You open it."

  "Are you sure?"

  Gods, this is never going to end.

  "Lady Klemen, please don't keep us in suspense. Open the letter," I said, smiling, but even to my own ears my tone sounded off. I sound annoyed.

  Lilas glanced at me before he inched closer to me. He placed his cool hand on my thigh.

  His closeness, his touch, felt like betrayal all at once.

  He betrayed me, and so did my body.

  What was once an innocent comforting touch made my body spiral into flaming waves. I felt my vile clawing up my throat, trying to rip its way out.

  I hated this feeling of wanting to pull closer. The helplessness of wanting more of his touch. The need and want to burrow beneath his skin.

  I would claw inside of him and never leave.

  It's those types of thoughts that make me feel like I'm slowly descending into madness.

  I wish it would stop.

  "Kitayana, dear here...since you seem so eager," Lady Klemen slid the letter to me, and without a second thought, I ripped it open without any care in the world.

  As I read the words on the letter, my blood ran cold.

  I forgot that I agreed to this yesterday. With everything that happened last night, this was the last thing on my mind. I thought the LAYC would take months to approve us. I shouldn't have let Lilas talk me into agreeing to a training pack with him and Aalackai.

  This is going to be a nightmare.

  Maybe I can get out of this?

  "Kitayana, dear? What does it say? Is it good news?"

  It took me a solid good second to respond, "I'm so excited! Look, guys, we got approved for our TTP!" I shoved the paper into Lilas' face, "The letter said that they already got our house ready. It even mentions that we can start as soon as today."

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  "That's great news for you 3," Lady Klemen clapped excitedly, "We must make haste with our preparations. I'll send word for both of your houses."

  "There's no need. My lady, I've made preparations for this day months ago. All we need is for each other for the last part of our prep." Lilas said smoothly with a grinning smile.

  I glanced over at Aalackai as he sat next to his mother, unmoving.

  He must think Lilas and me are monsters for being able to keep up the charade. I would be scared too, looking from the outside in.

  I doubt he wants to live with us for a month.

  I sure as hell wouldn't.

  Even if I wanted to get out of this... I can't. It's already official. If I don't do it now, the LAYC will step in and choose my pack mates.

  Let's be rational. It's better to get things over with and have it be with them.

  The two of them already know...What I am.

  It's not like anything else can get worse.

  "Bathroom," Aalackai said as he stood up quickly from the table.

  "Oh my. I hope the tea didn't upset his stomach. That boy always hated drinking tea. I wonder why he started drinking it when he hates it so much." Lady Klemen commented. She shook her head at the thought, "Well, dears. I'll let the two of you talk. I'm sure the two of you have many things to go over." Gracefully, she walked outside the room as she did. I waited for the door to close behind her.

  When I heard the door click shut. I stood up from the seat. Lilas looked up at me from where he still sat and began to speak.

  "We need to talk."

  "We do."

  "Are we going to?"

  "We should."

  "Do you want to?

  I faced him. His soft, honey brown eye looked up at me with a pleading expression. His soft dark brown curls were tossed perfectly framing his angelic face. When I didn't respond, his jaw clenched, which caused his pleading expression to morph into a frustrated one.

  In all the time we've known each other, he's never looked so tragically dejected.

  "I'm sorry," He said, "I shouldn't have done what I did. I thought...it was the only way to move forward." He paused for a bit before he stood up to stand in front of me, "Kitayana, please don't hate me..." He whispered quickly.

  He had a glassy look in his eye.

  "Why shouldn't I hate? You've given me a good reason, too. I would have never done that to you. You knew how much that meant to me. I know how much it means to you." I glared at him, and he looked at me with regret.

  "If I wanted to, I could do what you did to me."

  "You could."

  "But you know and I know that's not the type of person I am."

  We stood there in silence, neither of us saying a word.

  After a while, he reached out his hand to tuck my hair behind my ear, but I pulled away. I hugged myself and looked anywhere but at him.

  "Tell me why you did it. Why do you think it's the only way to move forward?"

  He stilled at my words, and he tried to don an emotionless expression.

  "I...it...I don't think you're ready for the truth..."He sounded flustered.

  "What truth? Tell me the real reason why you did this to me!"

  "I don't even know if Aalackai can accept this..." He whispered.

  "Tell me."

  He was quiet.

  "Tell me!"

  "Fine, fuck...you promised you wouldn't get mad?" He ran his hands through his hair, "There's no way you're not going to get mad," He said to himself, "My reasons are going to sound so fucking selfish." He started to pace around the room.

  In all my years knowing him, I've never seen him spiral.

  This is so unnerving.

  "Lilas, calm down. I promise...I won't get mad."

  Why am I the one comforting him? It should be the other way around!

  "You're just saying that. You're going to hate me for sure. You're going to stop talking to me. You're going to tell Aalackai, and then he'll hate me even more. He is going to think I am a weirdo. Both of you are! Neither of you is going to want anything to do with me. Maybe I can erase this whole apology thing...this way you can be angry but still a part of my life."

  "You sound like a madman."

  "Maybe because I AM!"

  Taking a deep breath, I start to walk towards the door.

  I can't do this.

  But before I could leave the tea room, Lilas blurted out, "I like both you and Aalackai, and I want us all to be together."

  I quickly turned around to see him crouching on the ground with his head between his knees and his ear flaming red.

  "You...outed me because you like me...?"

  "And Aalackai..." He muttered, "I actually more than like both of you."

  "Lilas, stand up and look at me."

  "I'd rather die."

  "Stand up or... I'll tell Aalackai."

  He immediately stood up, face flaming red.

  "You outed me because you like me? Is that correct?"

  "When you put it that way..."

  "Am I correct?"

  "Yes..."

  "This was your bright way of moving us forward?"

  "Yes..."

  "Are you actually stupid?"

  "Yes."

  "I don't know if I should forgive you or kill you."

  "Both?"

  "Are you serious?

  "Yes."

  I give him a once-over before shaking my head and leaving the room.