Remington wasn't unconscious for very long but when he woke he was back on the bed. He cringed cupping his face and began to cry as it hurt so much, and not just the throbbing pain in his face. He tried to stop because it was making his face hurt more and it took quite a while for him to calm down. He shifted painfully and realized Skyler and Demetri were both still in the room with him. They were quiet and patiently waiting for him to recover.

  “I need to see him. Will you take me to see him?” Remington said painfully.

  “Absolutely not!” Demetri snapped angrily. Remington cringed.

  “I couldn't just stop him. I couldn't just tell him no. You have no idea how much control he had, how powerful he was becoming! I still feel like he has some sort of control over me. As if he is looking over my shoulder, watching me. It's fucking with my head! I need to see him, I need to see that he is really dead!” Remington pleaded. Skyler and Demetri glanced at each other.

  “He is definitely dead, Remington.” Skyler tried to reassure him.

  “I HAVE TO SEE HIM MYSELF!” Remington shouted.

  “We will consider it.” Demetri said seriously.

  “I just needed someone to stop him, stop him without my help, because I couldn't do anything. I was helpless.” Remington was very emotional again. “I was so desperate for someone to help me, but everytime I was around any of you I just couldn't get you the message of how serious things were, of how dangerous the situation was, of how much I was suffering whenever I was alone with him!” Remington was crying again. “I'm not trying to make excuses! Everything that I did was just as much my fault as it was Vezaias's, but damnit I couldn't control anything! Not even myself!” Remington cried. He cringed in pain and cupped his face again.

  “I’m sorry that I failed you Rem.” Skyler said looking destroyed. “I knew something was wrong.”

  “Then why didn't you help me?!” Remington shouted then cringed again.

  “We didn't have any solid proof. We were being cautious." Demetri said seriously. Remington was quietly crying now. He couldn't argue their choices. It didn't even matter.

  “Rem, you should let Zex help you, he can give you something for pain.” Skyler insisted.

  “No! I don't want his fucking help!” Remington snapped. Skyler retracted. There was no way he could force Remington to accept medical care. “I will keep trying to recover anyone who is trapped as long as you continue to let me. I won't stop until everyone is free.” Remington said softly.

  “We appreciate you cooperating like this.” Demetri said. “I am just…….angry……and I'm sorry if I have been taking it out on you……I know you are not the one who took Maxwell away from me……I just I need him……..I feel like I'm burning alive without him…….I cannot stand it, every minute that he is gone……I am burning to death.” Demetri began to cry silently and then with the terrible energy of restless helplessness he began to pace back and forth.

  “I know Dem. I am trying to save him. I know how you feel, I want to help you. My heart breaks for you.” Remington said solemnly. “It's just….I don't know how. Lux told me he wouldn't even want to leave the place he was trapped. If you are trapped somewhere but in a place you are most comfortable then why would you ever want to leave? I mean you would have to change it to someplace that was absolutely intolerable to even realize that you are…..” Remington trailed off. It dawned on him suddenly. He nearly jumped to his feet.

  “I think I just realized what I need to do! Skyler! Come with me to see Lux!” Remington nearly shouted. Skyler was quickly in action taking Remington through a portal and to the door to the void and traveling as fast as possible to get to the terminal then activating the telescope so he could test out his idea. They zoomed towards the bedroom to find Lux but to Remington's surprise, Lux was not in the bedroom. He looked around in a panic. Why would he be gone? Where would he even go? He then noticed a wrinkled piece of paper on the desk. He quickly walked over to see it. It was a finished suicide letter labeled number 49. Remington quickly read it.

  #49

  Remington,

  I am writing this letter to you because in the very short time that I have known you I have really started to grow attached to you, which is unusual for me. You have helped me by showing me that I was stuck on the idea that I had to write the perfect suicide letter before I could kill myself. I tend to get stuck on things and I have a lot of trouble moving past them or seeing anything else beyond it. You were right, I was purposely finding flaws in my letter to stop myself from killing myself. I guess I was doing this because I was scared of dying. I know now that I cannot be afraid anymore so I do not care if this letter is perfect or not. I have to escape this life somehow. The mad scientist asked me why I wanted to be a zombie, I figured out the reason is because it would be for the same reason he has reanimated anyone else, because there was someone that loved me enough to want me back and I've never had that kind of love before. I didn't understand how it worked until now, but asking him to make me a zombie wouldn't mean that I had that kind of love at all. It would be just like a lot of things in my life, imaginary and not really there. Thank you for helping me work past this road block in my life. I can see now why Vezaias was so in love with you. I wish you luck in dealing with the half way built legacy that Vezaias was trying to make for you. I know it caused you a lot of suffering but he knew that you were strong enough to deal with the aftermath of his reign of terror. The person I saw earlier, the one you couldn't see; it was him telling me someday he would return to you. So be ready.

  Thanks for being my friend,

  because I am terrible

  at making friends on my own.

  Gratefully yours,

  Lux

  Remington shoved the letter in his pocket and ran out the bedroom door, then down the hallway. He wasn't sure where to find Lux, but he had only been to one other place in the delusional world, so that was the first place Remington ran to. Skyler was quick to follow him although he was very unsure of what was happening. Remington bursted through the kitchen door to find his fear was true. There was Lux, looking pale and lifeless, lying in a large puddle of his own blood that was still growing from the deep self-inflicted gash on his left wrist. There next to him was a very sharp bloody kitchen knife. Remington rushed over to him and lifted him up by the shoulders and tried to wake him. Skyler ran up looking horrified by the sight as he was immediately sick to his stomach.

  “Lux!!!” Remington sobbed. “LUX!!!” He screamed. Lux shifted softly and his eyes slid open. Remington looked relieved to see he was alive.

  “Remington…” He mumbled softly. “They told me that you care about me.” He whispered. He looked like he was fading away from consciousness. “Were they lying?”

  “No, they were telling the truth Lux! Please don't die! I don't want you to die!!!” Remington sobbed. Lux seemed to smile at this.

  “That means a lot, Remington. After Vezaias died I didn't think anyone else would care.” Lux mumbled. “See you around I guess.” Lux said almost at a whisper. His eyes began to roll back now and his body came to a complete rest aside from a few jerks and twitching.

  “No! No please! No! NO!!!” Remington screamed. Skyler had backed up into the wall and sunk to the floor and watched as Remington pulled Lux into his chest and screamed in agony. Suddenly the ground shook violently and it seemed as if Reality itself was thrashing around them then with a loud shatter the delusional world around them collapsed like a vase smashing against cement. Skyler looked frightened but realized they were now back in their real base. He couldn't concentrate on what to do about this as Remington's screaming and the blood was too debilitating for him and soon he was getting sick into a garbage can. Only a moment later a portal opened and Sigil stepped out he quickly approached Remington seeing the new person he had only just met at the briefing, slumped into his arms. Sigil jumped into action, finding some hope that Zexich may be able to save him still, he reached to take Lux from Remington's arms and take him to Zexich.

  “Wait! What are you doing?!” Remington screeched in fear.

  “He is still alive!” Sigil shouted as he pulled Lux into his arms quickly but as carefully as he could. “There is still a chance to save him!” Sigil said taking Lux through a portal. Remington jumped to his feet and quickly followed. Sigil found Zexich waiting for him as he was already aware Sigil had left to investigate the extreme emotions he had sensed.

  “He will need the last resort!” Sigil told Zexich as soon as he arrived in the infirmary. Zexich nodded and quickly followed him to the laboratory followed afterwards by Remington who did not want to leave Lux's side. It would be a few hours before things in the laboratory had settled down. Zexich finished the first step and took a moment away from his work looking very serious. Remington stood in a daze and was hardly even coherent. A portal opened and Demetri entered the room to assess the situation. He found Remington standing not far from the cooling table that held the most recent dead body.

  Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  “What happened Remington, did you kill Lux?” Demetri needed to know. Remington didn't seem to hear him. Demetri grabbed him and shook him by the shoulders. “Answer me!” Demetri demanded.

  “He was my friend.” Remington said softly.

  “And we all know what you do to people you consider your friends!” Demetri shouted at him and clutched him by the chest and shook him in anger.

  “He did not do this to Lux. This was quite obviously a self-inflicted death.” Zexich intercepted Demetri from hurting Remington. Demetri let go of Remington quickly and retracted.

  “But why would he kill himself?” Demetri said. “Do you know?” Demetri urged for more information.

  “Huh….He never gave me a very good reason for it.” Remington explained. Demetri looked very serious and contemplated the situation.

  “Where is Sky?” Demetri asked.

  “He was too overcome by the blood to follow. He is in the kitchen.” Sigil answered.

  “Keep an eye on Remington.” Demetri said then he left quickly.

  Remington sank down to the ground and cried for a while then eventually lost consciousness from being overwhelmed by everything. He found himself in the void and looked around while still a bit overwhelmed. He wandered rather incoherently over to the terminal and looked down. Oddly enough there was a new button he had never seen before that said 'Mission'. He was very unsure of what it was so he pressed it. A small screen appeared with information blinking on it.

  Mission #1 Accomplished.

  Mission #2: Unlocked

  Objective: Recreate Subject

  Mission #3: Locked

  Mission #4: Locked

  Remington looked bewildered. He pressed the button again and the screen disappeared. He was deep in contemplation now. Recreate subject must be referring to Lux. This was already possible as Zexich had begun the process, but would the group agree to proceed with this? If they decided against it, there may not be anything that he could do about it. Next he wondered what missions 3 and 4 were and where these missions were coming from. Remington fell into turmoil over this now.

  “Zay……is that you? Are you still there somewhere? Or are you really dead? Can you hear me? Or am I just wishful thinking? If you really are there…….please………..let me know somehow……..give me a sign………….I miss you so much………….I'm suffocating again………please Zay………come back to me………I can't live without you……..” Remington was sobbing now. Just then there was a click and a very large screen dropped down from above. Remington was startled and quickly got to his feet as a memory began to play on the screen. It was Remington's view point of when he was in the crowd of people watching Vezaias on stage singing the song 'I Surrender'. Remington’s mouth hung open and tears were flowing intensely as the memory played.

  “Zay?” Remington mumbled through his tears. He smiled trying to absorb what was happening. The memory continued to play until the moment Remington had jumped onto the stage and smashed into Vezaias hugging and kissing him. Remington closed his eyes trying to imagine how wonderful that moment felt. “Are you trying to tell me you are still here?” Remington said softly looking back at the screen. The screen shifted to another memory.

  “I got you. Common.” Demetri pulled Remington towards the stage. Remington turned to Vezaias.

  “Don't worry I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here watching you.” Vezaias smiled at him encouragingly. Remington looked scared but then nodded gathering his resolve again. He followed Demetri out to the stage.

  Remington was astonished now. This was clearly an answer. Remington wiped his tears away and smiled.

  “Okay Zay, I understand. I am trying my best. I hope that I am doing a good job.” Remington said softly. He took a deep breath. “Can I hear the song again?” He asked meekly. The screen shifted to another memory, this time it was Remington watching Vezaias on stage singing 'I’m Suffocating'. Remington’s eyes leaked again and tears slid down his cheeks. He sank down to the ground again.

  “I am.” Remington said softly. “I really am suffocating without you.” Remington began to cry again and pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly.

  “Remington.” Remington snapped his head up and found himself back in the laboratory with Zexich looking at him. “Are you alright?”

  “Huh…ugh……yeah I'm alright…..why?” Remington said cupping his face again.

  “You were crying in your sleep.” Zexich said factually.

  “Oh….sorry.” Remington said looking a bit ashamed.

  “That is quite alright. I was only concerned. I won't bother you anymore. I am sure you need more rest.” Zexich said. “It is getting late after all.”

  “Right…late…” Remington mumbled. He sat up more and continued to hold the left side of his face. Zexich turned to walk away.

  “Wait!” Remington stopped him. Zexich paused and turned back to look at Remington.

  “Yes Remington?” Zexich asked politely.

  “I uh…” He paused and looked down to the floor very unhappily. “….I might have been a bit hasty before……I want to tell you that you have my consent to provide me with medical care again. I'm sorry if this is unsatisfying for you to have to do.” Remington said meekly.

  “I am rather relieved that you gave me this consent again, Remington. I was very worried that something would happen to you and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.” Zexich said. He did in fact look relieved.

  “I thought you wouldn't care to do anything after what I have done.” Remington said looking even more ashamed.

  “I cannot say that I am happy about what you have done, or that I still trust you as much as I did before, however I do still in fact care about you. I want to remind you that one of our current members was at one point our enemy. He killed one of our former members, was indirectly responsible for Sigil's death, and he caused us a great deal of harm, and he also captured me and tortured me causing me life long trauma. Our group has since forgiven him, accepted him back into our group, and I have even found myself able to forgive him.” Zexich said, trying to reassure Remington. Remington was quiet and staring at the floor.

  “Thanks Zex…..I'll try to keep that in mind.” Remington said meekly.

  “You are very welcome Remington. Please try and get some rest. You look exhausted.” Zexich said in concern.

  “I'll try.” Remington said quietly.

  “Perhaps you would like to go to a bedroom?” Zexich asked politely.

  “Um, maybe. I have a question first.” Remington said cautiously.

  “I will do my best to provide an answer.” Zexich said, looking thoughtful.

  “Do you know…..anything about schizophrenia? Or bipolar disorder?” Remington asked meekly.

  “I have not personally treated anyone for these types of diagnoses, or knowingly encountered anyone with these diagnoses until I was introduced to Lux, however I am fairly well read on the subjects, as far as symptoms, how to diagnose, possible treatments, possible medications….why do you ask?” Zexich mused at the question.

  “I was curious. When I met him, I automatically didn't like him. I guess it was because Vezaias seemed to fall right back into their previous relationship with him, so I was very threatened by that. Plus his behavior was very strange and erratic. Of course Vezaias seemed to know how to handle Lux, but I didn't. I think I am the reason he followed through with his attempt, I just don't understand the logic behind what I said to him and how he interpreted it into killing himself and I feel like it is my fault.” Remington explained very solemnly.

  “What did you say to him?” Zexich asked.

  “He had been writing suicide letters. He said the voices he hears told him that he couldn't kill himself until he wrote the perfect suicide letter. He told me the problem was he didn't have anyone to give it to or anyone who would even care, so that made writing the letter difficult, and he just couldn't make it perfect. He had written nearly 50 letters and each he had declared to be flawed in some way. I asked him if I could be his friend and when he finished his perfect letter I would read it. He let me read one of the imperfect letters and I told him that he probably keeps finding flaws because maybe he really didn't want to die. I told him, he wasn't writing the letter to anyone in particular either, so it would always be unsatisfying. I told him I didn't want him to kill himself either. Then I left, and when I came back he had written me a letter…” Remington handed Zexich the letter from his pocket. Zexich took the letter and read it very quickly.

  “Hmm, well he does have a very interesting thought process of how his mind works, thus bringing him to the conclusion of killing himself.”

  “But it doesn't make any sense.” Remington said seriously.

  “It does actually. You only view the moment as trying to emotionally connect with him, expressing that you didn't believe he really wanted to die, which was probably true, and you also expressed how you didn't want him to die, in an attempt to comfort him and convince him he shouldn't follow through with his plans of writing a satisfying letter and granting himself permission to proceed. Any empathetic person would feel that emotional connection first and use that to help themselves through the situation and decide to stay alive.” Zexich said.

  “Right, that's what I was going for when I told him that.” Remington said.

  “He viewed it much more logically. His problem was that he couldn't write the perfect suicide letter because he had nobody to give it to, and nobody that would care. Without those two things, each letter would be a fail. You decided to try and emotionally connect with him showing him that you cared. That solved both of the problems he was having. He then felt emotionally validated, and he had someone who cared, solving one problem, and he could then write the letter to you, solving the other problem. Now he could write the perfect letter thus granting himself permission to proceed. It makes perfect sense if you view it this way.” Zexich said thoughtfully. Remington looked bewildered by this explanation.

  “I don't understand his logic at all!” Remington nearly shouted in frustration.

  “He has schizophrenia, Remington. His mind doesn't work the way a typical mind does. I'm sure he could feel the emotional connection you were trying to establish, but in his way of thinking, that connection wasn't going to stop him from killing himself. To him, his dilemma and the delusion he was dealing with was more important than the emotional connection you were trying to build with him. He probably had a reason for wanting to kill himself, and it likely had nothing to do with his lack of emotional relationships. To be diagnosed with Schizophrenia you must have at least one or more prevalent symptom out of these three; delusions, hallucinations, and/or disorganized speech and thought processes. It seems to me he has all three of these.” Zexich explained. Remington looked deep in thought trying to understand how this was logical at all. “To a person with Schizophrenia they may view things differently, or believe in very strange things. For example a person with Schizophrenia might believe their house may get broken into and the only way to prevent this from happening is to sell all of their valuable things, in which case they would prevent the theft but of course they would still lose all of their belongings. It would only make sense to them to do this, and they truly might believe this is the best option, and it would be extremely difficult to convince them otherwise. Of course the delusions can range from mild to completely extreme and impossible. Vezaias seemed to understand this because he told us at the briefing that Lux thought he was dead. Vezaias knew he wouldn't be able to completely sway him out of this idea and instead chose to curve him into a more comfortable mindset by suggesting that he was reanimated into a zombie, but even so he was not dangerous like the zombies portrayed in the media. It was very clever of him, but he must have known how to do this because he has had previous experiences with Lux.” Zexich explained.