The chamber beyond stretched wide and hollow, its ceiling lost in shadow. Branches jutted from the walls like broken spears. A nest of bones sat at the far end, filled with scraps of fur, metal, and adventurer boots.
The crystal pulsed smugly:
Encounter Initiated: The Bird Trio. Difficulty: Medium. Attempt: 21.
***
Three birds swooped down from the rafters.
The first was lean and fast, wings slicing through the air like knives.
The second was hulking, feathers bristling with scars, its beak cracked but unyielding.
The third perched atop the bone pile, tilting its head slowly, its yellow eyes calculating every twitch of the adventurers.
Leo stiffened, notebook shaking in his hands. “It’s the same. Every dungeon, every encounter. One fast. One strong. One smart.”
Harlada rolled her eyes. “Lazy programming.”
Bert hefted his cleaver. “Birds are just rats with wings. Smash time!”
The birds answered with a chorus of screeches that rattled the rafters.
***
The fast one dived first, talons flashing. Bert swung and missed, his cleaver cleaving only air. The bird slashed his cheek and was gone before he blinked.
The strong one slammed into Harlada, wings battering her like a living shield. She cartwheeled backward, sparks fizzing uselessly.
The smart one screeched once, and the other two pivoted perfectly, corralling Leo against the wall. A claw ripped through his notes, scattering pages into the mud.
The adventurers collapsed in a heap.
The crystal pulsed:
Attempt: 22. Achievement Unlocked: Sitting Ducks. Reward: None.
***
They respawned coughing swamp water, dripping, bruised, and furious.
“Okay,” Harlada snapped, “birds are worse than rats.”
“Impossible,” Leo muttered, adjusting his shattered glasses. “But I admit… troubling.”
Bert grinned, teeth flashing. “Time for my new strategy.”
He held up a sputtering torch.
“Oh no,” Harlada groaned. “Not again.”
“Yes again,” Bert said proudly. “Flap this, featherbrains!”
***
The torch caught.
The swamp gas hissed.
The entire chamber went up like a bonfire.
Birds shrieked. Adventurers screamed. Flames roared across the rafters, detonating nests into showers of bones and molten feathers.
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
When the smoke cleared, nothing remained but ash and three smoking corpses — two avian, one Bert-shaped.
***
Attempt: 23.
They reappeared instantly in their cages, coughing soot.
The crystal pulsed cheerfully:
Encounter Cleared (Unintended). Reward Generated.
A pedestal rose from the swamp, carrying a single glowing gem.
***
Bert lunged for it instantly. “Mine!”
Two lightning bolts shot from the crystal and fried him where he stood.
-2 HP. Rogue Status: Greedy Idiot.
Leo calmly plucked the gem from the air as Bert twitched on the floor. It dissolved into his hand with a pleasant chime.
+1 Dexterity applied to Warrior Leo Vince.
He exhaled slowly, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Finally. A useful correction.”
Harlada crossed her arms. “Dexterity won’t save us in the parcour room.”
Bert groaned, smoke rising from his hair. “Dex is just muscles but smaller. I should’ve had it.”
The crystal pulsed smugly:
Patch Notes v1.04: Swamp Gas no longer burnable. Exploit removed.
The swamp below bubbled like laughter.
But the crystal wasn’t finished.
Additional Patch Notes:
- Torch damage reduced by 90%.
- Bird AI pathing updated. More swoops, fewer flaps.
- Player Bert flagged: High Risk of Stupidity. Monitoring enabled.
Bert scowled, smoke still curling from his ears. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Leo didn’t look up. “It means we are officially beta-testers.”
Harlada groaned. “Unpaid ones.”
***
They didn’t move toward the boar door right away.
Instead, Harlada jabbed her finger at the parcours sigil. “We should at least try. Maybe Leo’s shiny new dex makes a difference.”
Leo adjusted his glasses, nodding gravely. “Agreed. With enhanced agility, I may—”
The door groaned open.
Moments later, the three of them dangled upside-down in a web of ropes, legs tied in knots, faces plastered with swamp muck. A plank snapped, dumping them together into the pit below.
Attempt: 24.
Achievement Unlocked: False Hope. Reward: None.
They reappeared in their cages, coughing water.
Harlada pointed at the twisting parcours mark. “So… do we try again?”
Leo shook his head. “Statistically insufficient. Even with my increased agility, probability of survival is… insulting.”
Bert flexed weakly, still smoking. “I can jump. Watch me.”
He tried. His knees buckled. He toppled over sideways, still holding the shield.
“No,” Harlada said flatly.
The crystal pulsed again, taunting:
Reminder: Regression remains an option. The Lava misses you.
All three screamed at once, “NO!”
Leo rubbed his temples, notebook quivering in his hand. “Then we require an alternative path. One that yields additional resources, perhaps another gem. Something more manageable.”
“Like pigs,” Bert said, grinning. “Big, juicy, smashable pigs.”
“Boars,” Harlada corrected, shuddering at the squeals leaking through the tusked door.
“Exactly,” Bert said proudly. “Pigs with anger issues. My specialty.”
Leo adjusted his glasses with a grimace. “Statistically, we will regret this.”
The crystal pulsed smugly:
Path Chosen: Boars. Attempts: 24 Pending.
The door groaned open, hot breath and snorts spilling into the chamber.
They stepped forward.