I gave Kiyui the full story of what had happed with Vox and everything over breakfast. I then lied and said that I had to pop into town to fill in some paperwork with Chloe. I had finished all of the paperwork last night, but I omitted that from the story. He did offer to come with me… but I told him he should stay back with the kids because we only just got back from an adventure and they will have missed us.

  As it turns out, Dolly and Olly are working at Madame Laurent’s today, so I walked into town with them. I’m still not used to seeing Olly in his twin outfit. When he’s on the farm he doesn’t bother with the enchantments, so I’m used to his normal, bright hair and eye colour. It is strange seeing him as a brunette with hazel eyes. And it is eerie how much he looks like Dolly. I mean, they look like each other normally anyway… but it is massively enhanced when the hair and eyes match too. I know that them matching is very much the point of the enchantment… but I still find it weird.

  I’m actually very glad that they came. I have never actually been to a jewellery shop before. Funnily enough, I don’t really wear any. If I was buying him a nice set of armour, or a new weapon, then I would know exactly where to go. But with this one, I’m drawing a blank.

  Dwynfel: “Umm… guys...”

  Olly: “Yes?”

  Olly gave Dolly a nudge and Dolly turned to face me.

  Dwynfel: “Well… umm… would you guys happen to know where there is a good jeweller?”

  Olly: “There are a few. Stoker’s, by the gate to the west district does lovely earrings.”

  Dolly: “What type of jewellery do you want?”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… a ring.”

  They both looked at each other and smiled.

  Olly: “For you? Or for somebody else?”

  Dwynfel: “For… well… Kiyui… actually.”

  Dolly jumped with excitement before bounding forwards, picking me up, giving me a huge hug, and spinning me around. After he put me down, he was literally vibrating with excitement.

  Dolly: “This is amazing!”

  He started clapping and banging his wrists together.

  Olly: “Do you have his ring size?”

  Dwynfel: “Huh?”

  Olly: “His ring size.”

  Dwynfel: “He doesn’t really have any rings of his own. How would I get his ring size?”

  Olly: “Measuring string around his finger when he’s asleep.”

  Dwynfel: “Will I be able to get a ring without it?”

  Olly: “Oh you’ll be able to get a ring. But if it is the wrong size, it may fall off, or he may not be able to get it on at all, which kinda kills the romantic mood.”

  Dwynfel: “Good point… can I pick the ring today and go back with…”

  Tall Boy: “Excuse me.”

  I looked behind Olly and Dolly to see a boy… he looked about the same age as Svampe… by which I mean he looks how people Svampe’s age normally look. Svampe looks to be in his late twenties. So, this boy looks like a man technically… but a young looking one. He was a tall boy with chiselled features and short, dark hair. He spoke with confidence, but also with respect, which is an uncommon combination in people his age… you tend to get one or the other.

  Tall Boy: “Would you two happen to be working at Madame Laurent’s today?”

  Olly: “We are indeed, we start in a couple of hours. We are just helping our friend out first.”

  Tall Boy: “That’s great. Me and my friends have clubbed together to get our mate a session with you guys. He’s been crushing on you for ages but he’s so bloody nervous that we knew he’d never do anything without a bit of a push.”

  Olly: “That’s nice of you.”

  As the boy spoke, Olly signed everything that was said to Dolly. I’m not used to seeing Dolly away from the farm, and everybody at home signs by default when talking to him now. So, it is kind of weird seeing Olly effectively translating for him. I mean, Dolly is a very good lip reader and can get the general idea of what people are saying without signs… but the signs do make things much easier and more precise for him.

  Tall Boy: “Honestly, we are all just tired of him being so shy and nervous. We’re hoping this might give him a bit of a boost. We’ve told him to try talking to you guys before, but he just freezes and stares at you.”

  Dolly: “Is he the short boy, face tattoos, piercings, and a shaved head?”

  Tall Boy: “Yeah, that’s him.”

  That description doesn’t sound like a nervous admirer. It sounds like somebody who would knife you in a back alley.

  Tall Boy: “His dad runs Incredible round the corner. Hence the rather stand out look he has going.”

  Dwynfel: “Incredible?”

  Olly: “As in INK-redible. It’s a pun.”

  Oh, right… I get it now.

  Olly: Not to be impolite, but why exactly did you pop over? We’ll be happy to meet your friend later at the brothel.”

  Tall Boy: “Oh, well, I just wanted to ask what range of services you guys offer? We want to make his first time memorable.”

  Olly: “Oh… right. Well, we can certainly do that. We are very adaptable. We can offer the basics like a tilted triangle, of course it sounds like he is wanting to go all the way, so there is always the daisy chain. We can do a classic spit-roast. Positions can vary depending on what he likes. We can also do some of the more elaborate ones, like the sycamore sling, Corelli’s cradle, or the slippery cello.”

  I have absolutely no idea what most of those terms mean. Although, it is nice of them to put on food.

  Olly: “We also offer various sub or dom packages. So, he can really let loose.”

  Dolly: “Basically, we do anything. But don’t worry, we won’t charge for anything that he doesn’t do. And we won’t push him to do anything that he’s uncomfortable with.”

  Olly: “Yeah, so just tell us what your maximum budget is when you show up later and we’ll make sure not to go over.”

  Tall Boy: “That sounds absolutely perfect. Thank you so much. We’ll see you later.”

  The boy rushed off with a smile on his face.

  Olly: “How odd.”

  Dwynfel: “Do people normally ask you that kind of stuff in the streets in broad daylight?”

  Olly: “Gods yeah, happens all the time.”

  Dolly: “What’s odd is that we don’t normally get first timers.”

  Dwynfel: “Really?”

  Olly: “Yeah. Kiyui has always been popular with first timers. But they tend to stay clear of us. Losing your virginity can be nerve-wracking. Lots of guys worry about finishing too soon. So, they tend to go for one solitary prostitute and a very basic package at that.”

  I’m sorry, but I can’t help but find this whole situation… odd.

  Dwynfel: “Is it not weird… having a prostitute for your first time?”

  Olly: “You did.”

  Dwynfel: “That’s different. I lost my virginity to somebody that happened to be an ex-prostitute. I didn’t seek him out in his professional capacity as a prostitute.”

  Olly: “That’s true. But I bet Kiyui’s experience came in handy.”

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

  Dwynfel: “It was…

  Absolutely amazing!

  Dwynfel: “…umm… fine.”

  Olly: “Kiyui is sweet, caring and nurturing. Which is what a lot of guys want for their first time. It’s a nerve-wracking experience. Having somebody who can guide you through it gently can make it much less stressful.

  Dolly: “Plus, with a prostitute you don’t need to worry about being skilled enough to please the other person.”

  Olly: “Exactly, it can be a valuable learning experience.”

  Dwynfel: “I doubt that.”

  Olly: “Why?”

  Dwynfel: “I’d be far too stressed to learn things.”

  Olly: “I doubt that.”

  Why do I feel like he’s mocking me?

  Olly: “I imagine you learned plenty. Your memories are just too focussed on other things to realise it.”

  Dolly: “Think of it like learning how to cook.”

  Olly: “Or any other practical skill that we learn growing up. Some people like to explore and find things out on their own. Others like to get the benefit of being taught by somebody who is experienced and knows what they are doing. When kids are ready, we teach them how to cook, how to clean, how to work the land, but nobody wants to teach their kids how to have sex…”

  Dolly: “And for good reason.”

  Olly: “Well quite. You don’t want your mum teaching you this stuff… and you certainly don’t want to teach your child this stuff. But why not let a prostitute guide them through it?”

  These guys are just as bad as Kiyui with the weird sex logic.

  Dwynfel: “Because kids aren’t ready for… that.”

  Olly: “We aren’t talking about kid kids. We are talking about the pubescent. The ones with the urges, the feelings, the desires. We can support them to explore these things in a safe and educational environment, without fear of failure or ridicule. Sometimes the clients aren’t even ready for full sex. So, it becomes about helping them explore the early stuff… kissing, handjobs, oral and the like. You build up slowly and at their pace.”

  I concede that he has a point. An environment free of such fears is very beneficial to learning… but the whole thing still weirds me out.

  Dolly: “The beauty of a prostitute is that they are paid to do what the client requests. They aren’t going to push the kid into anything that they aren’t willing or ready for.”

  Olly: “Exactly. Push somebody to do stuff that they don’t want to do and they aren’t going to come back.”

  Dolly: “Losing you a repeat customer.”

  Olly: “And drumming up a regular client base is the best way to make consistent money. So, acting in the client’s best interest is in our best interest. And going at their speed is a big part of that.”

  I am willing to admit that that does make a level of sense.

  Olly: “Also, imagine eventually working up the courage to ask a girl out. Taking her on a series of romantic dates and then finally taking the leap to sex. You’ve never had sex before; you aren’t sure what girls like…

  Dolly: “It isn’t like you can get practice women.”

  Olly: “…you start to worry if she’s enjoying it…

  Dolly: “Are you doing it right? Should you be kissing her neck? Or is that weird?

  Olly: “She’s groaning a lot… is that a good sign? Or is she bored?”

  Dolly: “Am I gripping her breasts firmly enough? Or too firmly? Should I be touching them at all?”

  Olly: “If I put my hands on the ground, I’ll be able to thrust harder. But will she feel like I’m just trying to get it over with?”

  It concerns me greatly that this is exactly how I can imagine my mind behaving if I ever had sex with a woman.

  Dwynfel: “Surely all that is just part of growing up… ya know… getting past all those fears.”

  Olly: “We provide a less stressful way to get past that stuff. So that by the time these people get round to shagging somebody that they actually like, they can enjoy it a lot more instead of being a panicked bundle of nerves.”

  Dolly: “And Kiyui’s disposition is precisely why he is so popular with first-timers. He puts them at ease.”

  Olly: “We tend to get the more experienced and imaginative clients.”

  Dwynfel: “The mind reels in a number of unfortunate directions.”

  Olly: “Nah, don’t be silly. We like it that way. We get to charge way more for the crazy shit. And some of the clients really do come up with some inventive stuff.”

  Suddenly Olly started laughing. He placed his arm on Dolly’s shoulder to steady himself because the laughing was getting so out of hand.

  Olly: “Remember the chipmunk guy?”

  Dolly rolled his eyes.

  Dwynfel: “The what now?”

  Olly tried to explain but it just came out as garbled laughter.

  Dolly: “We used to have a client who was a druid. He used to like to transform into a chipmunk…”

  Olly: “So he could fuck you in the dick hole!”

  Olly fell apart laughing again.

  Dolly: “I grant you; it was a bit weird, but he was a really nice guy.”

  Olly: “Then… when he’d finished… he’d just stand there… and make you wank off in his little chipmunk face. You would be full on wanking… and he would just stand there like…”

  Olly lifted his hands to under his chin, exposed his front teeth, and did a rather silly little chipmunk impression. Dolly let out a little snort of a laugh before controlling himself.

  Dolly: “You shouldn’t mock him; he was one of our best clients.”

  Olly: “Firstly, I’m not mocking him. I admire the guy. He knows exactly what he’s into and he isn’t afraid to ask for people to indulge it. I am simply laughing because of the absurdity of the whole thing. Secondly, even if I was mocking him, he is hardly our best customer anymore, he hasn’t visited in ages.”

  Dolly: “Yeah. Which isn’t like him. He was very regular.”

  Olly: “Look, you reported it to Chloe. Nothing came of it. He’s probably just chipmunking it up in some whorehouse in another town. I wouldn’t read too much into it.”

  Fucking hell… these guys have even more insane stories than Kiyui. The more that I hear of their world, the happier I am that I was never involved in that side of things.

  Olly: “Sorry, took a slight detour with that. The point is, people that are into the wild stuff generally get us a pretty good income.

  Dolly: “The chipmunk guy aside, most of our clients do tend to slot into one of two personality types.”

  Olly: “True. It’s either submissive guys who just want to get absolutely railed by twins. Or domineering guys that want to abuse and take advantage of some sweet looking, innocent little twink twins.”

  They both pulled these sweet little faces with big doe eyes. They looked so sweet and delicate.

  Dolly: “As you know, we are far from sweet and innocent.”

  Olly: “Hell, we ain’t even twins.”

  Dolly: “Everything in town is a performance for us. We have an image to maintain.”

  Olly: Also, kinda weird the number of guys that are into the whole twincest thing.”

  Dolly: “Don’t knock it, those people are our client base.”

  Olly: “True.”

  After years of living with Kiyui, I am much more used to these kinds of conversations. I’m intrigued by them… but they still unnerve me. I just wanted to know where I can get a nice ring.

  Dwynfel: “Umm… sorry to change subject so abruptly… but could we get back to the ring.”

  Dolly: “Gods… yes. Engagement rings… you want Varancini’s. It's three streets over in that direction.”

  Olly: “They do really nice stuff.”

  Dwynfel: “Thank you so much.”

  Olly: “No bother.”

  Dolly: We look forward to seeing it on his finger.”

  Dolly gave me another hug and they smiled and waved as we parted ways. I walked the three streets towards this Varancini’s. I looked in the window at the front of the shop and well… fucking hell… it is a good thing that we got so much gold from that last quest… just… fuck… why are rings so expensive? I could get like five new suits of armour for the cost of that ring at the back. Gods…

  Smutisha: “Yoohoo! Dwynfel, Darling!”

  Oh shit… what now?