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Chapter 3 Mastering the Art of Mortal Mistakes

  Lin Xuan had been in the vilge for less than an hour, and he had already caused three minor disasters, two fainting incidents, one structural destruction of a public well, and at least one emotional breakdown in Yue.

  A wonderful start, in his opinion.

  To immerse himself further in mortal life, Lin Xuan decided he should learn the most common type of human work.

  Yue hurried behind him, her long white hair fluttering like a distressed cloud."Master, please… be careful. Mortals are fragile. Very, very fragile."

  "I know," he replied confidently. "That's why I'm practicing. Today, I will complete one normal mortal task… without destroying anything."

  Yue's expression clearly doubted the possibility of such an achievement.

  When Lin Xuan returned to the vilge square, vilgers tried to pretend they were not terrified, but the trembling hands and darting eyes told a different story.

  A baker approached first, sweating profusely."S-Sir Lin Xuan… would you l-like to help knead dough?"

  A bcksmith shoved the baker aside."No! No kneading! He'll crush the entire table! Help me at the forge instead!"

  A farmer pushed past both of them in a panic."Forge?! Are you insane?! He'll melt the whole vilge! S-Sir, you can help water crops! Very safe! Very harmless!"

  Lin Xuan nodded seriously."They seem eager for my assistance."

  "They're trying to keep you where they can watch you," Yue hissed. "Preferably somewhere you can't accidentally destroy."

  "I don't destroy that many things," he muttered defensively.

  Yue strongly disagreed.

  A group of farmers cautiously escorted Lin Xuan to their fields, like leading an apocalypse dragon into a porcein shop.

  One handed him a wooden bucket."Please… just pour. Gently. Very gently."

  Lin Xuan examined the bucket. So flimsy. Mortals truly lived in constant danger.

  He dipped the bucket into the well and gently poured the water onto the soil.

  A single drop fell.

  The rest evaporated instantly.

  The farmers stared.

  He tried again, slower, even gentler.

  One drop.

  Evaporated again.

  Finally, Lin Xuan crouched, touched a fingertip to the dirt, and channeled the smallest amount of divine power possible.

  The field instantly erupted into vibrant green life sprouting, growing, ripening, and completing an entire harvest in one second.

  The farmers fell to their knees."A-a miracle!"

  Yue's face drained of color."MASTER! THEY JUST WANTED WATER!"

  Lin Xuan dusted his hands."Done. Efficient."

  Next, the bcksmith insisted that he try helping in the forge.

  "Here! Just hold this iron bar while I hammer it!"

  Simple enough.

  The bcksmith swung his hammer.

  CLANG!

  The hammer shattered into dust.

  The iron bar didn't even vibrate.

  "My hammer!!" the bcksmith howled.

  "I did nothing," Lin Xuan replied calmly. "I didn't even move."

  "That was my best hammer!"

  Yue rubbed her temples."Master… maybe you shouldn't touch anything…"

  ***

  The baker, desperate for salvation, tried his luck."Just knead it lightly! Please! My business depends on this!"

  Lin Xuan pressed a single finger into the dough.

  The dough unched like a cannonball, pstering itself onto the ceiling and expanding like a monstrous, growing bread parasite.

  A child screamed.

  The baker screamed louder.

  Yue nearly cried."Why are we like this, Master…?"

  Eventually, vilgers gathered in the square for an emergency meeting.

  "If he sweeps the floor, the house might colpse!"

  "If he cooks, the kitchen will explode!"

  "If he breathes, something might die!"

  Lin Xuan cleared his throat. Instant silence.

  "So," he decred, "you do not want me to work?"

  Every vilger shook their head so violently it was a miracle none snapped their necks.

  Yue bowed in apology."My master is… adjusting. Please be patient."

  "PATIENT?!" the bcksmith wailed. "My hammer is broken!"

  The baker pointed upward. "My ceiling has dough!"

  The farmer sobbed."My crops reached enlightenment!"

  Lin Xuan nodded solemnly. "Very well. I will refrain from working."

  The vilgers colpsed in relief.

  As he prepared to leave, the same little girl from earlier tugged his sleeve.

  "Sir Lin… what do you really seek?"

  Her innocent eyes actually made him pause.

  "Human emotion," he answered quietly. "I have lived too long. In the Divine Realm… my emotions faded, consumed by my own existence. Now, I feel nothing except overwhelming boredom."

  "I wish to experience something simple… like excitement."

  The girl smiled brightly. "Then I'll cheer for you!"

  Everyone stared at her.

  Lin Xuan blinked.

  "…Interesting."

  For the first time in ages… he felt something warm.

  Perhaps she had just enlightened an immortal.

  He stretched his arms. "If I cannot work, then I will seek excitement instead."

  Yue stared at him, amazed. "Master… that almost sounded reasonable."

  "Yes," he said proudly.

  Then, a nearby house colpsed from leftover divine pressure.

  Yue screamed. Vilgers wailed.

  Lin Xuan sighed. "This may take longer than expected."

  But for the first time in a very long time…

  He didn't mind.

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