Chapter 21: The Worst Date of My Entire Life (So Far)

  On the morning of the worst date of my life, so far, I began by trying an another quick social media stalk of Manannán McClear, only to find nothing but references to some Irish sea god. Red flag number 1: nothing to corroborate Manannán’s existence. Red flag number two was that I found Manannán’s photo of the jellyfish online, in an issue of National Geographic. Normally, this would be impressive, except that the photograph was credited to a Rhonda Carmichael. I sighed. Two dates in, and I was already being lied to.

  I’d been ignoring red flags, but also trying to excuse my own poor behaviour. In truth, dating somebody to try and avoid confronting and interrogating your own feelings regarding someone else is fucked up, plain and simple. I was playing with people’s emotions, treating Manannán almost kind of like a rebound relationship, all in the hope that thinking about him would fuel my transformation into the Crystal Guardian Amethyst. Sure, he didn’t actually have the ability to fuel that transformation, but maybe it had been unfair to expect that of him in the first place. Maybe it was unfair to expect that of anyone.

  And then there was Elias, the man I’d been trying to extricate myself from, at least emotionally. I hated to admit it, but I did actually care about him now, at least to some extent, and it wasn’t just about my powers anymore. He didn’t seem like just a work colleague. He was somebody I’d battled alongside, and someone who I’d seen in some of their darkest moments. He was someone I needed to protect as well: physically and emotionally.

  I looked through my contacts list. I was too old to be asking my mum and dad for advice on boys, The Major was obviously inappropriate, and asking Elias for advice on how to handle matters of the heart seemed to be a bad idea. But I did have Emma, at least. If anybody could give me advice on how to salvage or extricate myself from this situation, Emma would be the one. I called her up and spilled my guts on everything that had happened between Manannán and me, all the while I decided what I would wear for the date.

  “I just don’t know what to do. I mean, Manannán seems like a great guy and all, but I don’t know if I’m in this for the right reasons. I mean, there’s still so much I don’t know and-“

  Emma sighed. She sounded disappointed in me, and it killed me inside. “Dunno, Ames. The relationships I’ve been in all came organically, because I actually had shared hobbies. Be honest: apart from wanting to be in a relationship, what do you have in common with this guy?”

  I froze. She was right. Sure, the photography was impressive, or so I’d thought, but realistically, it wasn’t something I’d enjoy. I wasn’t a gambler either, I didn’t like his favourite movies, and he technically thought I worked for a toy company. And I had no idea if he was into anime, or anything I might be into. Hell, I barely knew what my hobbies were, these days. I slumped on the couch. “So it’s dead in the water.”

  “I didn’t say that Ames, I said that unless you have something in common with this guy, you’re running on butterflies, and butterflies don’t last forever.”

  “Cheers. Be seeing you”. I hung up. I had to draw a hard line now: this was about to be date number 3 now. Mystery can be attractive if you’re not looking for anything serious, but I was at an age where I wanted seriousness and commitment. Emma was right: I needed to either find something that Manannán and I had in common on this date, or rethink my entire approach here.

  I decided to play with Feather Locklear for a bit, let her out of her enclosure while I cleaned the enclosure, then watered my succulents. Technically, pet and plant ownership counts as a hobby, right? Sure, it might not be an adrenaline rush, but it was something that wasn’t work related, and it was a start to becoming a happy, well-rounded magical girl. I scritched the top of Feather Locklear’s yellow little head. It puffed out its deep blue chest, squeaked appreciatively, and then hopped back into the enclosure. If everything else collapsed around me, at least I had my budgie.

  I spent the rest of the day doing a bunch of useless admin crap, before showering and getting ready for the casino date. I cursed myself for not having more fancy clothes for date nights, and once again cursed the State Government for being stingy bastards and making me unable to afford lots of fancy dresses. A little bit of perfume, and I realized that I’d forgotten where Manannán would be meeting me. I stepped outside, contemplating whether I should walk to his house, or try meeting him at the casino, when I saw him leaning against the same white car with dark tinted windows that I’d seen Sebastian drive away in. Manannán's suit looked like linen again, like he should be on a yacht in some far-flung exotic locale, somewhere far cooler than Port Moonstone. His hair had that effortless windswept look straight out of a shampoo commercial. All in all, it would’ve been the perfect ensemble if it wasn’t for the busted arm. He opened the passenger door for me, before sliding in next to me.

  “You didn’t want me to drive?” I asked, buckling my seatbelt and trying to work out how exactly to sit in this vehicle that cost probably everything I’d ever earned working for the Government. He smiled, giving me a small, cold wet peck on the cheek. “Don’t worry, darling. It’s all arranged. I figured I’d splurge on the chauffer, spend more time with you.”

  I surreptitiously wiped the kiss from my cheek as the car rolled toward the casino. Red flags number six and seven: bad kisser and a lot of spending. I leaned back, tried to get comfortable. He looked over at me curiously.

  “Something the matter?”

  I bit my tongue. No point in bringing up Sebastian. I hadn’t seen him since high school, and I didn’t know what he had and hadn’t mentioned about our relationship. I focused on the night ahead. “It’s fine. Just work stuff and period cramps.”

  Manannán nodded. “Say less. We’re here now.”

  The casino was garishly opulent, too much for Port Moonstone. Still, Manannán looked excited. I hoped that there’d be a restaurant, somewhere we could sit down and have a proper meal. He wrapped his good arm around my waist as we entered the casino, and took me to the bar, then told me he was going to get some chips for the casino, because he wanted me to be his good luck charm. I ordered a negroni, and sipped it. The bartender had used dry vermouth instead of sweet, and used a grapefruit peel instead of an orange, which made the negroni bitterer than it should be. I looked down. Definitely not the best date I’ve ever been on, but maybe Manannán would find a way to redeem himself. Maybe I just needed to keep a more open mind.

  My thoughts were interrupted by a text from Elias. “Hey, can I talk to you about work stuff? I’ve got a theory that I wanted to discuss with the others, and I wanted to run it by you first. Quick sanity check and all. Let me know if it’s a good time.”

  I frowned. What the hell was he on about, and why did he think I would be helpful? I fired back. “Can it wait, at all? I’m kind of on a date right now. Maybe Emma or The Major could be helpful?”

  I heard the ping of someone else’s phone going off He wasn’t here right now, surely? I whipped my head around but I couldn’t see anyone. Maybe I was imagining things. I sipped the world’s worst negroni and looked up as Manannán scooped me up and escorted me to the poker table, whispering something about me being his lucky charm tonight. I gave a stiff smile. I’ve heard of luck of the Irish, but literally nobody has heard of luck of the Maltese, and for good bloody reason. We were almost at the poker table when Manannán froze. Elias was there, sipping a lemon-lime bitters, looking up with steel in his eyes. Both of them froze in place, before Manannán dropped a bunch of chips and plaques on the table. I tidied them up as best I could before he smiled at Elias, showing his teeth. Dude needed a dentist ASAP.

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  “Long time no see. Elliott, was it? Hope you don’t mind if I join in.”

  Elias didn’t say anything, just kept his eyes on Manannán as he steepled his fingers. He looked briefly at me, before closing his eyes and focusing back on the game. The next game began, and the dealer began passing cards, before telling me I needed to back away from the table if I wasn’t playing. Fine by me. I stepped back and I checked my phone. Elias had seen my text, but hadn’t responded. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end.

  Everyone at the table looked at their cards and two people next to the dealer put in their initial chips for the pot as the betting began. Manannán looked overconfident and threw in a few chips of his own. Elias put a few chips into the pot. “Call”. I was nervous. The dealer turned up three cards: Queen of Diamonds, Seven of Diamonds, Four of Clubs, before announcing “The flop”. I racked my brain, tried to remember how Texas-hold-em worked. I’d played blackjack as part of a lesson on probability in high school, but that was as far as my gambling knowledge went. The guy next to the dealer folded, and the next player knocked their knuckles on the table. “Check”. Elias positioned his hand to do the same, but Manannán put some chips in. “Bet”. Elias looked at his cards again, put in some more chips. “Call”.

  My heart was pounding. Truth is, I didn’t want either of them to lose. Another card, Jack of Diamonds, another round of betting. “The Turn”, the dealer announced, turning up the next card. Manannán was playing with his chips, looking Elias in the eyes. Elias, for his part, looked across, between me and Manannán. For a moment, nobody else in this room seemed to matter. Manannán smiled, adding some more chips to the pot. “Raise”. Elias looked over his cards once more. “Call.”

  As I stepped away from the table, I was torn. I wasn’t sure who I wanted to win anymore. I barely recognized Manannán from the guy who’d sat across the table from me at Farrugia’s. He looked different: not physically, mind. Maybe it was the way that the casino lights were shining over him. He didn’t remind me of a Viking or a hippy anymore. His eyes seemed to go dark, and he reminded me of a cross between a shark and a villain from a mob movie. Elias, on the other hand, stared Manannán down with that steely-eyed look that reminded me of an Old West gunfighter, but there was more to it. He looked up at me. I couldn’t read his expression: Sadness? Pain? Regret? They call them poker faces for a reason. All I could see was conflict.

  The last card was dealt, the Two of Hearts. Manannán moved his entire stack of plaques and chips in. “All in”. Elias’ only choice was to call as everyone else folded. The dealer nodded. “Showdown, gentlemen”. Manannán showed his hand. Two of clubs plus a Queen of spades. Two pair. But Elias relaxed visibly. Three and Four of Diamonds. Flush. Mannanán’s eyes were bulging. The pile of chips and plaques made its way to Elias. He didn’t look happy, as Manannán began arguing and calling him a cheater. Elias looked over at me. His expression looked haunted and pained, as I saw him mouth “I’m sorry”, before pressing a couple of buttons on his phone.

  My phone buzzed again. When I saw the photo of Manannán and Sebastian embracing, my stomach dropped. I could’ve vomited right there. Instead, I ran. I ran like my life depended on it. I don’t know how I made it out. I don’t know how I found myself out the front of the casino, howling like my life was over. All I remember is the pain and the fury. It wasn’t just that Manannán was cheating. It wasn’t just that it was with my high-school ex. It was with the fact that I had been stupid enough to put myself out there and all my efforts had gone up in smoke. It wasn’t rational, but pain isn’t something I had learned to rationalize. The world seemed to have disappeared around me, leaving only red-hot fury as tears streamed down my face.

  I heard footsteps, and a man shouting my name. I turned around. Elias had showed up, and had the nerve to look sorry. I looked up, still blubbering. He was looking around, and knelt down. “I’m sorry I had to-“

  “Oh, fuck off Elias, you fucking wanker! You didn’t have to do jack fucking shit to me, but you did, in front of all those people!?”

  “Amy, I’m-“

  “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I screamed. I was hyperventilating, feeling dizzy from the rage. He put his hands up to try and calm me down, but I wasn’t having any of it. “STAY AWAY FROM ME!” I screamed again. He stepped away, but in my state, I was beyond reason. “Once wasn’t enough, was it Elias? You just had to do it again, in front of all those people! You never changed, did you? Deep down, you’re still the same arsehole you always were!”

  Elias’ expression twisted into a mask of rage. “What the hell did you want me to do: Sit back and watch while somebody forces you to be the other woman? How long was I meant to punish myself, Amy? What the hell was I meant to do to apologize? What was I meant to do to try and fix everything? Was I just meant to sit back and let that cunt ruin your life, for the second time!? I couldn’t do that, Amy!”

  “Yes you could! You could have chosen to stay the fuck out of my life!”

  Elias looked around, before calming down. “Look, hate me as much as you want, we need to get you out of here. McClear and Sebastian-“

  “Shut the fuck up”. I didn’t sound angry any more. I sounded weary. My head was pounding. I still wanted to vomit. More than that, I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. It would’ve been so easy. I didn’t feel like a magical girl any more. I felt like I’d been stabbed, like I was bleeding to death in a back alley somewhere. I didn’t have it in me to fight anymore. Why bother? There was a certain appeal in just falling asleep in the middle of the street, and never actually waking up. No more suffering, no more pain, no more tomorrow. When I eventually did stand, I didn’t do so under my own power. I felt like I was a puppet on a string. Elias stepped forward. “Amy, I’m being serious-“

  “I don’t care anymore. Just go, Elias.”

  I ran back to the car. The world around me was growing colder, and quieter, and greyer, but I didn’t feel anything. I stumbled back into the car that Manannán had picked me up in. I could hear Elias shouting my name, the only sound piercing the night.

  In retrospect, getting into that car was a stupid, reckless decision that could have gotten me killed. I sat down, looked over at the casino. To my surprise, part of me wanted Elias to come and tell me that it would all be okay, to come over and try to comfort me. And I was surprised to find that I didn’t want the same from Manannán. But most of me wanted to go home to sleep. I saw my face in the rear view mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, and my mascara was running. I wanted to bang my head against the window, but couldn’t muster the energy to do so. I asked the driver to take me home. That’s when I saw her face next to me. She was wearing a chauffeur’s uniform, but there was no mistaking the light bouncing off of the steel mask. Iron Mask was staring me right in the face. “Honestly surprised you didn’t pick it up on the drive in.”

  I tried to open the door, but the vehicle was locked. The window opened, but Iron Mask clapped her metal hand around my throat, pulling me back into the vehicle as she pulled a gun. I struggled, pure survival instinct kicking in. The vehicle started up, and Iron Mask pointed the gun at Elias. I tried to grab the gun from her, striking her, even tried to bite her like an animal, but the gun went off. The sound of the shot echoed around me, and I screamed Elias’ name as the bullet stuck his chest, making a loud cracking noise at it did so. Nobody came. The windows rolled up, as the car began moving, speeding up. Iron Mask had me in a chokehold, and the last thing I remembered was the sound of her shushing me, before I slipped into unconsciousness.

  When I woke, I was in a dark and dank basement. A single lightbulb swung above my head. My headache was splitting, and my heart was pounding. I struggled, but I’d been bound to a chair, and I heard a strangely familiar voice. A voice that seemed airy and genteel. A voice I hadn’t heard in years, but a voice I knew all too well.

  “Sometimes, in this world, you finally meet the one you love. Sometimes, you just look at someone, and you know, that person is the one. Sometimes, in those moments, the entire world just makes sense. And for me, that person wasn’t a human being. Meeting him was like meeting a God. Can you imagine what that’s like? I don’t think you’re actually capable of appreciating that kind of beauty. I don’t think you can show the devotion necessary.”

  The world came swimming back into view, and there in front of me stood a man I thought I would never see again after graduating high school. I hadn’t even realized I was drooling.

  “Where am I, Sebastian?”

  I heard the creaking of stairs as Manannán and Iron Mask descended. Manannán wrapped his hands around Sebastian’s waist, and pecked him on the cheek. I looked up in disgust, struggled vainly as ropes cut into my skin. “So it’s not enough that you have to cheat on me: You want to cavort with a terrorist, and for what? What the hell could I have possibly done to deserve this, Sebastian? Manannán, what did I do to deserve this?”

  Manannán smiled cruelly. When he finally spoke, the Irish accent was gone, replaced by a cold, wet rasping voice. “Don’t flatter yourself, Crystal Guardian Amethyst. That’s right: I know, because Sebastian here told me. The hypocrisy astounds me. You denied him his true urges for years, but I have given him the love that he truly desires. You can ponder that while Iron Mask gets to work.”

  I hung my head as Sebastian walked up the stairs, leaving me with Iron Mask. She looked me in the eyes, expressionless. She leaned in closer.

  “Let’s get started. We’ve got a lot to discuss.”