— CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT —

  Deep Fried and Lightly Battered

  (Percival)

  "Liz, on your right!"

  Liz snapped her head right, then dove left, rolling behind a column as a streak of black fire jetted up from the ground, missing her by inches.

  The flames weren't just dark; they consumed light and heat, creating a vacuum-like chill that fought against the torches lining the walls and columns of the Citadel's entrance hall. They consumed the whole room - up the seams of the cracked marble walls, leaking from the tiles of the mosaic on the floor, crawling up the columns, and trailing in the wake of the creature at the center of it all: the Black Knight.

  It was the last boss between us and the Citadel's main door. The thing rose from a sea of its own fire, easily standing a good two dozen feet tall. Its armor gleamed with an anti-light, absorbing the glow of the torches around us. It wielded a greatsword in one hand as if the massive blade weighed nothing at all.

  "Trevor, behind the pillar!" I called out, watching him scramble away from another gout of flames streaking through the seams in the floor tiles.

  We were sequestered into one corner of the room, trapped by a pair of fire walls that had divided the hall into thirds. With me were Liz and Trevor. In another section, Lancelot was occupying the Knight's attention, and the rest of the FUN Rangers were scattered between the sections, coordinating attacks where possible.

  But we weren't alone in the fight. Grey appeared on the balcony of the floor above us.

  "Got one coming!" he called out.

  "We're ready for it!" I shouted back.

  Nox and Quartz ran out of a hallway behind Grey, carrying between them an elongated crystal that shimmered with iridescent light. Without hesitation, they rushed to the railing and heaved the crystal over the side.

  I didn't waste a second. Drawing a greataxe from my belt, I primed the leap skill and launched myself into the air. I snagged the crystal in midair, dropping the greataxe in the process. For a split-second, I felt like I was floating - then the world yanked me backward as if someone had tied a rope around my waist.

  Napoleon, in the same section as Lance, had grabbed me with Telekinesis. First slowing the lunge of the leap, he then jerked me back directly into the Knight's faceplate.

  I braced the crystal, aiming the sharp, oblong end toward the gap in the Knight's visor. Napoleon's telekinetic push accelerated me forward, and I rammed the crystal directly into the target. The crystal shrieked as it made contact, then was ripped from my hands by the force of the impact. I tumbled away, rolling across the floor until I slammed into a pillar.

  Behind me, a burst of white light filled the entire chamber. The light poured from the crystal embedded in the Knight's visor, beating back the darkness of the black fire. Warmth flooded into the room, fighting against the cold void of the flames. They receded, then flickered out completely for a moment, leaving nothing but the dying embers and the Knight standing limply at the center, its sword drooping to the floor.

  "That's sub-10%!" Willard called out. "We need one more hit!"

  Then the Knight twitched. Its head lurched up, left, right - then snapped back into place. Its wrist bent backward, waving the sword with wild, erratic jerks, and it straightened up to its full height.

  With a single stomp, the cracks in the floor re-ignited, and this time, four walls of flame rose, dividing the room into quarters. At the same time, small packets of fire broke away from the walls, snaking around the mosaic to chase after us. And, starting at the 12 o'clock position, small slices of the mosaic began to flare up with fire, the pattern rotating clockwise around the room. The entire arena went from zero to bullet hell in a second.

  In our section, Trevor, Lance, and I were trapped with the Knight itself. We started running around the room's support pillars, using them as shields while kiting the boss in circles. It was all good on our end.

  "We need a healer in the northeast!" Fritz shouted.

  Napoleon and I were both capable of healing, so we didn't need both of us in the same section. He was perfectly capable of handling things if Lance got hit.

  "I'll get it!" I shouted. "Lance, boost me!"

  Lance nodded. I taunted the boss, drawing its attention long enough for Lance to position himself near the fire wall dividing us from the northeast corner. He crouched down, interlacing his fingers to create a foothold.

  I sprinted toward him, timing my approach to avoid the rotating floor hazards. As I reached Lance, I stepped into his nested hands. With a grunt of effort, he launched me upward. Add in a little telekinetic boost from Nap, I got just enough height to clear the barrier.

  I landed hard, faceplanting into the floor. My hands hit the tiles, and a second later, the mosaic beneath me started glowing. I rolled left, barely clearing the wedge of fire as it rotated through my landing zone.

  "Nice of you to drop in." Fritz said, hauling me up by the back of my robe. His own shirt was half-charred, but his health was full.

  In the far corner, Carla was crouched over Mr. Boots, who lay on the floor making a noise somewhere between a meow and a dying foghorn. The tiger's whole back half was engulfed in black flames, and its health bar was ticking down quickly.

  "You called me over to heal your pet?!" I yelled.

  "Yes!" Carla said, cuddling the tiger's head.

  "We've got actual people in danger, Carla!"

  "He's in pain!"

  "He'll respawn! He's not even doing anything in this fight!"

  Carla glared at me. "And you're just standing there! You could have saved him already!"

  I groaned, making the hand signs for a cleanse spell. A ripple of blue light flickered across the tiger's body, dousing the fire and halting the health loss. Carla immediately patted his side and whispered, "There you go, Mr. Boots. I told you it was going to be fine."

  "Are you happy now?" I asked. "Glad I jumped over a wall of fire to heal your cat?"

  "Yes! Thank you!"

  Fritz spawned a joint of dreamleaf from one of his belt pouches, holding it out into the path of a passing fire wave to light it. The smoke twisted black and blue as he took a deep drag.

  "Chill, Perce; we got this one down pat." He coughed violently on the corrupted smoke. "Oh, that is spicy!"

  He offered the joint to me, but I shook my head. "Don't say it's under control until it's actually over."

  A voice shouted from above: "Incoming!"

  I looked up to see Matsen crouched on the railing two floors up, ducking low as a glob of blackness hurled over his head and dropped toward us. It was one of the shadow monsters from the upper hallways. It hit the floor with a wet slap, then dissolved into a swirling puddle, oozing toward our feet.

  I stepped in front of Fritz, drew my wand, and started channeling a flamethrower. The blob recoiled, then split into two, inching around the edges of the fire cone. They didn't like fire, but it wasn't enough to kill them outright.

  "Liz, I need a flashlight!" I shouted.

  A second later, a flashlight came whizzing over the fire wall, bouncing once before Fritz caught it. He clicked it on, and the beam instantly froze the leading blob in place - the thing writhed under the harsh white light, then curled up like a salted snail.

  "Keep it there." I said, and shut off the spell. "Hey, Carla, put the flashlight in your cat's mouth and tell it to watch that thing."

  She didn't even hesitate. "Mr. Boots, hold this," she said, shoving the flashlight between the tiger's jaws. It clamped down and turned to stare at the blob, which quivered but did not move. The other blob, lacking a flashlight beam, slithered away behind a column.

  "There you go - we finally found a use for you." I told the tiger.

  Carla hugged the cat's neck. "Don't listen to him; he's just a sourpuss."

  On the balcony, Matsen peered over the rail, sweat streaking down his face. "We've got the crystal coming! Get ready!"

  Liz's voice carried over the fire: "I've got this one!"

  A sharp metallic thunk, and a grappling claw shot up from below, clamping onto the second-floor railing. The cord reeled in, and Liz rocketed up, grabbing the rail with one hand as her feet dangled below. She didn't stop - the next moment, she aimed the claw at the massive chandelier hanging above the entry hall and fired. It latched, but she didn't swing yet.

  A couple of Matsen's crew arrived next to him, huffing and carrying another light crystal. They hoisted it over the rail and dropped it into the room. Liz judged the trajectory, then leapt away from the railing, catching the crystal out of the air and swinging over the room in a wide arc.

  Now she was hanging in the air, clutching a two-foot-long iridescent crystal, and had no way of reaching the Knight. Below, the boss was stalking around Lance's corner of the room, sword trailing sparks as it carved slow circles in the floor.

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  "Uh, can you guys bring it over here?!" Liz yelled.

  Napoleon called back, "Just let go! I'll TK it in!"

  Liz shouted, "I'm not letting you steal my glory!"

  While they argued, Fritz leaned against a pillar and said, "This one's goin' smooth."

  "Stop saying that." I told him.

  Eventually, Liz started pumping her legs to build up a swing in the boss' direction. Lance and Trevor moved to corral the Knight closer to the center, so Liz's path would carry her right over its head.

  Finally, she let go of the cord, twisting in the air to line up her shot. At the peak of her arc, she hurled the crystal down.

  Nap caught it with Telekinesis, then spiked it like a volleyball. The crystal drilled straight through the Knight's helmet, lodging in the smoking cavity behind the visor. For half a second, nothing happened.

  Then the light went off, and the whole room exploded in a corona of pastel blue-pink-white fire.

  The shockwave hit like a pressure hose, blasting away the smoke and fire, stripping every trace of the Knight's corruption from the Citadel. For one glorious instant, the entry hall was filled with sunlight so pure it seemed like the stained glass in the front wall had melted open and let heaven in. Every torch and sconce guttered out, and the only sound left was the hiss of cooling stone.

  When the light faded, the Knight was still standing there, dead center of the mosaic, sword tip resting on the floor. It tried to step forward, but its movements were slow and sticky, like the machinery inside had been flooded with glue. Sizzling black goop oozed from the gaps in its armor, then fell away in clumps. The Knight's knees buckled, it fell to one side, and the entire suit of armor clattered to the ground and shattered. The pieces dissolved into glittering blue dust.

  Up above, Liz hung for a moment from the chandelier, then triggered the extension on the grappling claw and gracefully descended to the floor. She stuck the landing, reeled in the claw, and raised her fists in victory.

  "Woo! That's what I'm talking about, guys! Good job!"

  The balconies filled up instantly. Grey, Matsen, Siegfried, and the rest of the minor guilds' raiders poured in, crowding the rails and shouting down to the ground floor. The instant people saw the Knight was dead, the cheers doubled in volume. Some started throwing hats, which was fun until a full steel barbute smashed into the ground next to Trevor, who yelped and hid behind a column.

  Grey cupped his hands and shouted, "Loot the thing already!"

  Liz jogged over and kicked the dust pile, which triggered the loot distribution. A ring of golden light burst from the spot, and then people were frantically checking their UIs, whooping and showing off new gear. Fireworks rocketed out from the balustrades, showering the balconies in multicolored sparks. Above the stage, a series of flaming letters spelled out: 'The Black Knight, Captain of the King's Guard, has been Vanquished.'

  "Nine for nine down here!" Willard shouted. "How you looking, Grey?"

  "Second floor team is ace!" Grey replied.

  "We're alive on third!" Matsen called.

  Siegfried, four floors up, shouted, "Ladies and gentlemen, that's the first deathless boss kill in the Vanguard's history!"

  The third round of cheering was even louder than the first two, and now people were hurling gloves, empty potion vials, and a single half-eaten chicken leg.

  Quartz hollered, "Who was doubting?! We knew we could do it better than the rest!"

  Lucy walked across the floor to join Fritz and I on the sidelines.

  She smiled. "The training paid off."

  "Can I be smug now?" Fritz grinned at me.

  "Go for it."

  He snapped his fingers. "Of course it did! Ain't no shot we're losing to a guy like that!"

  I glanced over the remains of the Knight. "That's boss number 30. How many more do you think there are?"

  Lucy put a finger to her lips, thinking. "This wing was scaled for level 30 to 40. Assuming a linear growth, we will hit the level cap of 100 at boss 90."

  Fritz said, "One third? Could be worse."

  "And the pace is picking up." I added. "The first boss took us a month to kill, the 10th was just under two months, 20th was what, 39 days, and now it's only been 37 to 30th?"

  "We're gonna have to find a way to spend all this money before we get out of here." Fritz said.

  Lucy replied, "Let's stay on our budget until we have a clearer picture of how long this is going to take."

  The rest of the raid was trickling down from the upper floors now, filling the entry hall with laughter, shouting, and the occasional wrestling match as people showed off or argued over new loot. At the base of the Citadel's main doors, Willard, Grey, Matsen, and Siegfried were lined up. The doors were still sealed with a cage of thick iron bars running from floor to ceiling.

  Willard glanced around. "Anyone got any ideas on this one?"

  "I found a lever!" Noxiel shouted from a closet beside the door. He was wrestling with a giant, rusted lever that didn't want to budge.

  A handful of people ran over to help, and together they heaved the lever down. With a massive CLUNK, the bars started dropping away - first the outside pair, then the next, cascading down one by one until the doors stood unguarded.

  Grey raised his sword. "Charge!"

  The entire raid let out a battle cry and surged forward, pushing open the heavy doors and spilling out into the dusk beyond.

  The landing outside was a circular terrace ringed by stone railings, and beyond it spiraled the twin helix bridges that wove across the dry and wilted gardens. It was a midwinter evening, the sky darkening to a deep cobalt blue and the world hovering at the edge of a rose-gold twilight. What caught us by surprise, however, was the army.

  The entente forces had assembled in full might - soldiers standing shoulder to shoulder along the helix bridges - Resistance infantry in piecemeal armor and thick woolen cloaks, Loyalists gleaming in their parade uniforms.

  The first rows of the upper bridge were packed with engineers and their mechanical toys, all trundling forward on sledges or wagons. The lower bridge was filled with cavalry, horses stomping and snorting and shaking. And at the head of that column, astride a brilliant white warhorse and clad in freshly polished rose-colored plate, was Prince Nicolaus.

  The moment the doors opened, Nicolaus stood in his stirrups and shouted, "They've done it! Now is the moment - let us take back our sanity, our peace! Now is the moment! Forward!"

  The bridges erupted in battle cries. Infantry surged up the ramps; cavalry began cantering along the lower helix, and Nicolaus himself charged at the front, sword raised.

  "Clear the way, adventurers!" he bellowed.

  The entire raid group flattened against the sides of the doorway, trying to look as invisible as possible as the army streamed past. They thundered through the doorway and fanned out in the entry hall, some of the cavalry jumping over the stragglers, including a cowering Trevor.

  Nicolaus reined in and surveyed the ruins of the Knight, the dust, the mosaic on the floor. His gaze lingered a moment, then he nodded to the nearest officer. "Check the doors - see if the way to the throne is open."

  A horseman galloped to a large, reinforced door that would lead into the inner eastern wing of the Citadel and tried it. "They've welded them shut, sir!"

  Nicolaus smiled, completely unphased. "Then it's good we've come prepared. Bring forward the siege lances!"

  Within seconds, the engineers had rolled up the lances - cannonlike devices with a needle-sharp point at the end instead of a muzzle. They wheeled them into position around four sealed doorways - one each on the east and west walls and two more in the back corners. The engineers ratcheted up the mount, and ducked behind the metal blast shields on either side.

  "Be ready for a counterattack!" Nicolaus ordered. "Fire at your ready!"

  Bright colors flashed along channels carved into the lances' bodies, racing toward the tips like liquid lightning. Blues, reds, and golds converged at the pointed ends, building in intensity until the air around them seemed to warp.

  When the energy reached its peak, blindingly bright beams erupted from the tips, shooting across the hall in perfectly straight lines. They struck the sealed doors with a deafening boom that shook dust from the ceiling. The impact points flared with white-hot brilliance.

  The sound of crunching metal reverberating off the stone walls and making my ears ring. When the noise finally subsided, we all held our breath, waiting for the Royalists' counter-attack. The infantry braced behind their shields.

  But nothing came out of the now-open passageways. Smoke rose from the shattered frames, and chunks of stone and metal lay scattered across the floor. No monsters, no ambush. Just a slow silence, like the place was holding its breath.

  "Four open!" the horseman called back.

  Only one doorway remained intact - a massive, ancient archway at the back of the hall, sealed with a large stone door sculpted with a relief. Despite taking direct hits from multiple siege lances, it showed only light burn streaks across its surface.

  Nicolaus narrowed his eyes. "Don't bother with that back one. Spread out! Find the enemy's fortifications and entrench opposite them. Claim as much territory as possible before resistance is met!"

  He turned to a group of scouts at the edge of the hall. "Lady Livitha, send some of your best back the way the adventurers came. Ensure we are not flanked. Then send word to my uncle that he's missing the grand moment."

  Livitha scowled at him, then dashed off, taking her scouts with her.

  The rest of the army began to spill into the wings of the Citadel, fanning out in small squads and setting up barricades, lanterns, and flags at every intersection. Already, the entry hall was being converted into a command post. Tables were dragged in, maps unfurled, and supplies were piled in the corners.

  From the edge of the commotion, Grey called out, "Alright, looks like the cinematic's settling down. Let's head off for the night."

  Willard added, "New content to explore tomorrow!"

  The raid started drifting out in groups, crossing the spiral bridges and heading down into the city below.

  It was still a few hours to curfew, so everyone dispersed out to wherever they wanted to spend their afterparty. For the FUN Rangers, that was our unofficial guild hall. The nine of us retreated to the cafe in the far Eclipse District. Most went straight for the drinks. I wasn't much for socializing, so I took my hot chocolate and found a seat in the corner by the veranda window.

  It was January, so it was still winter, but the Christmas event had ended, so the city had returned to its normal, snowless state. The trees were naked, and the flowers just sprouting up out of the dirt.

  My thoughts drifted back to that conversation with Fritz and Lucy. How much longer was the game going to go on? If our estimates were right, it'd take us about another year to finish. Were we really only a third through? I'd already missed my 17th birthday. We'd celebrated Lucy's back at the end of December, but I didn't feel like mentioning mine. Ultimately, that wasn't what I was worried about, though - I didn't have anything to go back to anyway.

  The real question was: Would we be able to finish the game fast enough to avoid any more major problems? With every week, the screws tightened - more patrols, more propaganda, more violence between the Guard and the Fringe. It was only a matter of time before things fell another notch lower. It felt like someone was holding a gun to our heads - and the worst part is it wasn't even the game that was holding it!

  "Hey, Percy!" Fritz called from the center table.

  I turned. Fritz, Carla, and Willard had propped Mr. Boots up in a chair, jammed sunglasses on his nose, and stuffed a cigar in his mouth. A glass of wine was held in his paw.

  "Get over here!" Fritz said, waving me in.

  I gave them a look, but everyone was watching, so I went.

  They'd wedged the tiger into the seat so he was sitting upright, and he was chewing on the cigar.

  "Is this animal abuse?" I asked.

  Fritz motioned me closer, then stepped back and pulled up his menu. "Get in there - it's picture time. Trust me - you're going to hang this photo up in your college dorm, and it's gonna kill. Maximum rizz."

  I saw that I wasn't going to get out of it, so, with a sigh, I moved to stand next to Mr. Boots.

  "Come on, show some camaraderie, Perce!" Fritz called, camera at the ready. "This is an olive branch. You two need to get along better. For the sake of the group's cohesion!"

  I put my arm on his back, and the tiger let out a long, vibrating purr, still chewing the cigar. Just then, Lucy appeared behind me and nudged me even closer to the tiger.

  "Get in snug." she said. "He's just a tiger; he's not going to eat your face."

  Fritz said, "Say 'cheese'!"

  I forced a smile and raised my mug of hot chocolate. But Fritz shook his head.

  "No, too stiff. We need some real emotion here."

  Lucy put a finger to her lips, then snapped her fingers. "I've got it." She pointed at me. "The Guard are doing a great job! We can feel safe in our homes again, thanks to this curfew keeping all the ne'er-do-wells off the streets!"

  I glared at her. Lucy started giggling. Fritz snapped the picture, then checked the photo and immediately started laughing.

  "Oh yeah! Now that is one to show the grandkids!"

  "Oh, can I see?" Lucy asked.

  Fritz showed her his photo album, and Lucy nodded. "That's a good one, yeah."

  I walked over and checked the photo. The party tiger aside, I... was actually smiling. Not a forced grin, but a real one. I had no idea what I was smiling at, but hey, it was a good picture. One I keep on the wall to this day.

  The party continued for another hour, however, because of that oh-so-masterful move of statecraft known as 'the curfew', it wasn't long before we had to pack up and head home for the night. Fritz, Lucy, and I walked most of the way across the city to reach the Nebula District.

  As we dispersed to our rooms, Fritz tapped on the section of wall we hung our boss kill medallions on - three for Oxtongue, one for Lucy's participation in the Stone Sentinel fight, and two for our actions in the Grimm fight. "We need to make room for three more on here." he said.

  Lucy glanced at the medals. "I wonder what the design will be. Fire? A knight?"

  "A flaming knight!" Fritz suggested.

  I said, "We'll find out soon enough. See you tomorrow."