APOLLO

  ‘’A few centuries back, when I was still with Hermes, I found a temple in Rome. My mind was lost at that time. I could feel my body had given up on fighting to resist. And then, I saw your statue. Out of desperation, I wondered. What if you reply? What if you are here and you simply are too afraid of facing me, wanting me to suffer for all those years? Was it anger? Sadness in my heart? I didn’t know, but I prayed for Apollo of Rome to reply. And at his place, there was a monster. A harsh monster, wanting to hurt me. There was nothing beautiful, nor holy.

  The years passed, and I was dressed as Odysseus when I found him in the palace, eating people. And I tried to hurt him. I did hurt him, but he spoke to me. He called me Oracle. His claws ripped off my back, making it bleed, and the remaining survivors saw everything. I tried to hide my disguise a little more until he was in the cage of the palace. He was in shackles, and I was holding the knife that could kill him.

  And then.

  He spoke to me. He was speaking to me with your voice. Because he was a version of you. He said that he was missing me, he wanted me close, trapped, at his side. He was everything cruel, everything dark and twisted. I should have killed him. But I couldn’t. Not when he was looking at me with your eyes. So, I began visiting the cage, informing each ruler what he would say to the next. No matter what, every king shall not have my secret, just like I know theirs, and they will have to keep trapped a monster that I called out, that I created and cannot destroy.’’

  I stared at her after she told that story to me. Her face was still burned from the shame.

  ‘’Huh’’I frowned, and Lyssandra raised one brow.

  ‘’Hector’’I tried to not laugh, pointing at the thin air and then at me. ‘’Paris.’’

  And we both let out a chuckle. It was under our noses the whole time, and we couldn’t even notice it.

  ‘’When he danced with me’’ She spoke later and sat right next to me, looking at the wall.

  ‘’He said that he never blamed me. Of what I did. And he wished that I could choose him at the end.’’

  My head turned to her face, and I waited for her to say something. And she tilted her head to the left, realising that she was about to mess with me.

  ‘’I might choose him.’’

  And I nodded. ‘’Will I be at your wedding?’’

  ‘’Of course, I want someone to cry like a puppy’’She finally faced me and smiled. But then, she stood up.

  ‘’What now?’’I asked. And she raised her shoulders.

  ‘’I am done with kings’’She admitted and rubbed the back of her head. And I lifted my body and turned at her side, wanting to kiss her.

  ‘’Cyprus’’I said. ‘’Let’s go to Cyprus after that.’’

  And she moved her head up and down.

  ‘’I will speak to the king’’She clenched my hand and walked out, leaving the door open for my son to enter. He looked slowly back to see Lyssandra disappearing into the walls, and he smiled.

  ‘’I can see why you like her’’He raised one eyebrow. ‘’But why does shelikes you?’’

  ‘’Careful, boy, you took your charms from me’’ I pointed at my child, and he scoffed.

  We both stared at each other in silence, and he was about to leave, but I stopped him immediately. Because before our next journey, I needed to settle something.

  Hector was once again a man, chained up, trying to find any kind of remorse for the position he was in. And his sharp eyes were staring at me and my son, who was standing at the front of the door of the prison, and me. He was me. A violent, hating version of me. Was this what the Romans were making out of us? Or was it because I was imprisoned, getting out of Tartarus, only the hate and darkness?

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  ‘’Why are you here?’’ He asked.

  She told me the truth. And I knew that. But I wanted to listen to him too. If I were him, I would want to see a sign of hope inside his soul.

  ‘’I came to see you.’’

  ‘’Pitty ‘’his mouth made a mean smile. ‘’I wanted to see her’’He tilted his head to the right. ‘’She was always so beautiful, wasn’t she? When I saw her a few months ago, I wasn’t sure it was her, actually. She looked so happy. She was never happy when she was looking at me. Every time, she was listening to my stories, though. Still with her eyes of pain, she was staring at me, listening to my own stories. How many thousands were worshiping me? How many times did I want more devotees? How many times did I want to keep them in my arms, their eyes glued on me, their mouths spitting only praises? I wanted her to do the same. But she was trying to search for something. Someone that I was not. However, she was still visiting. She once tried to get me out, telling me that I could take a human form. And I did. But the form was not this. Not yours either. Why shall I give her what she wanted? What does she need? I dug deep into her head, seeing other people that she loved and lost. Did you know about a girl who loved fighting, dying, doing the thing she loved the most? Her last words were your beloved’s name? Oh, that would hurt her. And when I turned to her, I tried to embrace her, to touch her. But she turned out to scream, and push me back. Why was she crying? Why was she slapping me? I am not an animal. But her cruelty, her fear, and hatred towards me enticed me. I wanted to see more of this pain. When the time was right, I found an escape, and I took this disguise from a man that was half dead in the battlefield. His soul was still awake, talking instead of me. He was resisting so much… But I had to wait. Wait for her. And so, I saw her. With you…why was she happy with you? Oh, how I wish to see her angry. How much did I provoke her, but you were there to make her feel at ease. So, I poisoned her. I wanted to see her defeat in her eyes…Why did I hate it? Was the soul of the man still fighting inside me? I had to stop it. I devoured his soul entirely that night but still. Why did I hate this woman? She shouldn’t have gotten hurt. Wasn't it her? No, it was her. Why did she change so much? No, I wanted her. And I could have her after the celebration. None will notice her missing, not even you. I could imagine her lying on my bed, facing me with fear as I would take each of her sadness as pleasure. Because fear is what makes the devotion strong, showing me her love in so many ways’’

  He let out a heavy breath and glared at me. And I knew then. That he was me. A version of me that I wish I had forgotten. I wanted worship, I wanted people to love me. But now…I needed to stay with her.

  ‘’I see’’I gasped out and tried to look at my son, whose face was painted with pain.

  ‘’What will you do to me now?’’ He chuckled.

  ‘’You are the god, you tell me’’I reminded him. And the god now let out a laugh before his smile faded.

  ‘’Not, yet’’There was horror on his face. ‘’You are not…You are not her’’Thick saliva dripped from his mouth.’’ Bring me Lyssandra’’He commanded. ‘’I need to see her.’’

  ‘’You hurt her’’I reminded him, trying to control my anger. If I were a god, I would have turned him into a plant so small that it would be devoured by a poor, ugly goat and shat out of it immediately. I would turn him into a mouse, trying to hide from everyone’s prey. But I was not a god anymore. Not for now, at least. I could wait for a few years and return. Making him wait, his fear would grow slowly as his punishment would be so near. Still…I must not stay alive for one more second. He was me. Everything that I hated about myself. I should have accepted those parts of me. I do. But I cannot forgive him. Because the man I was staring at was not me anymore.

  ‘’You can either rot here on those cells’’I spoke calmly. ‘’Or,’’I faced back to my son who showed me a small black jar that was holding a strong poison. Not like the blood of Typhon, but strong enough to kill this pathetic excuse for a god.

  And he let out a laugh. ‘’You cannot kill me’’He explained and stood from the cold ground. ‘’No, no, no. You cannot just yet’’His eyes winced. ‘’Not here.’’

  ‘’What?’’

  Not here. What was in the future that was causing him to say those words?

  ‘’So many times, you will face me, so many lifetimes. And you won’t kill-’’

  There was a chuckle. ‘’Bring her to me’’He shouted.

  And I snarled back. ‘’You shall not even dare of thinking to see Lyssandra ever-’’

  ‘’I am not talking about Lyssandra’’He interrupted me with a wide grin.

  What?

  ‘’I do not want to see Oracle I need to see Morning-’’

  His amusement stopped when the door opened with Lyssandra walking inside, gaze steady, showing no emotions.

  ‘’Let’s go’’She spoke out, and her eyes ignored him completely. Because her green emerald eye was looking only at me.

  Let’s go. Why?

  ‘’You’’Hector gasped out, and his hands found the bars, trying to move closer.’’No, it’s not you, not yet’’

  She did not care anymore if he escaped or not. Because she would stop looking at the past, of her mistakes and pain. Her suffering.

  Why didn’t you save me? You are hurting us.

  And maybe I should try it too,

  I held her hand tight and nodded with a warm smile.

  ‘’As you wish.’’And we all walked away, listening to a ghost begging for an escape