Alexios

  It's been several weeks since I last heard from the queen and I’d be lying if I said it isn’t starting to grate on me. She’s always at the edge of my thoughts, but I get little more than a whisper that dies before I can fully understand what she’s saying when I try to reach out to her.

  My hands are clasped tightly behind my back as I pace back and forth through my study. I should be focusing on the half-signed contracts and shipment confirmations on my desk, but I can’t stop thinking about her.

  Arun must be down the hall, painting again. I can hear his sweet laughter all the way here, like he’s right beside me. A part of me envies his ability to stay so present in the moment. My thoughts spiral and I desperately try to cling to Arun’s joy. I sit down in the chair and pinch the bridge of my nose.

  “Alexios?”

  When I look up, I find Arun standing just before the door with a book in his hands. His tail flicks shyly as he steps closer.

  “May I show you something?” he asks quietly.

  I ease back in my chair and roll my shoulders to take some tension out.

  “Of course, you can. What is it?”

  Arun lays the open book on the desk in front of me.

  “I read over some of these passages earlier and I thought maybe you’d appreciate them too.”

  My eyebrows rise with full curiosity.

  “Tell me about them then, my love.”

  His amber eyes almost look like they’re sparkling now as he begins reading. His finger points to an illustration of Menzoberranzan.

  “I didn’t realize the spider motifs are everywhere,” he says in awe. “It’s almost like Lolth is always watching, right?”

  To my surprise, I realize that I’m no longer thinking about the queen and her silence. I’m too caught up in watching his small hands trace the maps on the page. When he finally looks up at me, I can’t help but smile.

  “It looks like you’ve been learning a lot about drow history, hmm?”

  Arun nods excitedly.

  “I’m trying,” he admits. “I want to understand… that part of you too. Even if it was in the past.”

  My hand rests over his, making his tail curl ever so slightly. He turns the pages a few more times until he pauses on a page full of well-detailed illustrations.

  “Look at this sketch, Alexios. It shows a young drow bowing to a Matron. They look so… composed, but they’re actually terrified, aren’t they?”

  I can’t stop admiring the way his eyes shine when he talks about things he’s been learning. Somehow, this remarkable tiefling can cut through every bit of my heaviness and leave me with something beautiful.

  “Yes,” I admit, gloomily. “It seems you’ve spent a lot of time looking over this.”

  Arun’s cheeks deepen in color as he slowly closes the book.

  “When I read things like this, I just… I don’t understand how anyone ever survives down there. It makes me realize how much you’ve had to carry. Even though you carry more than you care to admit, you still make room for me.”

  I should look away. He knows there’s things I don’t tell him, yet he still loves me all the same.

  “Arun…” I start softly. “Do you know how much I adore you? Do you realize how beautiful you are?”

  His plush lips open, likely to protest my compliments but I stop him.

  “I don’t just mean on the outside,” I continue, tracing his jawline with my thumb. “Even though every god know just how often your looks undo me in… multiple ways. It’s your mind and your kindness. The way you speak of art and history is just…”

  I shake my head. There are not enough words to describe how enamored I am with him. I try again anyway.

  “Every day I look at you and I see more beauty than I thought I’d ever be allowed to witness,” I say. “Do not ever doubt that, do you understand me?”

  Tears begin forming in his eyes and I expect him to turn away, but he leans forward instead so that his lips can press against mine.

  “I won’t,” he finally says as he pulls back.

  “Tell me about your favorite paintings and poems,” I request.

  His eyes widen, clearly surprised by my curiosity.

  “You… really want to know?”

  “I want to know everything,” I answer as my fingers move a strand of his hair behind a horn.

  His smile radiates through the room as he sits down on the edge of my desk. Instead of speaking about the cruelty of the Underdark, he speaks of poems about moonlight and paintings of divine entities bathed in the light of the sun. His tail moves absentmindedly as he talks. Then he pauses.

  “Do you have any stories or paintings that are your favorites?”

  The question itself takes me back to places I don’t often let myself go now. I’d rather leave those memories unturned, but it’s for Arun. My fingers drum lightly against the armrest as I consider my answer carefully.

  “My mentor painted far more than he ever helped,” I finally say. “I never had much interest in it though. Wasn’t skilled enough for it. He didn’t think so either.”

  Arun’s head shifts to the side.

  “A painting doesn’t have to be good to be considered art though.”

  “You try telling him that then,” I say with a scoff. “There was this tapestry though… on a wall in Mira Port that showed ships fighting desperately in a sea storm and in the corner, there’s a single gull flying through it.”

  “Why that one?”

  “It reminds me of the strength it takes to move forward through chaos and suffering,” I tell him. “The story has stayed with me ever since.”

  He squeezes my hand.

  “What about a favorite poem?”

  I laugh softly.

  “I’d rather you read them to me so I can decide. I think it will matter less what the poem is and more that I’m hearing them in your voice.”

  The blush never leaves Arun’s cheeks, even deepening when his tail almost curls between his legs.

  “Have you thought more about going out to dinner with Kayel and Eoin?”

  I nod slowly.

  “I have considered it,” I answer. “There’s a tavern on the outskirts of Thistlemere. It has a quiet garden, fine wine and exceptional bards. It’s been at least a decade since I last visited.”

  His tail moves happily now as he leans in to kiss me again.

  “That sounds perfect. Thank you, Alexios. I mean it.”

  “For what, my love?”

  “For being open about this, I guess. It means more to me than I think you realize.”

  I can’t help but pull him closer, leaving a few stray kisses against his cheek.

  “Arun, I’d give you the world if it made you happy, but I don’t want your happiness to only come from me. You deserve friends and nights where all you do is laugh with them. I don’t want to be your cage.”

  “I don’t see you that way,” he whispers.

  “I know,” I say. “But I want to give you all the chances in the world to spend with them because the happier you are, the more I fall for you. Admittedly, I didn’t know it was possible to fall more in love with you.”

  Arun’s cheeks are still flushed, his tears flowing freely now.

  “Alexios…”

  “I could never keep you hidden away,” I admit. “I want the world to experience your brightness too.”

  He smiles brightly as his tears finally come to a slow stop.

  --

  The morning sun flows vibrantly through the windows of the healing room when I step into the doorway, watching as Arun heals one of the kitchen servants. A cut runs down her forearm where she must have slipped with a knife. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem severe, but Arun has the final say, of course.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  His hands hover over the wound and his fingertips begin glowing gold. The skin knits together perfectly under his touch.

  “Wow, there’s not even a scar.”

  Arun smiles brightly and moves a stray piece of hair from out of his eyes. I should offer to trim it for him sometime soon.

  “Good,” he says happily. “You’ll want to rest it though just in case, alright?”

  She nods and whispers a quiet thanks before hurrying back into the kitchen. My hands stay clasped behind my back as I watch him silently. In the years we’ve been together, he’s never once made a spectacle of his healing abilities. His healing is quiet, patient and kind… just as he is.

  When Arun finally notices me, he jumps slightly.

  “Oh!” he says as he wipes his hands against a spare rag. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “I didn’t want to interrupt you,” I tell him as I step over to him.

  He shrugs casually.

  “Just a small cut.”

  “That may be, but I’d argue what you do here is not small at all.”

  Arun shakes his head and turns to put a few stray bottles back on the shelf.

  “I only want to help,” he says simply. “You’ve always taken such an interest in my magic, even back when we first met in Baldur’s Gate. Why is that?”

  “Because yours mends and soothes,” I tell him. “Your magic gives instead of takes. It’s a balm. Mine… is not.”

  He turns back to me at that admission, tilting his head slightly to consider my words.

  “Is that why I’ve never seen you use yours?” he asks gently.

  I nod, certain of my answer. When I meet his eyes, I don’t see judgment. I see… sadness. Determined to change the subject, I pull him in, pressing him tight against my chest as a hand runs down his spine.

  “Would you like to go to that little café in Richelor tonight?” I ask.

  Arun’s eyes widen before his lips settle into a smile.

  “Is that the one with the tasty vegetable soup I like so much?”

  I can’t help but smile back.

  “Yes, that’s the one.”

  He tries to keep his composure, but the quick flick of his tail gives him away, as always.

  “I’d love that,” he admits.

  “Good,” I answer back. “Let’s have a few too many glasses of wine and then you can order that dessert you always say is ‘too sweet’… only to steal the rest of mine.”

  Arun laughs loudly and leans in to leave a kiss on one of my collarbones.

  “I can’t believe you remember that.”

  “I remember it like it was yesterday. Every single moment with you is ingrained in me, Arun.”

  He smiles and I swear to the gods above that it’s brighter than the sun streaming through the windows.

  --

  The Red Fox Café is just as Arun and I remember it. With its beautiful ambient lighting and ivy covered walls, it looks like something from one of Arun’s paintings. The scent of warm bread has my stomach growling almost instantly as we make our way in.

  Fortunately, our favorite table facing the courtyard is free. I guide Arun to is as he looks around with pure delight in his eyes. When the server brings us a pot of tea, I watch Arun warm his hands with the cup.

  “I missed this more than I realized,” he admits softly. “This is perfect.”

  I reach across the table and catch his hand so I can leave kisses on each of his fingers.

  “Perfect is exactly what you are,” I tell him.

  We keep dinner relatively simple tonight. I order the beef stew while he insists on the vegetable soup with a few slices of bread. He even orders a slice of cake for dessert, taking two bites before pushing the plate over to me.

  “It’s so sweet, Alexios. You have the rest.”

  And just as always, he steals a forkful from me not a moment later as his grin stretches from ear to ear.

  When we leave the café, Arun slips his arm through mine as we walk. Every so often, I catch him humming some unknown tune under his breath.

  The streets are practically empty this time of night, but my sense sharpen as we walk further. Arun leans into me comfortably, his tail even brushing against my leg every now and then. But… something is wrong. My hand tightens around his without a second though.

  “Are you okay?” he asks softly.

  My eyes scan the rooftops and then the alleyways. I can hear the scuff of boots behind us, too exact to be some drunk bastard stumbling back home. I pull Arun closer to me as we continue walking down the street as I try my best to keep calm so I don’t alarm him.

  We walk another block… and three more sets of boots are shuffling across the cobblestone. I slow us down and pull Arun towards the center of the walkway, keeping him in the lantern light. He looks up at me, confusion in his eyes.

  “Stay in the light, alright?” I tell him quietly.

  Then the thieves step out from the shadows, three from the alley to our left and one from behind. They keep their faces half-hidden under robes and scarves, blades shimmering faintly under the moonlight. One steps closer as his eyes move over me, then Arun.

  “Well, well, well,” he smirks. “Look at what we’ve found. Couple of pretty boys draped in silk and wearing rings worth more than a year’s wage.”

  A shorter thief steps forward and chuckles.

  “Look at the drow’s cloak. That shade of dye doesn’t come cheap. Looks worth more than most caravans.”

  The third steps forward.

  “Someone will pay handsomely for that little devil too.”

  Arun’s tail wraps around one of his legs, but he keeps his eyes on me. I meet each of the thieves’ gazes.

  “None of our belongings will do you any good when you’re all dead,” I say sternly. “And none of you will lay a fucking finger on him.”

  “You really think you can take all of us?” one asks, laughing cruelly.

  I step forward and place myself between them and Arun. Before he can sneer, I’m already drawing my dagger and slashing him across the arm before he can react, weapon dropping to the ground as he cries out. One of the others rush me and I drive him back with slice across his collarbone and a kick.

  “Alexios!” Arun cries out.

  I turn just in time to see a few more men coming from the alleyway. One grabs him by the waist while another pulls at his wrists and tail. My grip tightens on my dagger as they begin dragging Arun back, knife pressed firmly against his throat. My instincts tell me to rip through every one of them. Tears pour violently from Arun’s wide eyes.

  “Let him go… now.”

  One of my hands rises slightly as a sharp pull of magic pulses through the air. The thief holding Arun by the waist freezes instantly. Every muscle of his is locked tight. Even from here, I see his eyes go wide as he begins to panic. His body can’t obey him now.

  “What in the hells… what is this…” I overhear from one of the thieves.

  I step forward and a thunder wave slams through the others, pushing them backwards as if they are nothing more than a child’s doll. A few of them slam into crates while the others crash into stone.

  Arun’s eyes widen in awe, his breathing still wild and unsteady.

  “Arun,” I start gently. “I need you to step away from him, do you understand? He can’t move, but do not rush getting free.”

  “Okay,” he breathes out.

  He moves out from the thief’s hold, inch by achingly slow inch. As soon as he’s free, I step behind the thief and shift my hands so that my palms angle downward. His body jerks instantly before his knees slam into the stone beneath us.

  “Go stand by the lantern again,” I tell Arun firmly. “Look away and cover your ears.”

  “But…”

  “Arun… please. Trust me, I need you to do this.”

  When I look at him, he’s breathing heavily and rubbing his wrists where they’d grabbed him. Before I can command him again, he turns away and covers his ears. The thief lets out a weak whimper, straining to shake his head. My dagger rises to rest against his throat. With another sharp inhale and one deep pull, the blade cuts from ear to ear as blood pours viciously from his throat.

  “Keep looking away, my love. It’s almost over.”

  The body collapses at my feet and I listen to the final failed attempts at breaths. The blade is raised to my lips and I slide my tongue along the steel to drink it in. Even with the queen’s silence, I’m still following her orders. That has to mean something to her, right?

  Cleaning the rest of the blade with the inner side of my cloak, I step forward and pull Arun into my chest, keeping his face turned into me so he can’t see the body.

  “Focus on me,” I whisper as I kiss the crown of his head. “We need to leave. Now.”

  I glance around quickly, ensuring that the rest of the thieves aren’t lurking in the alley.

  “Can we go home?” Arun sobs into my chest. “Please.”

  He doesn’t say anything else as I guide him back to the carriage as quickly as I can, keeping my head down as I shield him from anything else the world might through at us tonight. When we finally reach it, I help him inside, eyes scanning every shadow as I make my way in too.

  Arun keeps to the window, face turned away as he cries.

  “Please forgive me,” I whisper to him. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t let that bastard…”

  “Did you kill him?” he cuts in, quietly.

  I inhale sharply at the question. Gods, does he see me differently now?

  “Yes,” I admit, voice barely above a whisper. “I had to. Arun, he was going to kill you.”

  His tears fall harder, shaky hands rising to wipe them away.

  “I’m sorry,” I beg him. “I’m so sorry, my love. Please don’t be afraid of me.”

  He turns his face to me, fresh tears still spilling down his swollen cheeks.

  “You protected me, Alexios. You don’t have to apologize.”

  Quite frankly, I’m… stunned by his answer. I expected him to see me as a monster for taking a man’s life without second thought. I can only nod and pull him gently into my arms.

  “Alexios?” he asks quietly. “Why did your magic feel like… that?”

  My hands grip him tighter.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve never felt magic like that before,” he explains. “It was heavy, almost like it carried something with it. It felt like I was experiencing your grief.”

  For a moment, I’m too fearful to answer. Then I lean back, eyes moving towards the window of the carriage. I could lie to him. I’ve done it before more than I’d like to admit, but now he’s seen a small fraction of what I can do. There’s no way that I can bring myself to weave in another lie between us.

  “My magic has always felt that way,” I confess. “It’s been shaped by grief. From the Underdark, Nykky… other things as well. It has never been gentle like yours.”

  Arun’s tail sways loosely against my leg, then his hand slides over my thigh.

  “It's still you though… and you saved me tonight.”

  Gods, I do not deserve him.

  --

  When the two of us slip into the hot bath together, Arun leans back against me to rest his head on my shoulder. I run water through his hair and smooth it back in an attempt to erase the tension and residue of fear from him. He breathes slowly, draping his tail lazily across my thigh.

  “You’re safe now,” I breathe out. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, okay?”

  I feel his fingers drift beneath the water and lace with mine. Eventually, we leave the bath and I take my time dressing him in a plush robe. He looks… exhausted and rightfully so. I watch him climb into bed with his sketchbook waiting on the bedside table next to him.

  “I was thinking,” I begin. “After your next art class, let’s have dinner with Kayel and Eoin. Would you like that, my love?”

  His expression finally softens, even if it is by a fraction.

  “Really?” he whispers. “Are you sure?”

  I nod, tracing a finger down one of his horns.

  “We’ll go right after class if you want.”

  Arun’s smile fully blooms now, amber eyes brightening like the sun finally breaking through on a cloudy day. He leans in and places a quick kiss on my neck before leaning back into the pillows. I stay awake far longer than I planned to, watching his chest rise and fall and knowing that I will always do my best to keep him safe.

  No matter what he may see.