Chapter 388

  Excuse Me!

  Nothing good ever comes from ignoring people for bureaucracy.

  Especially when you ignore magical people that are currently using magic and powers that you have never seen before. Using them in such a way that they are officially recognized as the most powerful force ever released upon Biprism.

  Sometimes I get distracted by the minor details, and I miss the important parts. It started simple, but somehow I chose to support bureaucracy over what was really important. No, over who is really important. I know that now, just as I realize in the immortal words of Raygunnr, “we really messed that one up.”

  Sadly, he was not wrong, especially as I was currently in the process of both nodding my head while regrowing a translucent cockpit door for Raygunnr. An act that I can do, but also did not expect that I would have to do. Correction, I had anticipated this likely happening as we were currently in fierce martial competitions built around the idea of fighting and eliminating opponents to go on to further rounds. The issue in this case came from the fact that the door was ripped off as part of what could be called friendly fire, though the act was not friendly at the least.

  “Yes,” I reply, not really knowing how else to respond to the comment while oddly using my Robealing magic to magically regrow a new and improved sealing cockpit door for Raygunnr. I know it works, when the hiss applies and we are no longer impacted by the cold vastness of space.

  Yes, the act that could almost be called sabotage was conducted right before we were summoned to space. Well not actual space, as this Teleportation field didn’t extend that far, fortunately, as it allowed me to instantly fill our empty cockpit with air by using Arcane Geomancy to connect the cockpit to a part of the world that my Simulacrums have converted to be healthy, which is a surprisingly large swath of the world, making the connection attempt easier than expected. As for how I kept from suffocating upon being summoned out here to space, well I had the fortune of having my current suit being the top of the line space suit developed by the very person who ripped off Raygunnr’s cockpit door.

  “You are going to tell her the truth, once we get back, aren’t you?” Raygunnr asks.

  “The truth?” I respond, and momentarily pause my healing efforts as I try to understand exactly what Raygunnr is getting at.

  “Oh come on. We have been linked together so long now that if you don’t tell her the truth, I will tell her for you,” Raygunnr threatens, though I can tell from our sympathetic bond that he means every word he is saying to me.

  As he threatens me, I pause wondering what exactly he is talking about. Then I think about the event, well series of events that got us to this point where I was almost disqualified from competing before our match was officially called. Fortunately, we were still in the waiting zone, before the match, while I was doing an emergency repair efforts, and thus not able to be disqualified due to faulty machinery at the start of a match. The only saving grace and reason why Raygunnr and I are still up and able to compete in these final few matches.

  “What would you tell her?” I ask, as my mind goes blank as I can’t even think about what response I had been giving off to make Raygunnr respond in such a way. Yet, I can tell from his conviction that he is telling the truth.

  Now that the hard part is done, and the immediate repair work and recalibration of extra oxygen is present in the cockpit, I can think. Which lets my mind go back to when this all started. Ten minutes ago, my time, or what was apparently ten seconds ago server time.

  ***

  (Ten Minutes Ago My Time, Or Ten Seconds Ago Server Time)

  We were at the height of bureaucracy filling out forms. Forms that would finally allow me access to my money. Well, this wasn’t entirely true, as I had already filled out my form and had it magically recalled back to Mallory’s possession. Now I was filling out the form for Raygunnr, which I wanted to do quickly as we had Mallory staring at us and waiting for us to finish this process before we were summoned back to our next match.

  A match that had been temporarily postponed due to a temporary paradox created by Penelope, my most impressive student.

  The first few questions were easy to fill out, especially as long as I had known Raygunnr. Smiling, I realized this was the perfect chance to get one on Raygunnr, which was why I decided to ask for more invasive questions than were strictly warranted.

  “Tell me your mother’s maiden name?” I begin going for the old phishing scam item asked. But then I get a mischievous smile as I change it up slightly as I can almost feel my need to tell the truth kicking in. While I wasn’t necessarily lying, it was close enough to cause a faint strain on my soul that made me feel like I was close to lying. That’s when I altered my question, slightly, “that or better still, tell me your mother’s Iron Maiden nickname?”

  I was expecting a laugh or at least a “what?” but instead, all I got was far more questions than the singular answer I had originally began with.

  “How did you know she was an Iron Maiden groupie?” Raygunnr asked in Mana Language, a language so dry that I still can’t quite tell sarcasm yet. That or Raygunnr is just so deadpan that he doesn’t add any emotion to his words, even through our shared connection.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yeah, her groupie name was Puma Stack, on account of her acting like a puma and being stac—”

  “Stop! Just stop!” I immediately reply, cutting him off and realizing that sometimes people can’t take a joke. That was all the rationale I needed to press forward with my task and try to fill out this form as quickly as possible. With a flurry, I fill out this form on behalf of Raygunnr, with Mallory herself acting as witness to his consent for me filling out the form, and it is done.

  “Excuse me,” a faint voice calls out, but the voice is cut off as Mallory summons back the form to her hand and proceeds to give a mandatory speech.

  “Now, this is not an access form for me, or for Dr. Spiritlight on your behalf. But these are general forms that are used to grant you both initial access to your accounts. At the time of your first appearance at the bank, you will be granted a soul bound access card that will grant you future accesses. By turning this in, you have begun the process of gaining the meeting that can be used to generate that soul bound access card to your personal accounts,” an entire speech done in Mallory’s voice, but the lifeless voice one would give when saying information that is the most soul breaking to ever have to admit to. Just hearing her drone on about the details I feel like I’ve literally wasted an hour of my life that I will never get back.

  This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

  Then almost to add insult to injury, I feel the slimiest quest get created for me.

  Seeing the quest, I just pause as I am confused why there is so much security needed to just get into this bank. Then I make the pointed mistake of asking just that very question, not even realizing I am speaking my mind directly.

  “I don’t know, maybe it has something to do with the fact that an expert Thief is in the area and they want to put up as many preventative measures in place to prevent said thief from stealing everyone’s prized possessions,” Raygunnr comments. As he responds, Mallory nods her head clearly showing that she can speak Mana Language, she just generally pretends to ignore Raygunnr’s comments, something I should try doing myself.

  “Yes, and I should warn you all that the soul bound access cards have a proximity monitoring tracker in them that can help determine your innocence in the case that there is a break in, as it can confirm that you were not near the bank at the time of any robberies,” Mallory comments.

  Hearing that, my mind begins to light up, as all I can think is challenge accepted, as I can easily just give the soul bound item to one of my Simulacrums. Or better still have one or three of my Simulacrums work in tandem to pull off the heist while I am clearly shown as being away and therefore innocent.

  “Oh, you’ve got her naughty side going. I can tell she is already working out ways around such detections,” Raygunnr replies diming me out before I even get a chance to see if my theories on how I could rob a supposedly impenetrable bank could work.

  “Um, excuse me,” the somewhat meek voice cries out again, this time with a bit more intensity, letting me know that Penelope is the one talking. Though my recognizing her comments does little to quell the conversation that is happening right here in front of me. I open my mouth to respond to Penelope, but am cut off by Mallory before I can utter any words in my defense or in acknowledgement of Penelope’s growing impatience.

  “Don’t worry, we have had months to come up with countermeasures, employing many of her own students to help with detecting different magical signatures,” Mallory begins, then turns to face Penelope as she continues, “isn’t that right Penelope.”

  With that all three of us turn to face Penelope, who looks simultaneously flustered and impatient.

  “What? Ye-yes I worked on the stupid detections, but—” is all Penelope could get out before Mallory continued, seemingly trying to antagonize me and tick off Penelope in one go.

  “See, now we will see if the Master can outwork the Apprentice,” Mallory all but taunts me. I can almost feel the effects of a hidden quest forming and wrapping around my mind. The quest feels like it is about to form, but that’s when a visibly irate Penelope snaps.

  “I said, EXCUSE ME!” Penelope speaks, but as she does, a weight and force flows behind her words giving her a weight and presence that is impossible to ignore. Seeing her, I realize something is off, as her hair begins to rise and swish about in the wind as she seems to be radiating waves of energy. Seeing her so focused and demanding that people acknowledge her fills me with a sense of pride and something more as I look at her. There is something else, something that makes me feel drawn to her in a way I never have felt before. That’s when I remember her exceptional use of an form of energy and take a quick look around at the dome of protection that she has created around us. Seeing the dome, I realize that it is already starting to fracture and wane, but despite that it is doing a phenomenal job of somehow forcing the rest of the world to pause and wait while we work out our guild bank access request forms. That’s when I realize that this reason for stopping time makes no sense, as she clearly couldn’t have predicted that Raygunnr and I would need to fill out forms during this time out. Unless the force was related to self fulfilling prophecies? That is my thought as to why Penelope stopped time, fortunately she then proceeds to clarify.

  Moving quickly, far faster than I’ve ever seen Penelope move on her own, she seems to flash forward. Well, not flashing forward as she proceeds to use more of that odd energy, this time directing it into force that propels her forward. Again, not self-fulfilling prophecy energy as I think that would be bluish, but I still don’t know what it could be. Then moving directly in front of me, well Raygunnr and me, she stops her momentum and proceeds to stare up and lock gazes with me. Actually, I feel my eyes drawn to hers, almost as if her eyes were blackholes that all but forced my eyes to stare directly into hers. An act that is both pointless and seemingly unavoidable, but I stare at her nonetheless and again am intrigued by the utter look of focus that fills her while she is coursing with this odd energy. Watching her, I almost miss the moment that she speaks and all but compels an honest answer from me.

  “You owe me an answer,” Penelope demands, her power radiating off of her in waves. Waves that wash over me and all but force me to come up for air and provide the answer that to the question she is asking.

  There is just one problem. Well two problems. The first problem is that since she is the conduit for this odd energy and the dome over us, she is causing the dome to deteriorate faster by forcing me to answer this question with her power, sort of like burning a candle from two ends at once. The second problem is that I have no clue what question she is referring to that I need to provide an answer for.

  “What answer?” I ask honestly; my body being compelled more so than usual to answer truthfully. Maybe this was an effect of this power in general, some type of truth energy? If so, that would explain why it is so foreign to me. But that makes no sense that the truth would be the greatest force in the world? My mind is trying to think of what she is talking about, but all I come up with are blanks.

  “Grr!” Penelope shakes the world. Well, she grunts annoyedly as if I am purposefully trying to draw for time or avoid answering her question, which only causes the surge of power radiating off of her to intensify. Now what had been a strong suggestion to answer truthfully now feels like a giant vice grip wrapping around me and all but squeezing an honest answer from me.

  “You said that you couldn’t love Rahul for you already loved someone else,” Penelope declares. As she speaks, I recall that moment. It was an event that happened just before Penelope managed to stop time, thereby automatically summoning Mallory and starting the chain of events that led us to here. Remembering that point I remember what she is talking about and I feel compelled to answer truthfully, which I do.

  “Yes.”

  “Yes what?”

  “Yes, I remember,” I manage to get out, the tension over my stomach loosening for just a second before Penelope seems to radiate a wave of anger and violent force.

  Penelope blurs forward, her hand grabbing the Raygunnr’s external hatch and lifting upward to get closer to me. The motion seems small, what one would do to enter a car door, yet the final effect is far greater as she is all jacked up on this odd truth telling power that makes her super-fast, super strong, and somehow able to stop time. I almost don’t believe all these effects could happen from one source of power, but then I am once again reminded that this is apparently the most powerful force in the world and am still trying to wrap my head around what exactly this power is and is capable of.

  “Tell me!” Penelope demands, as she comes into the cockpit and gets close. There is just one problem, as she entered, she broke the vacuumed shut seal, and ended up ripping the cockpit door off its hinge.

  “AHHHHHH!” Raygunnr cries out in pain, as his giant mechanical hand goes up to grab at the open wound, the part of his body where the hinges for the cockpit door once stood and are now spraying bursts of Mana and Qi wildly into the air.

  “What? Oh, sorry—” a frightened Penelope cries out as she sees that clear pain that Raygunnr is in, and only now realizes that she is holding up the unattached door as if it weighed nothing. Again, her body seems to be empowered by a factor of ten at the least. Fortunately, with her focus now on the door and off of me, the intense squeezing pressure that had been bearing down on me earlier and compelling an honest answer was now gone. That’s when I breathe a sigh of relief and then comment.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I-I don’t know, I just—”

  “That’s like ripping off all of his fingernails at once,” I reply trying to explain just what she did.

  “I, I’m sorry,” Penelope stammers out, as she takes a step back and drops the door not even allowing us to reattach it. With her focus in tatters, the crumbling effect of the dome around us begins to increase as it is clear that this pocket that is protected from time will not last forever at this rate. Even the fire and intensity that had been burning so brightly within Penelope is mostly faded as the seemingly inexhaustible energy is gone and it is clear that time is about to revert to normal. Even now I can see the strings tied to the forced Teleportation spell humming to life and extending out to claim Raygunnnr and me and force us away to our next scheduled match. Realizing that everything is about to go to pot, I quickly tighten the seals on my space suit, before I begin trying to heal the damage caused by the broken cockpit door. At this point, it would be a lot easier and more sanitary to just regrow a new door, especially as the last door was just thrown onto the ground and left to get infected. Not that I exactly know what could infect a sentient mechanoid unit, but at this point I don’t want to risk anything for these matches given how close we are. That’s why I almost miss Penelope’s desperate plea at the end.

  “Please tell me,” Penelope cries out desperately. That’s when I reply, only half listening as I am desperately trying to regrow a cockpit door that seals properly for our next space battle.

  “What?”

  “Please tell me, who do you love?” Penelope asks, the last force of her waning power going into compelling me to respond to look at her. That’s when I look up, and locking gazes with her I see and know the answer. I open my mouth to respond, and that’s when the world that had been forced to stop, suddenly springs to life with an angry vengeance, reaching out with its spell tentacles. Tentacles that snake out and strike at Raygunnr and myself, grabbing us and flipping us forward in space.

  “What are you going to tell Penelope, once we get back?” Raygunnr asks. Part of me wants to lie, or at least misrepresent the truth, but I can’t. No, not just that, I don’t want to lie, not about this, which is why I answer the only way I can.

  “When we get back, I am going to tell her the truth. That I love . . .”

  February 23rd, 2026!