Lia was doing badly.

  It didn’t take a doctor to see it, though Amy was more qualified than any on the planet. She wasn’t very good at hiding it either, Amy had caught her more than once over the past few days just staring at the wall with tears dripping down her cheeks. Worse, it wasn’t her usual mix of anxiety, mild depression, and poor impulse control either. She was...unstable. Lia had never exactly had the most stable of moods, but lately it seemed to be bouncing all over the place.

  Part of it was probably stress. Going out and doing vigilantism, getting caught, leaving the Wards, it all added up to a nasty cocktail. Then there was the impossibly ugly snarl of memory traces that, every time they lit up, sent Lia spiraling into a panic attack. They had been gone, she’d been cured of whatever was causing it, and now they were back with a vengeance.

  Amy gnawed on the well-worn end of her pen, staring at the paper in front of her. She was supposed to be working on this goddamn essay, in class, so she could spend some extra time at the hospital. Only going twice a week had left her feeling a bit uneasy. No way she’d made up for everything, for anything, yet. The contract to heal PRT officers was well and good, but it wasn’t enough.

  She forced herself to scratch down a few words about the isolation of the CUI, for whatever it mattered. Amy wasn’t totally sure why she was still going to school even. It wasn’t like the PRT or hospital needed a diploma from her, hell she didn’t even need to know about the CUI. All she had to do now was heal people and avoid ever fucking up again until the day she died...sooner or later.

  At least she had Lia, though not if she kept on the downward spiral she’d been on. Amy had to get to the bottom of whatever the fuck was going on. She really didn’t want to use her power on Lia’s brain but, if push came to shove, Amy didn’t want to lose her either. No changes, nothing...major at least, just figuring out the piece of her head that almost hurt to look at.

  It was going to be a pain no question, literally and figuratively. Lia would have to be on board too and if she wasn’t, well...Amy would just have to convince her. She’d put her foot down, no more ‘tomorrows’ from Lia. Amy liked her plenty, enough to give her leeway on a goddamn arson, but Lia wasn’t going to just get better on her own. She didn’t have O’Keefe to counsel her anymore, so it was Amy or no one.

  A sigh escaped her lips as the bell rang. She’d never have expected inviting her one-time lab partner to lunch would have resulted in all this. Amy wasn’t unhappy with how things had turned out, far from it. If Lia wasn’t bullshitting her, and Amy knew she wasn’t, it would have gone worse without her. She owed it to Lia to help. Besides, even if she wasn’t Vicky, Amy cared about her a hell of a lot. That counted for something.

  Amy packed her bag and headed towards the cafeteria. Even though she wasn’t looking forward to making Lia understand she needed her head checked, she found a smile creeping onto her face. She was looking forward to seeing her girlfriend. As much as she was to deal with, Lia was something of a relief as well; a girl she liked who wasn’t related to her.

  The cafeteria was as busy as ever, though Amy was a couple minutes behind most of her classmates so that didn’t help. She got through the line quickly enough, only grabbing a scoop of fries, a couple pieces of fruit, and a granola bar. After that it was a brief jaunt of avoiding people standing in the aisle to find Lia and sit next to her at the lonely corner table they usually shared.

  “Hey,” Lia greeted her with a smile and a quick kiss that made her heart flutter. “How was class.”

  “Fine,” Amy replied, taking Lia’s hand. Telltale signs of a lack of sleep came into her mind, and traces of adrenaline. Lia hadn’t had a nightmare so… “How about for you?” She winced.

  “It was...okay,” she hedged. “Almost flunked a test because I didn’t finish in time so, yeah, not the best but it’s okay now.” Lia’s smile grew, though Amy could tell it was far from genuine.

  “Alright,” she said, letting it go. No point digging into that when she had more important stuff to deal with. “So anyway what—”

  “Mela?”

  Irritated, Amy turned her head to see who’d interrupted their conversation. A chubby, middling-height girl with curly red hair and thick glasses was staring at Lia with wide eyes. Amy glanced at Lia and confirmed what she felt with her power; she’d gone deathly pale. Her heart was racing, and the creeping signs of a bad panic attack were all there.

  “Lia are—”

  “I gotta go.”

  Lia nearly fell over as she scrambled off the bench at the table. Once she’d righted herself, she ran out of the cafeteria. Amy rose from the bench to go after her, but paused and turned back to the carrot top. Who the fuck was she that she made Amy’s girlfriend drop straight into a panic with a single word?

  “Um, hi,” the girl greeted Amy. “Sorry I don’t— I’m not sure why she did that. I’m Beatrix Hawkins, call me Trixie.” Amy studied her extended hand.

  “Amy,” she said tensely, ignoring it. “You know Lia?”

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  “I know Mela,” she countered bitchily. “’Lia’ is what her cunt mom calls her.”

  “It’s what I call her,” Amy snapped. “How do you know her?”

  “She’s my girlfriend.”

  The laughter that echoed through the cafeteria was practically manic. Amy couldn’t help it, this random fat girl walking up to her and saying Lia was her girlfriend? Still, she shouldn’t really be laughing. Lia was currently off panicking on her own, but holy shit. She composed herself quickly enough, meeting Trixie’s furious glare.

  “If she ever was, she’s your ex,” Amy said coldly. She enjoyed the brief note of satisfaction as the girl’s face fell. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go comfort my girlfriend.”

  With that, Amy turned on her heel and stormed off the same way Lia had gone. That at least explained her girlfriend’s reaction. Lia had never talked about her ex, beyond brief mentions so tense it worried Amy... Could worry about that later, after she made sure Lia hadn’t hurt herself or someone else...mostly the former.

  It didn’t take long to find her, in the second girls’ bathroom Amy passed. When she walked in, she could hear the telltale reedy, quiet sobs that Lia made. Always so quiet, like she was terrified of being heard. Well, fair enough here. Despite it being lunch hour, the bathroom was empty, as were all the stalls. Confused, Amy squatted down and sighed when she saw Lia curled in a ball under the shelf-like sink, shoulder shaking.

  “Lia?” Amy asked gently, wincing as she flinched. “Hey, it’s just me. Are you okay?” A stupid question she knew, but she couldn’t just out and say ‘Hey forget your ex, you have me’. All the response she got was a whine and a slight shake of Lia’s head. She shuffled closer and reached out. “Give me your hand,” she said firmly. A moment later, Lia’s was in hers.

  It was ugly, the worst panic attack Amy had seen outside the psych ward. Lia’s heart was racing, fast enough that she could probably give an Olympian sprinter a run for their money. A toxic cocktail of hormones had flooded her bloodstream and every muscle was tense to the point of pain. She was breathing, for what little good the hyperventilating gasps were doing her, and that was the most positive thing Amy could say.

  Then there was her head. Amy didn’t want to deal with brains, but unfortunately Lia’s was one of her primary problems. All the signs of intense stress, lack of sleep, and poor diet were present like expected. Then there was the overlapping engrams, lit up like a burning Christmas tree. ‘Crackling’ was the best way she could describe it, with literal sparks leaping between Lia’s neurons and the impossible memory traces.

  “We’re going home,” Amy said firmly as her mouth dried. She could not deal with this shit here. “Come on, get up.”

  Whatever state she was in, it seemed to get Lia listening at least. She clung to Amy’s hand with both of her own, sticking so close that Amy had trouble not tripping over her. Still, better than Lia just breaking down in the middle of the hallways, so she made do. They made a brief stop by the office to tell the staff Lia was done for the day. They were surprisingly understanding, Amy didn’t even need to get bitchy.

  The bus ride home was tenuous. It wasn’t crowded by any means, but Lia’s stature and state got them more than a few ugly looks. Nobody bothered them, but it made Amy uneasy. She pulled them off the bus a couple stops earlier than usual, walking the rest of the way to their apartment. Weird to think of it as ‘theirs’, but it was until Lia decided she didn’t want to be around a miserable bitch like Amy anymore.

  Lia’s glassy gaze remained fixed on the ground the whole way up. Even if she hadn’t said a word, her brain was hard at work tearing itself apart. It would be easy to manage, simply controlling the hormone balance in Lia’s body until she felt better. But Lia was in no state to give any kind of consent for that, and Amy wasn’t going to do a damn thing without her okay...no matter how much she wanted to.

  Amy guided them into the apartment, taking Lia to their bedroom and sitting her down on the mattress. She grabbed their bags and tossed them in the closet, then went to the kitchen and got a couple glasses of water. Almost as an afterthought, she snagged a box of tissues from the countertop and brought them too; no doubt they’d come in handy.

  She returned to the bedroom, where Lia had fallen on her side and curled around herself on top of the sheets. Amy put the water and tissues on the bedside table, then sat by Lia’s head and gently ran her fingers over her scratchy, short hair. A quiet whine escaped Lia’s lips, and she moved slightly so her head was pressed more into Amy’s fingers.

  “You’re okay,” Amy reassured her gently. She licked her lips, thinking of that bitch Trixie. ‘She’s my girlfriend’. “You’re okay Lia, it’s just you and me here, no one else.” She swallowed and shifted her grip to the back of Lia’s neck, gently rubbing with her thumb and drawing a deep sigh. “Can you...can you tell me what that was about?”

  “Don’t wanna,” Lia moaned, barely audible.

  “I know,” she replied gently, ignoring the twinge of irritation. “But you can tell me, Lia.” Her muscles tightened and she shook her head violently.

  “Don’t wanna remember,” Lia squeaked. She stiffened, then twisted her neck so she was looking up at Amy. Her bloodshot eyes were wide and full of tears, the deep blue rings surrounding them making them pop all the more. She was a mess, but there was a desperation in her eyes that had Amy fixated. “Make me forget?”

  “I can’t,” Amy said instantly as a wave of dizziness hit her. It was bad enough Lia wanted her power? “I— No, I can’t do brains Lia, you know that.” The disappointment in Lia’s face almost broke her heart.

  “Please I—” Her voice cut off in a choked sob. “Anything, I’ll do anything Amy just...just make me forget her.”

  Amy gently rubbed Lia’s back as her girlfriend heaved in shaky breaths, on the verge of breaking down again. She needed to do something, but what? She couldn’t actually make Lia forget, that was...no, she just couldn’t. But she didn’t need to forget, she needed to not think about it and...maybe Amy could do something there.

  “Hey,” Amy said gently, resting her hand on Lia’s lower back. “I...I can’t do brains Lia but, but maybe I can help still?” She rolled onto her back, eyes glassy and hopeful.

  “Anything, please” Lia begged.

  Her stomach fluttered as their lips met. Amy tried to take things slow like she’d asked, but Lia needed this. She could feel it in the way her girlfriend clung to her, pushing into the kiss so hard it almost hurt. Even though Lia was riding the edge of panic, Amy could see the desperate desire below. Her hand snaked under Lia’s shirt, brushing gently over her smooth skin and the slight bumps of her ribs, drawing a shivering sigh from Lia. Amy paused, breaking the kiss and meeting her eyes.

  “Anything?” she asked, mouth dry as the Savannah.

  “Anything,” Lia breathed.

  Amy was too happy to oblige.