Book: 4

  Chapter 21

  Operation: DOOMsday

  Late afternoon settled in warm and lazy on the slope above a Goblin-Town drenched in golden light that dribbled everywhere like spilled honey; under that glow, the world was delicious and so sweet.

  Rio Ward sat on the garden wall, looking out over the bustling town and watching the steady stream of goblins heading to and from the ‘castle’ atop the peak. By day the streets swarmed with busy, gregarious, friendly and mostly unclothed ladies, going about their lives as anyone would in any town of any kind of folk. The numerous parks and green-spaces always thronged with legions of giggling, squealing runties of both genders, playing simple games and practicing with toy weapons. The kid’s joyful shouts and songs drifted on the soft, cool breeze that stirred the valley’s leaves and whispered of a cool, clear night coming soon.

  “Sometimes I sit and watch them too…” Queen Chelsea sighed, as she plopped down beside him and leaned against his shoulder. “My people are amazing… Mighty Ghnash built this town not long ago, on the ashes of the last light cult temple on our world; now he’s ready to move on to the next one.” She growled happily against her new nephew’s shoulder.

  “Moving on?” The lad asked, as the little, round bellied goblin snuggled under his arm like an insistent cat.

  “King Ghnash rules an entire world… he’s the king of goblins. All goblins.” She answered merrily, once his coat got wrapped around her properly. “Every few years, he builds a city, starts a human and beast-folk town nearby, then moves on; leaving the witch’s conclave and the town councils to guide them. He’s been the king for more than two hundred years, I think, so there are dozens of cities scattered around Goblin-home now.”

  “The government is run by witches?” Rio muttered quietly while Chelsea got comfy inside his coat.

  “Why not? They are wise, learned and many are King Ghnash’s former queens.” She cooed up at him from his collar. “One of the king’s mates will rule this town, while I follow great king Ghnash to our next home. He will build a town by the sea next time, I think.”

  The pink haired, bright green and very pregnant goblin wriggled even closer, hugging up to the lad with a deeply satisfied sigh at the cluster of happy, chattering and giggling goblin girls headed up the slope to the ‘castle’ before sundown. “Many girls hope to get stuffed baby-full by king Ghnash before he moves his court.”

  “I’ve been wondering… how does that work? I mean, once the king leaves… I haven’t seen an adult male goblin since we got here… not even when hunting in the woods.” Rio muttered, his eyes following the distant figures bustling about in the town in the slowly lengthening shadows of the valley.

  “Goblin boys and girls play together til they is around two years old… Then the boys start to go wild and have’ta get turned out into the wilderness, far from towns.” She purred happily from deep in his coat as the day began cooling.

  “No human will see a goblin boy, if they can help it. Wild goblin men are night-dwellers, sneaky-sneaky and very shy. Only a girl with tummy-time can draw them out of the woods; is how we hunt them for baby-goo. Catch and release!” She nodded inside his coat and purred happily up at him.

  “So, when they need… baby-goo, the girls form hunting parties and just catch them, like animals? That’s pretty crazy!” Rio mumbled, his face darkening to a rich, plum color.

  “Ooo! Rio gets warmer… feels nice.” The little jacket invading goblin cooed merrily. “Goblin boys is nub animals… Most can even talk, once caught and tied down for riding. We have to hunt them with teamwork, ‘cause goblin men is dangerous when they smell a ripe tummy. A girl with tummy-time in the wilds will nub survive, alone. With a strong group of hunt-sisters, hunting for baby-stuff is safe and fun for girls and boys both!”

  “So you really capture them and…” He fell silent, contemplating that. “Wild…”

  “Yub yub! When a goblin wants to get babyful, we set aside our tummy-time charms and go cock hunting with our sisters! Many even hunt gob-men for sport!” Chelsea cooed happily. “Long ago, before King-papa and the tummytime charms he invented, girls killed the boys after we got what we needed; now we tattoo and release them back into the wilds. King-papa made the law, nub allowed to hurt or stress the goblin boys anymore!”

  The queen stretched in his coat and sighed. “I has a goblin boy-child out there in the wilds, somewhere… Turning my son loose in the woods was the hardest thing I ever had to do.”

  “You have a son already?” Rio asked gently, when she hugged herself around him a little tighter and sobbed.

  “Yub, if he lives, he’s a grown gobb-man now.” She held her right wrist out of his coat, displaying a band of tattooed blue vines around her wrist. “My little Jaxx has this tattoo… Any girls who catch him will tattoo berries of their clan colors on his vine; this way we don’t accidentally collect the wrong kind of baby-goo. Strong goblins are made of many different clans!”

  She pulled her little claw back into his coat and gave the tall lad a good scratch on his ribs. “You is a good-good boy, Rio. Chelsea misses king Ghnash, but he has much king-work to do… I is being a little selfish, making you entertain me while I wait.”

  “It’s a pleasure, your majesty.” The lean, athletic young Adventurer kissed the goblin queen atop her head and settled in to watch the goblins head into their homes, as the nocturnal folk began their ‘day’ in the town. “Where do all these other people come from?” He asked, as a trio of bat-folk flitted through the gathering night and landed in the market, among the stalls. Nearly all of the nocturnal residents were also women and most were beast-kin of some kind or other; primarily cat and rabbit folk, with a number of more exotic people scattered around.

  “Light cult once ruled Goblin-Home… they brought many slaves here, humans and others. When king Ghnash took the throne from the cult, many slaves stayed here, under the king’s sheltering hands. My king’s brothers and sisters bring many people here, just as your family did; many refugees from their war with the cult.” She pointed to the far side of town, where the refugee settlement stood, the tents and simple huts lit by a few communal cook-fires.

  “The king commands that we offer aid to all sentients in need.” The warm, smooth and elegant voice of Sabrina, reigning queen of the goblins murmured from behind the pair. Dressed in a warm, fur lined robe, the long, pale green woman stepped closer, rested her hands on Rio’s shoulders and purred down at the guest in his coat. “In turn, we learn many things from them and they help us with things we cannot yet do. Mighty Ghnash says that soon, we will be able to work with metal as you humans do!”

  The excitement in her voice was obvious, yet also refined and understated; the regal and self possessed woman inserted herself into the convo with effortless grace, folded her hands over her own round belly and smiled. “Come along, Chelsea… our husband is almost done with his morning chores.”

  “Oh, goodie-goodie! This big ol’ baby in my guts makes me wanna get smushed!” Chelsea cooed, as she extracted herself from Rio’s coat and waddled over to the taller goblin woman. “He better have some left for us, or I’ll give him such a pinch!”

  “Now-now, darling! I’m sure we will find something to play with…” Sabrina purred, wrapping the smaller goblin in her long, warm robe and leading her up the short path to the king’s ‘castle’.

  “I guess it’s good to be the king!” Rio chuckled, before he hopped down from the wall and headed inside for dinner with his team.

  /

  “Goblin boys? Yeah, it’s pretty messed up… they are just dealing the hand they got dealt, though.” Amy agreed during the family jam sesh by the hearth that evening. “Don’t judge, brother.”

  “I pounced on Gandree, while he was lost in the woods one night…” Daisybelle admitted shyly from her seat on the brickwork of Mariah’s hearth. “He was so surprised and a little scared… It was sexy as balls!”

  “Daze! Really? Get with it, girl, no one has ever considered balls sexy!” Maya barked and giggled at the goblin, before hiding her smile behind her big iron flute.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  “Speak for yourself…” Daisy murmured with a smirk and a rattle of her ogre skull drum. “My boy’s sack is so wrinkly and…”

  “And that’s enough from you, Daze… They will be back soon.” Amy sang sweetly, silencing the cheerful green libertine with a subtle flex of her vocal gift and a soft whisper in the goblin’s long, pointed ear from across the room. “I’m sure Gandree misses you, too… Now get yourself together.”

  /

  Gandree’s war-shovel rang dully off a goblin skull, while he brought the bronze knob on the pommel around to club another in the teeth, with a pivot of his hips. Harry’s heavy steel dart flashed by the short, burly lad’s shoulder, taking a goblin in the armpit, before he could swing a short, stone axe at the dwarf.

  The frontline team was doing a brisk business, holding off the majority of the gobbs and making a real mess… The little bastards were relentlessly aggressive and frenzied beyond fear; it was grim work and bloody. Perry and Barry had seven of the wretches down and a few more bleeding, while steadily adding to those numbers, working in tandem and staying close.

  At the rear of the goblins, the witch-doctor and his giant orc bodyguard faced constant harassment from a sneaky, unpredictable madman.

  “Ooglie-booglie!” Gary gibbered at the witch-doctor, leaping from a shadow behind a boulder, swinging his sabre in a swift, vicious slash. A sturdy shield of ancient dwarven make blocked his sword with a bone jarring clang that set the musician back on his heels.

  The massive, muscle-bound greenskin warrior nearly took the bard’s head off with his deceptively quick club, while that nimble goblin sprang away, hurling another curse at the bard, who suddenly found his hands very full of orc bodyguard. This spell was a small wad of putrid meat, wrapped in a nettle leaf and hexed with a flesh-rotting disease that was super uncool and dangerous.

  That was all very interesting from a magical perspective; but the orc had a heavy, primitive tree-root club in hand and was really curious what the noisy, mouthy human would sound like, with his ribs bashed inside out.

  Gary danced back from the huge orc, after delivering a shallow cut to the creature’s left leg, behind the knee. It was fast, strong and absolutely focused on getting that club in contact with the elusive human’s tender anatomy.

  Slathered in heaping helpings of extra muscle and a foot taller than the musician, the brute had a real work ethic, if not so much actual skill with his weapon. Four feet of knobby, iron hard wood lashed out again and again, seeking a dynamic interaction with his slippery, obnoxious opponent. A quick check-swing for the man’s ribs hit empty air, as expected; but when the orc lashed out with a sneaky backhand with his shield, nothing was there, either…

  The sting of a keen steel blade scoring a line of blood across his own ribs, right through the tough, dried hide of his jerkin brought him whirling around to face the threat too late. In that instant, the man was once more in pursuit of the witch doctor, his blade clashing against the smaller creature’s staff twice and drawing blood from the chief, before the orc could get back in the mix.

  A curse of wasting fever and a hex of boils fizzed against the bard’s aura, crackling with unspent magic and rage, while the goblin retreated behind his big meat-shield to cast more spells... A quiet clatter told of another big handful of fish vertebrae caltrops spilling across the cave floor, among the blinding bright lightstones, followed by an angry howl from the barefoot goblin witch-doctor. The orc’s huge, flat, elephantine feet just pulverized the fragile tools; though he wasn’t enjoying the sensation as he pursued the human across the back end of the fight.

  /

  Lindsey’s supply of darts and javelins had long since run out, just as her favorite spear and her two backups were lost, stuck in corpses, somewhere in the carnage. With a small round shield on one arm and her short, straight sword in the other, it was brutal, nasty work, close up and personal. Exhaustion dragged at her arms, weighed down her feet and added a hundred pounds to her armor, even as the goblins faltered under the Adventurer’s unforgiving onslaught.

  “Gandree, fall back to me, we’ll mop up here. Barry, Perry, go back up dad!” Harry called over the comms, the two young Adventurers flew across the chamber as if launched from a catapult, in pursuit of the ongoing conflict.

  Barry hurled a hatchet from his left hand, just as he and Perry closed in on the orc from the rear, among crowded stalagmites and standing on slick, smooth, wet limestone. Barefoot and on their home turf, the goblin and orc pressed Gary hard, his yellow armor distinctive in the dim, far reaches of the cave. Steel clashed against stone, when the hastily thrown weapon flew wide of the mark… The orc noticed his new opponents right away, which gave Gary a chance to slip from among the stone pillars and cut three fingers from the witch doctor’s staff hand. He howled with fury and rage, as his stick clattered to the cave floor, along with his digits.

  A scant two heartbeats later, the yellow armored human bard lowered his hips and twisted his body… Grummik the witch-doctor never saw the bard’s return cut coming. The goblin only realized he had been killed, when his head hit the floor with a hollow thunk.

  Barry and Perry finished the orc bodyguard with brutal efficiency, one brother hitting the humanoid’s shield aside, opening the way for a spear thrust that brought things to a close in a few frantic, violent seconds.

  “Dad, check in! Is everyone ok?” Harry’s voice rang out inside their helmets, seeming terribly loud in the sudden, deathly silence in the cavern.

  “All good here…” Gary gasped with a son under each arm, as they staggered back toward the brightly lit regions. “You guys good?”

  “No serious injuries here.” The youngest Ward sighed and sagged down onto a rock ledge, even though it was spattered with gore. “Why am I too tired to breathe?”

  “Stress, fear, violence and all the chaos, son… We’re fighting like normies, without your mom’s bells and the family arts.” Gary gasped, sinking down beside the lad. “A brawl like this is the toughest workout ever, gang. Nobody comes out looking or feeling good.”

  The mad bard’s words were still lingering in the stalactites overhead, when the dim light sources native to the cavern brightened noticeably, despite the lightstones still illuminating much of the place. “Let’s gather the loot…” Harry ordered his team. “Larry, stay put. We’ll discuss next steps, once we see what we’ve got. Lindsey, stay with Larry, he’s looking a little shaky.”

  “I just got a lot of chili pepper on me… shit stings like volcanic enema!” The battered, amber armored lad mumbled. “Damn. My arm’s going numb.”

  Lindsey sucked her teeth at him in the disdainful way only teenaged girls and grandmothers can truly manage. “Perhaps that’s because you had these dolts bundle you into that wrecked armor?” She asked sweetly, while carefully cutting the bindings that held his shield and left arm close to his body.

  He inhaled sharply, when the shield fell away with a loud, metallic clang that shattered the quiet. “Oh! Pins and needles… and it burns!” The lad stammered, as he twitched and began sweating even more profusely. “I have regrets! Can you put my arm back to sleep?”

  “Sorry, if it gets too bad I can give you something stronger… but you’ll feel impaired.” The lanky medic whispered. “Hang in there, Larry.”

  “I could be impaired…” He mumbled a little weakly and chuckled, until a sharp gasp silenced him.

  Soon, the team gathered round the seated pair, soiled, battered, bloody and exhausted, while the corpses and refuse slowly vanished, leaving a scattering of those now familiar red gems behind. The orcs and goblin witch’s stones glittered sharply, with deeper, brighter color, superior clarity and a distinct luminosity, even in the dark.

  “Gather the stones, then a team meeting?” Harry asked softly, drawing them into a tighter group.

  “Now? Couldn’t we clean up and get out of our gear?” Perry asked, just a little plaintively for a teenaged boy. “The inside of my helmet smells like… Shut up Barry!”

  “Too much chili ash floating around… the air will be extra zesty for at least another hour.” Gary sighed from behind his mask, once his idiot sons finished yukking it up at each other. “I designed them for outdoor use; so it’s gonna be a problem, going forward.”

  “About that.” Harry declared firmly, eying the newly revealed stairs leading down… and up to the surface. “I say we exit… This feels different from hunting monsters or fighting deranged goblins in the open world.”

  “I didn’t want to say it…” Barry agreed, his voice much softer than usual. “Feels bad, gang.”

  “Like we’re out of pocket and can’t get on the one.” Perry agreed, sounding worn and shaken. “This feels less like an Adventure and more like a raid.”

  “Feels bad, bros.” Larry muttered at last, his head down and breaths labored. “We’re not really being huge assholes and just busting up somebody’s house; but…”

  “I feel that, even though I’m not one of the bros, technically.” Lindsey let a little rhime of frost settle on the ‘technically’ at the end there; it got downright chilly. “Master Ward… I mean, Gary; Do you have anything to add?”

  “I don’t get a vote… but if I did; I prefer the fresh air and open sky over my head. I don’t like fighting humanoids, even assholes or magical projections of assholes long dead.” He answered calmly. “Now that I think about it; I do get a vote! Let’s get out of here, kids!”

  The team’s armored boots rang on the stairs up and into a long passage sloping upward.

  /

  Ward, god of Death, Vengeance, Dark Secrets and the eternal dryad of the Golden Fig, sighed luxuriously and leaned back in a tranquil hotspring bath. A sky of endless stars wheeled and danced above, beyond the gleaming constellations of his brother’s soul. Brigid the Hearth-mistress, represented by her anvil and harp sailed along beside his own sharp white crescent moon of stars, its grinning skull face picked out in glowing points of silvery blue light. Other sigils danced up there, Beast, Ipet and Cowl swayed and danced above the Madman’s moon, shedding a radiance all their own on the small world of dreams.

  Ward smiled at the last remaining constellation, unformed and chaotic, awaiting the proper time, place and opportunity to take shape at last. One more bond, one more to complete the Fool’s suite of Contracts… and the full powers he once had.

  Too perfect, too many and too sharp were the teeth on display, shining from that radiant, divine, eerily handsome face. His laugh was something cold, cruel and just a little self satisfied… very super-villian on a moon base, plotting some mad-villany.

  “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. After you, who’s last? It’s DOOM; he’s the worst known.” The mad Death-god whispered, raising a glass to one of the greats; still rhyming and spitting mad bars, somewhere out there, in the endless cosmos. “Just remember, ALL CAPS when you spell the man’s name…”

  “What was that, lover?” Nightingale murmured softly, her head resting on his chest as they drifted together in the hot water. “Were you singing, or chanting?” The divine nurse asked, her voice so sweet and melodic, Ward got a little lost in the sound of her question. She gave him a firm and playful pinch under the water, when he didn’t answer promptly.

  “Oh, Sorry…You could say it was a prayer.” He mumbled, a ruddy blush spreading over his face. “That’s funny, I never prayed when I was a mortal… not even once.”

  Nightingale giggled and splashed a little water at the handsome, dark haired god. “Silly boy! I peeked in your memories from your mortal time… You spent a good bit of time in a temple of Healing! Why would you make up such a story?”

  “Oh? Yeah… I suppose you wouldn’t understand. It had all the trappings of a religious, charitable institution; someone as sweet and pure as you could never understand.” He sighed warmly, snuggling in closer to the divine Hospitalier Nurse herself. “All they really cared about was money… and I didn’t have any. No clout, no influence, no family, I was just a burden to be disposed of quickly and as profitably as possible.”

  “Now I know you’re being foolish… no hospital has ever been profitable! Do only the wealthy get ill where you once dwelt, when you were mortal?” She scoffed at the smiling god. “Sweet Gary… mortals become ill when under stress, poorly nourished, exposed to the elements… The poor are disproportionately represented among the ill, wherever mortals exist. You cannot deceive me with ridiculous stories.”

  “You really are super sweet, darling.” He swept her in for a kiss, before slowly standing and pulling her from the bath. “Come along… We have dinner reservations at the inn on the hill and then we’re going to meet a couple friends for drinks.”

  “Someone I know?” Gale asked, her sweet, melodious voice warm in the Death god’s ear.

  “Yes and no… We’re meeting one of my brothers and his date, Baba-Yaga the witch.” Ward remarked mildly, with a shit eating smile on his face. “They’re so cute together; cute enough to break the world…”

  /