I turned to see Smutisha bounding down the street towards me.

  Dwynfel: “Greetings, Lady Smythe.”

  Smutisha: “Ah, ring shopping I see. Finally making an honest man out of that delightful boy of yours?

  Dwynfel: “Well… yeah… that’s kind of the idea.”

  Smutisha: “Well, you aren’t going to get anything stood outside now are you, darling?”

  She grabbed my hand and dragged me through the door.

  Dwynfel: “Lady Smythe… how exactly did you know I was here?”

  Smutisha: “You know me, darling. I keep my ear to the ground.”

  Dwynfel: “But I have literally just got here.”

  Smutisha: “Piffle, darling. You’ve been stood outside for at least twenty minutes.”

  Have I? I can’t have been. All I was doing was looking at the prices of the rings. Did I freak out at the prices and freeze or something?

  Smutisha: “Now let’s get this ring sorted, darling.”

  Dwynfel: “There were a few nice ones in the window that…”

  Smutisha: “Oh, not a chance, darling. You are getting one made to order.”

  Dwynfel: “But… I can’t afford that!”

  Smutisha: “Pfft… nonsense. I’m paying for the ring. You save your money for the wedding itself.”

  Dwynfel: “I can’t let you do that.”

  Smutisha: “Of course you can, darling. I have plenty of money, and I owe you.”

  Dwynfel: “You’ve paid me for all the services that I have given you. You owe me nothing, my lady.”

  Smutisha: “Poppycock. I have a beautiful son because of your efforts, darling. Consider it a wedding present if it makes you feel better. Now accept my goodwill and let’s get this ring designed.”

  She isn’t going to take no for an answer, is she?

  Dwynfel: “But… I really wanted to ask him tonight. If I get the ring custom made, won’t it take time?”

  Smutisha: “Of course it will. But then the ring will be unique. It will be personal to you two. It will be much more meaningful.”

  Damn… she does have a point there.

  Dwynfel: “But what if while it’s being made, I panic and chicken out of the whole thing?”

  Smutisha: “Oh, don’t be ridiculous, darling. You two are made for each other. If you don’t ask him, then I’ll do it for you. Now what type of band would you like?”

  Dwynfel: “There is a choice? I thought they were all just gold?”

  Smutisha: “You are so na?ve, darling. There’s yellow gold, white gold, rose gold, and they are just the golds. There is also steel, tungsten, palladium, zirconium, titanium, silver, and platinum.”

  This is going to be way harder than I thought.

  Dwynfel: “Umm…”

  Smutisha: “I recommend one of the golds… or platinum. Unless one of the other metals is of significance to you in some way.”

  Dwynfel: “None that I can think of.”

  Smutisha: “Then it basically boils down to which colour you want. Do you want it white, gold or slightly pink?”

  All of this is too much choice… it’s making me anxious.

  Dwynfel: “I don’t know…”

  Smutisha: “Well let’s rule out the standard yellow gold, darling. The fur on his hands is yellow and you want the ring to really pop.”

  Dwynfel: “Then maybe white… that gives a good contrast… right?”

  Smutisha: “Platinum it is.”

  Dwynfel: “Isn’t that expensive?”

  Smutisha: “Oh, shut up about the cost, darling. I told you; I’m paying. Onto the stone.”

  Dwynfel: “Isn’t a diamond traditional?”

  Smutisha: “Traditions are just peer pressure from the dead, darling. Choose a stone that means something.”

  Dwynfel: “Well purple is his favourite colour… so maybe an amethyst… or a ruby… then it would match his eagle claw necklace.”

  She gave me a sweet smile before turning to the jeweller who was stood behind the counter looking at us with a vague look of bewilderment.

  Smutisha: “I would like to see the finest amethysts and rubies that you have available to be set into an engagement ring.”

  Jeweller: “Are you looking for a single stone ring? Or a three stone ring?”

  Smutisha: “Oh, now there’s a good idea.”

  Dwynfel: “What’s a good idea?”

  Smutisha: “Why don’t you get a large amethyst as the primary stone, then two little rubies on either side… or the other way around. Then you get to have the red and the purple together, darling.”

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  Dwynfel: “Will they work together… they won’t clash or anything?”

  Smutisha: “Not if done tastefully. Or we can do a standard single stone ring? But then you’ll only be able to have an amethyst or a ruby. Or go back to the standard diamond idea. It is entirely up to you, darling.”

  I don’t know… this is all way too much. I was just going to pick something that looked pretty from the window. Now I have to design something that is meaningful. I thought the gesture was the meaningful bit. This is stressing me out.

  Dwynfel: “Umm… big ruby… small amethysts.”

  Smutisha: “Settled, darling. Mister Varancini, a collection of large rubies and small amethysts please.”

  Varancini: “Right away, milady.”

  He brought out two boxes and placed them on the table. She examined the contents of both boxes, mumbling to herself as she went. Steadily she picked a few stones from each box and placed them on the counter.

  Smutisha: “These stones have no imperfections and should be easy to cut into shape.”

  Varancini: “You know your stones. Milady.”

  Smutisha: “Oh, I should hope so, darling. I’ve seen enough of the things.”

  She turned to me and gestured towards the display counter to our right.

  Smutisha: “Now, what stone shape would you like?”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… normal… diamond shape?”

  Smutisha: “You have no imagination, darling. You need to choose a cut. You can have round, princess, cushion, oval, pear, marquise, emerald, heart, or Asscher.”

  Dwynfel: “I thought emerald was a green gemstone?”

  Smutisha: “It is, darling. It is also a style of cut. Here, look at these.”

  She proceeded to go through the display case next to us and explain which ring was which cut. This shit is way more complicated than I thought it would be.

  Dwynfel: “I like the round cut.”

  Smutisha: “Round cut it is. Now, how do you want it set?”

  Oh, for fuck’s sake… I have no idea what that means.

  Dwynfel: “You’ve lost me again.”

  Smutisha: “Well, darling. You can have a kind of little bowl thing that the stone sits in. Or you can have more of the stone on display by having it held in place by tiny little claws.”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… claws… better to see more of the stone… right?”

  Smutisha: “How many claws?”

  Oh, for fuck’s sake.

  Dwynfel: “What are the options?”

  Smutisha: “Three to six. The more claws, the more stable the stone will be, but again… the more the stone will be covered. Six claws can look pretty with the right design though.”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… four?”

  Smutisha: “There we go, darling. That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

  She turned to Varancini who had been making notes the entire time. She gave him some time to finish what he was writing before she picked up his pad and showed it to me.

  Turns out he hadn’t been writing notes… he had been sketching the design as we went. The stones hadn’t been coloured in yet… but the rest of it looked as we had described… the round cut with the four-claw setting and the two smaller stones on either side. I have to admit it did look very pretty.

  Smutisha: “Now, look at the stones that I placed on the table and pick the three that you think are the prettiest. They are all of high quality, so you can’t go wrong.”

  I had a look at the stones. I honestly cannot tell the difference between any of them. Other than some of them being a marginally different shape… but obviously they will be cut to the appropriate size and shape when made. I just picked one ruby and two amethysts at random and Varancini placed them in a small pouch.

  Vanrancini: “Only thing we need is the ring size.”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… I don’t know his ring size.”

  Smutisha: “Oh, darling. That’s the basics.”

  Dwynfel: “His fingers are very slightly bigger than mine. If that helps.”

  Smutisha: “It will have to do. Give the man your hand, darling.”

  I presented my right hand to Varancini. Smutisha tapped me on the shoulder.

  Smutisha: “Other hand, Darling.”

  Dwynfel: “Oh, right.”

  He wrapped a band around one of the fingers on my left hand, then sipped a ring on my finger that fit it perfectly. He then picked up another ring and tried that on… it was slightly too loose. He took the loose ring off my finger and showed it to me.

  Varancini: “Does this look about right to you?”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… I think so. He doesn’t have any rings, so I don’t have anything to gage it on.”

  Varancini: “We shall go with this. If it turns out wrong then you can bring it back in once you have asked the question and we can fit it to his finger.”

  Dwynfel: “How long will it take to make?”

  Varancini: “A few days.”

  Smutisha: “Excellent. Now, we must be off, darling.”

  Dwynfel: “Must we? Where?”

  Smutisha: “Oh right, I forgot to say, I was so distracted by the excitement of the ring. We need to get to the town square, darling. You’re being honoured.”

  Dwynfel's hand should be gloved. But yeah... AI. Trying to get it to fix that one thing was just incredibly painful.