I didn’t move. I didn’t speak. I just sat there on that green carpet with my knees pulled up tightly into my chest and my chin buried deep into Lela’s shoulder. She held me in an unyielding embrace, with her arms locked around me. The warmth of her body radiated into mine. I could smell the soft, sweet, spicy scent of her expensive perfume hanging faintly in the air surrounding her.

  My eyes slowly closed, safe as I was in a protective cocoon of my best friend’s arms.

  Eventually, Lela’s soft voice slipped through the haze, rousing me from the dreamlike state that I had allowed myself to drift into. Blinking, I slowly opened my eyes. The room was no longer shrouded in the gloom of predawn but was now flooded with the crisp, warm light of the early morning. The soft chattering of the birds in the trees drifted in from outside, where a deep blue sky welcomed the new day.

  “You must be hungry? Shall I sort us some breakfast?” Lela released me slightly from her embrace as she spoke.

  I simply nodded as I looked up into her face.

  A shocked gasp escaped my lips! Lela’s dark hair framed the vivid aftermath of my attack on her. Her eye appeared swollen, bloodshot, and half-closed. The surrounding skin, baring the evidence of the violence that I was capable of, was painted a deep blue fading into violent purple. Dried blood clung beneath her nose and at the edge of her mouth.

  Yet despite the damage that I had inflicted, that mouth was drawn up into a wide, loving smile. There was no resentment or blame in the eyes that looked at me. My breath hitched as a sickening wave of guilt hit me like a punch to the gut. The absolute forgiveness that I saw in her struck me harder than any shouting or retaliation could have done.

  The air caught in my throat like a sliver of glass. I had done this! I had hurt the one person who had come for me, the one person in the world who I could rely on.

  “Lela, your eye...” I stumbled over the words. “What have I done? I’m so sorry.”

  Lela flinched backwards slightly, her body tensing as a flicker of fear rippled over her, hesitating as if only just remembering my brutal assault. It lasted only a moment before her shoulders relaxed, and a smile returned to her face. A smile that this time didn’t quite reach her eyes.

  “It’s... It’s ok Heidi. It’s nothing, it’ll heal.”

  “No!” I pushed myself up off the floor. “Let me get you something for it”.

  Rushing across the room, I passed through the doorway into the kitchen. The red quarry tiles were cold and hard under my feet as I dashed across to the white fridge freezer.

  Pulling open the door, I grabbed a bag of frozen peas before closing the freezer and turning, finding Lela standing right behind me.

  “Here, put this on your eye.” I said offering the peas to her.

  “Thanks babe, but I’ll be fine.” Lela said softly while taking the little green bag from me anyway and pressing it to the side of her face. “Look, you don’t need to apologise. You were upset. It’s understandable with everything that you’ve been through. Really, it is me who should be saying sorry. How could I have ever believed that ridiculous story? How could I believe you would go away for that long and not get in touch with me, even once? I should have seen through Lars’ story. I can’t believe that I was so stupid to fall for his lies. I know you better than that. I should have known that something was wrong.”

  A single tear ran down Lela’s cheek. Reaching forward, I gently wiped it away with my finger.

  “It wasn’t just you, Lela.” I said to her, “He lied to everyone. He convinced Magnus Larson that I was crazy. He made out that he had taken me to that cabin for my own good and that he was looking after me there. The only person who didn’t believe him was Kristina, and look what happened to her...”

  “Who’s Kristina?” Lela asked, her eyebrow raising quizzically.

  Kristina’s faced flashed before my eyes at the mention of her name. I saw her emerald eyes staring at me accusingly, her mouth twisting. Her ginger hair framing her pale face in a fierce cascade of fire.

  A sudden shiver wracked my body as the air became cold, and goosebumps raised on my skin. The bright kitchen grew dark. The walls shifted and twisted around me until I was no longer in the Lela’s house. The all too familiar wooden slatted walls surrounded me. I was back there. I was back in that cabin.

  High, shrill screams of panic and agony filled my ears. Over the screams came a deep guttural roar of rage.

  My eyes snagged onto the scene before me. I tried to pull them away, but I couldn’t, they wouldn’t move. I was forced to watch the brutal assault all over again. But this time it wasn’t the Shadow Beast that I saw, and it wasn’t an angel. In front of me were Lars and Kristina. His face was twisted and contorted in rage, his teeth barred.

  I was compelled to watch, as much as I wanted to my eyes were frozen. Lars tangled her hair in his hand, forcing her head down to meet his rising knee. The two connected with a sickening crack, not once but five times.

  Letting go of her hair, Kristina slumped to the floor. Her broken, blood-covered face looked up and me, emerald green eyes seemed to pierce straight through me.

  But that wasn’t enough for Lars. With a deep howl, he pulled back his foot and he kicked her. In the head, in the ribs and stomach. With the frenzied savagery of a rabid beast, he stamped down on her...

  “Heidi!” A voice from somewhere in the distance called my name. “Heidi!”

  The bright morning sun burst in through the kitchen window. The gruesome scene in front of me faded away, but the shock held on inside me.

  “Are you ok?” Her voice was strained with worry.

  Taking deep breaths, my eyes squeezed shut as I forced my breath to steady. I could feel the cold, hard quarry tiles beneath my feet. I was here. I was safe. What I had seen was behind me, an echo from the past. But that’s all that it was, just an echo.

  Nodding slowly, “Just... just some bad memories.” I replied shakily.

  “You’re shivering, Heidi” Lela said, lightly placing a hand on my shoulder. “Do you want to sit down? I can get you a cup of tea?”

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  My head felt heavy, shaking slowly from side to side.

  “Ok, babe! Look, you know that I’m here with you through all of this. But you don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t feel comfortable telling.” She smiled, gently stroking my arm as she spoke.

  “I think I just need to get cleaned up, I’m filthy. Do you mind if I get a shower?”

  “Of course you can! I’m so sorry, that’s the first thing I should have offered you.” Lela replied without another mention of Kristina.

  Suddenly she blinked, her forehead creasing into a frown as if she had seen me for the first time. Her eyes focused on the blood that stained my sweater and trousers, Kristina’s blood. “Are you sure that you’re not hurt? I can drive you to the hospital to get you checked over?”

  “It’s fine, Lela. Honestly, it looks far worse than it is.”

  “Ok, babe, as long as you’re sure. You go and get a shower. Feel free to help yourself to some clean clothes from my wardrobe. We can’t have you going around in a grubby tracksuit, can we?” A playful twinkle had returned to her good eye as she spoke those last words. The other eye was still covered by the frozen peas that she still had pressed firmly against it.

  How did she do it? Even with the mark of my outburst still throbbing and stinging her face, how was she still able to be so kind? I knew that I would never have been able to so quickly forget an attack like that. I doubt that I’ve ever held the sort of love and compassion in my heart to be able to offer such immediate and unconditional forgiveness.

  Leaving the kitchen, I made my way upstairs and into the bathroom, forcing the terrifying vision I had seen just moments ago, out of my head.

  Twisting the chrome handle, the water roared from the shower head, instantly filling the room with steam.

  The shower felt amazing. The warm water slammed into body, cleansing the filth and gore that marked those final few violent hours of my confinement.

  White bubbles lathered on my skin, the sweet scent of wild roses filling the shower cubicle, rising from the shower gel that I enthusiastically rubbed over myself. The clean, warm aroma replaced the stale odour of my own unwashed body.

  Leaning my head backwards, I felt the water splashing on my face and running into my long blonde hair.

  The water pooled around my feet, a rusty pink colour that swirled before disappearing down the plug and with it went all the horrors that had haunted me.

  I scrubbed at my skin, scouring off the dirt, the blood and the memories. Watching them all swirl around my feet before vanishing down the drain. I didn’t allow myself to stop until the water ran clear. Then I just stood there and let the water tumble over me, helplessly giggling at the delightful sensation.

  I turned off the tap, the torrent of water ending with a sudden jolt and then, stepping out of the shower, I placed a foot on the smooth vinyl floor. Stepping over my old clothes that now lay discarded in a small bundle, I grabbed the single white bath towel from a silver hook on the wall and dried myself. The towel felt amazing, it was soft and warm with the sweet smell of fabric softener.

  Once dry, I wrapped myself in the towel and stepped out onto the narrow landing. The walls were covered in the same pine panelling as downstairs, and the green carpet continued up the stairs and onto the floor here. I wriggled my toes, the carpet felt warm and soft beneath my bare feet.

  The landing was lit by a small window that looked out onto the front lawn. Under the window stood a small brown table, on which was a red glass vase. The morning sun shone in through the window, catching the vase and scattering red reflections across the facing wall.

  Three other doors led off from the landing. The one directly in front of me led to Lela’s bedroom and the other two to what used to be her dad’s bedroom and to the room that he had used as an office.

  Pushing open the door, I stepped into Lela’s bedroom.

  It was exactly as I had always remembered it. The walls were a patchwork of music posters, some curling away at the edges. Guns ‘n’ Roses dominated the far end of the room. The stage lights silhouetted Slash, bent over his Les Paul guitar, while the bandanna wearing figure of Axl Rose belted out powerful vocals into the mic. Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard, Aerosmith, as well as a handful of local bands... they all stared down at me from the walls that were a who’s who of the eighties and early nineties rock music.

  My eyes snagged on a corkboard hanging on the opposite wall. It bristled with photos, ticket stubs, handwritten notes and sketches, all pinned in place with brightly coloured drawing pins. It was a chaotic clutter that mapped out Lela’s life.

  There was the strip of little square photos we had taken together, squeezed into a photo booth. Pictures of the two of us enjoying nights out in the city. There was the green beer mat that on the back of, I had sketched out ideas of Arctic Howl logos.

  All of a sudden, a cold, sharp pain seized my chest. There were other things too. Cinema passes with names of films that I didn’t recognise. Gig stubs with bands I didn’t know. Photos too which didn’t include me. One in particular caught my attention, Lela and Asmund’s younger sister, Ingrid. Captured under the lights of a party, with their arms slung around each other, their heads thrown back in laughter.

  Lela’s life had marched on without me. A summer of parties had passed me by. Christmas, New Year, our birthdays, celebrations that had come and gone while my life had been held at a standstill.

  I made a vow to myself then, that I would never lose her again.

  Walking over to the dressing table beside the head of her bed, I looked down at the items scattered over its surface. Various lipsticks littered the surface. Bright reds and pinks, bold and vibrant colours that were so very Lela. Mixing amongst them were a couple of more subtle colours, peach and light coral. Her perfume in its smooth, round bottle, with the word, Dior, standing out in simple black lettering. A couple of books, Hammer of the Gods. And another that brought a small smile to my face, Jane Eyre, a little sentimental for Lela, I remember thinking to myself.

  Besides the makeup and perfume, another small item caught my eye. A small black cassette tape, the familiar wolf’s head logo stood out in while, above the title ‘Arctic Howl- EP1 Nordisk Skrik’, Nordic Scream.

  Picking it up, the smooth plastic case felt warm in my palm. Turning it over in my hand, a bubbling feeling began to swell in my chest, and at the same time a giggle spilt from my mouth.

  They had done it! For so long, Lela and Asmund had spoken about recording an EP, and they had finally done it.

  Then the weight of the plastic changed. It became heavy, rough and cold. Recording that EP would have been a cornerstone in Lela’s life. A victory, a success that she had worked towards for so long. She had realised that dream, but to me it was just another thing that I had missed.

  The bubbling pride that I had been feeling drained away, leaving only the cold, empty void of loneliness.

  Placing the cassette back down on the dressing table, I made my way over to her large oak wardrobe.

  Swinging open the doors, I looked inside. Thumbing through a rail of jeans and leather trousers, my hand came to rest on a pair of blue stonewashed denim, the knees torn but not quite as much as Lela’s others.

  After pulling those on and doing up the buttons, I slid open her drawer, pulled out the first t-shirt that my hands fell on. A large, faded black shirt with Bon Jovi emblazoned on the back. Pulling that over my head, it was a little too big for me, swallowing me just enough to feel comforting. Swinging the damp towel over my shoulder, I stepped back out onto the landing and made my way back down to the kitchen.

  As I walked back into the kitchen, Lela looked up at me, an appreciative smile spreading across her face. The room seemed to brighten as I saw that smile, the morning sun poured in radiantly, the colours were suddenly becoming more vivid. I remember marvelling to myself just how beautiful Lela was, even with an eye that was swollen and purple.

  “Hey babe! I never thought I would see you dressed up like a rock chick. It looks good. It suits you.” Her voice laughing sweetly as she spoke.

  Glancing down at myself, she was right. My clothes were usually designed to be a little more... eye catching shall we say?

  “You’re looking much better after that shower.” She continued. “I guess I should probably do the same. I must look a mess. But I suppose I have got an excuse though, someone did wake me up at silly o’clock and make me drive out to the middle of who knows where to pick them up.” Giggling, she placed a couple of plates onto the table, beside two steaming mugs of coffee.

  Pulling up a chair, I sat at the table. A slice of dark brown rye bread topped with a piece of golden caramel brunost sat on a plate in front of me. Beside the bread were slices of cheese and ham.

  “Thank you so much, Lela!” I said, looking her in the eyes while devouring the breakfast that she had prepared for me.

  The flavours were amazing. The dark, rich, nutty rye bread and the sweet, buttery brunost seemed to dance on my tongue. The cheese and ham were like nothing that I had tasted before. Then of course there was the hot, bittersweet maltiness of the coffee. When was the last time that I had been able to really enjoy a breakfast like this? Yes, there had been times when Lars had been kind, when he had given me luxuries, but there had always been a catch. He had always wanted something from me in return.