Calista still wanted to hang out, so she invited me over to her place. I went, careful to keep my wits about me. However, they vanished when she greeted me with that smile. It was a real chore finding them again.

  Keep it chill, I reminded myself.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask,” I said as I took a seat on her couch. “Have you noticed more demons around? Seems like at every store all the employees are demons. Used to be humans.”

  “Yeah, I think Hell owns them?” she said, not too into the conversation. “They started buying real estate on Earth years ago.”

  “So, what, they can just go wherever?”

  “Oh, no,” she said. “Most demons have to stay on the property Hell owns. They probably own the store or something.”

  “Then how are you here?” I asked.

  Her mood seemed to sour. She let out a sigh and said, “I’m a different kind of demon. I don’t have to follow most of the rules. I’m, quote, ‘a Vessel of Temptation.’ At least, that’s what they tell me.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I’m supposed to lure men into bed. That they deserve what’s coming to them. I hate it, so it’s also a form of punishment for me, I guess.”

  “I’m sorry. That sucks.” I wasn’t sure what to say, but that seemed like the right thing to say.

  “Yeah, it does. Most demons don’t even want to be near me. They don’t really like me much. The whole ‘free to roam’ thing.”

  “You don’t have any succubus friends?”

  “Nope,” she said, a distance in her voice. “Most of them like what they do. Or, at least they pretend to. I’ve yet to meet any that have a problem with it.” She shrugged, then got suddenly excited.

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  “That reminds me,” she said. “I’ve got something for you! Don’t go anywhere.”

  She ran to her room, and a lump started to form in my throat. That was it. She figured out a way to seduce me, and now she’s gonna suck my soul out of my penis.

  Dang, last time. Promise.

  As I sat there, more nervous by the second, I wondered if I’d made a mistake moving into that trailer park. My life wasn’t great before, but it was simple. Predictable. Well, to a point.

  That wasn’t the case anymore.

  “Here,” Calista said, coming out holding a new bat diorama. It was two bats sitting on a couch that resembled hers, and one of the bats had little horns.

  “Is this us?” I asked as I turned it around in my hands.

  “Yeah, well, I saw you admiring them last time you came over, so…” She looked nervous. It’s a strange feeling, making a demon feel nervous.

  “I love it,” I said. “I don’t know if I deserve a gift, though.”

  “You do,” Calista said, sitting beside me.

  “What did I do? We just talked.”

  “Exactly.” She looked sad as she spoke. “I get talked at all the time, but you talked to me. It was a nice feeling.”

  “So, you really can’t turn off your powers?” I asked.

  “No,” she said, shaking her head. “Which means it’s just demons and ghosts and shit I can talk to like normal. But all they seem to want to talk about, if they even want to, is themselves—their plans, their deaths, their problems. Which is fine, but I’d like to do that too. Maybe even talk about other stuff. You treat me like a fully realized entity, with hopes and hobbies, fears and doubts. Not some vessel to test the mettle of men.”

  “Well, that’s because you are a fully realized entity,” I replied. I knew what it was like to feel alone, and how much better it feels not to feel that way. “I didn’t think it when I first met you, but you’ve been a great friend. Maybe my first real friend.”

  “What about Orson?” she asked. “He’s your friend.”

  “He’s growing on me, but we’ve never really talked. Not like you and I did. We just sort of joke around and live together. Maybe talk shit, but I feel like Orson wouldn’t care if I lived or died.”

  “Why would you say that?” she asked.

  “Because he’s told me as much a few times now.”

  “Oh, that’s just Orson,” she explained. “I can tell. He really likes you.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “I like him too. Funniest ghost I’ve met.”

  “Maybe you should try and open up to him,” she suggested. “I’ve honestly never seen him keep so close to anyone or anything. So, there’s something about you he likes.”

  It felt good to hear. And it would prove to be excellent advice. To think, the best friend I ever had was a demon. I still think about her.

  I hope she’s happy.

  It is the last time.