My imaginary crush is holding my hand.

  It doesn't really feel like anything, but the knowledge alone is enough to drive my heart crazy. I think it’s trying to break down my ribs so it can be a little closer to her and I can totally understand that desire.

  “I don’t think I ever saw you smile like that Mai. You look cute.”

  I would take that as a compliment, despite the obvious lie, but my facial muscles are no longer under my control so I can’t take credit for that. My entire body seems to be rebelling against me ever since she said ‘I love you too’. Even though it was my leadership that got us to this point, all my body parts would rather celebrate than follow my orders.

  “So what do you want to do now, Mai?”

  I want to look up how to enhance my imagination so that I could feel her touch. But what I want doesn’t matter, no part of my body is willing to do anything that might cause our hands to separate right now. But I’ve already used a lifetime's worth of talking energy today, so I don’t think I can bring myself to say I want to stay like this either.

  “I-i don’t k-know.”

  “Then let's try what I want to do first, and see if it’s okay for you.”

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  I don’t know what she wants to do, but as long she doesn’t pull her hand away I don’t think I’ll mind.

  “O-okay.”

  Looking at her like that, her face coming closer to mine, I think I misunderstood what she meant by what to do now. All I can see are her eyes right in front of me and I can tell our lips touched for a moment.

  “When you said you loved me, you meant it like this. right?”

  “Y-y-yes.”

  “Then why are you hiding under the blanket?”

  I felt like I couldn’t even think for a moment and somehow ended up like this before I knew what was happening. Maybe I was a turtle in a past life and this is some kind of lingering instinct. It would explain why I have such a hard time leaving my home to go anywhere, I’m too used to taking it with me.

  “I-i’m a t-turtle.”

  “The ninja kind or the regular kind?”

  I don’t think I’m cool enough or athletic enough to pass for a ninja turtle, so I’ll go with regular.

  “R-regular.”

  “I’m not really looking for a pet turtle though, so can you turn back into a human?”

  It’s hard to leave my blanket shell behind, and I can’t even tell what face I’m making anymore. I even ended up pulling away from her hand when I connected with my turtle heritage, that was such a mistake.

  “You are going to have to work on staying human when I kiss you, I’m not going to date a turtle. Or is that not what you want?”

  I don’t think I can find the proper words to tell her what I want, and I definitely wouldn’t be able to say them if I did. For now, the best I can do is let my hand find hers again, and I can only hope that it’s a good enough answer.