Season 3: CATPURR 6: To bite. Or not to bite

  To bite. Or not to bite. That was the question as Adam stood over the crying woman with amputated hands, squirming around on the floor of his prison cell.

  “You idiot! What did you do that for?!” Junith shouted, shoving Dominica back as Liza laughed and Ellie began to panic.

  “On one hand… I could use her influence to get the army off me…” Adam muttered, “But on the other hand, if I let her die I’d be free of her presence. The nightmares…”

  What to do…

  “Move aside! I’ll heal her!” Junith spat, shoving her way through the crowd of catfolk to open the cage door.

  “Now. Hold on a sec,” Adam said, putting his hand up. “We could use this as an opportunity.”

  “What?”

  “Dominica, take one of her hands and wrap it for me, would you?” Adam asked, the black-haired cat woman doing as ordered and gracefully swaddling one of Alencia’s severed hands in the hem of her dress.

  “I’LL KILL YOU! I’LLL KILL YOU!! I’LL KILL YOU!” Alencia screamed through her tears.

  “Yes yes, I’m afraid you’ll have to get in line,” Adam said dismissively before nodding to Junith. “Alright, you can heal her.”

  “What are you planning to do?” Junith asked as she stepped into the cage and began tending to Alencia’s bloodied stumps. The latter struggled for a moment, refusing to give her hands over to Junith until the latter stuck her thumb in the injury and made the noblewoman cry.

  “Hm? Me? Oh, right. I’m just going to send the Duchess a deterrent,” Adam said as Dominica bowed and left. “A little warning about invading my privacy.”

  “Oh?” Junith bared her fangs.

  “But… wouldn’t this provoke them?” Ellie chimed in, “Can’t we talk to them? Maybe-”

  “ONCE I’M FREE I’LL HAVE YOU ALL STRUNG UP BY YOUR ENTRAILS!” Alencia screamed with Adam nodding to the irate noble.

  “There's your answer. You haven’t had the pleasure of meeting this woman, but let me assure you, she’s the reason we’re in hiding. I try to not kill-”

  Junith scoffed.

  “-People or sentient things if I can help it, but the only reason I haven’t turned her bones into a skellie cat is because she’s a noble,” Adam finished before glancing over to the prison cell and glaring at the woman who scowled back. “Then again, I could bite you and turn you into a werecat. Is that what you want?”

  The mania in Alencia’s eyes seemed to shift, the anger fading as her eyes quivered and lit up with something that made Adam shiver.

  Valencia licked her lips, an action that did NOT go unnoticed by all nearby.

  “On second thought. Maybe I don’t,” Adam cringed, turning his gaze to the crowd of cat girls he was already fed up with.

  “WAIT! Please! I’ll do anything! I’ll call off the army! I'll make you rich! Do you want money? Fame? A haram? Slaves?! I can give you everything you want and more! I'll even give you the kingdom!” Alencia screamed, her rabid arms reaching through the barriers towards Adam. “I can make you the duke!”

  “Eh, pass, most of that sounds really annoying,” Adam said walking off.

  “Wait? That's it?” Junith said, baffled by Adam's response.

  ***

  “What the hell are you doing?!” Junith spat, entering Adam's quarters where the latter sat on his throne with his feet being tended to by Dominica.

  “Hm?”

  “Don't know hm, me! You-”

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  A blade appeared at Junith’s throat, Dominica vanishing to stand beside the paladin.

  “You insolent curr, watch how you speak to our master,” Dominica hissed.

  “Tch,” Junith clicked her teeth, her tail swishing left and right as her fur bristled up. Clear indications that Adam recognized that a fight was about to happen.

  Adam sighed, rubbing his temples, “Stand down Dominica, Junith, say what you will.”

  “Why are you not enslaving the girl to your will?! This is a perfect opportunity to turn the tide of the situation and deal with that menace!”

  “Well, first off, slavery is wrong,” Adam said as Liza peaked her head around the corner. “Indentured servitude for killers is different. Plus, it's bad enough I have to deal with all five of you, I really don't need another annoying person hanging around me.”

  “You… find me annoying milord?” Dominica asked, her expression distraught, face pale as the room became crowded by Dominica, Junith, Dungeon, Liza, and Ellie.

  Great. Here we go. At least Redfield is reliable.

  Ignoring the woman, Adam turned to address Junith instead.

  “I have no desire to be a ruler of a place I don't care about, plus, the power we possess is too dangerous for that noble brat. The last thing I need is her biting people as part of her fetish,” Adam said, recalling how the woman had wanted to cut off Junith's tail and stitch it onto him in an effort to make her perfect “Husbando”.

  “What happened to that Kingdom of bone nonsense you were always spouting?! I thought this was what you wanted?! You could leverage her to have a foothold in this world, call of her armies, gain allies!” Junith countered, clearly unhappy that Adam was wasting a perfect opportunity. “We have all the power here to make demands!”

  “What I want, is my best friend back. To that goal, everything else is secondary. Including my own aspirations and dreams. There are a few months left until your rescue party shows up, and I want to be prepared for their arrival when they do. I can't do that while being hindered by national affairs for a realm I don't care about.”

  “I would be delighted to administer any affairs you would require, your Esteemed Adam,” Dungeon said, the holographic projection flashing a smile that was disrupted by Junith stepping through her.

  “You do realize that they'll send justicars and paladins don't you?” Junith spat, “That they'll level this place upon finding you.”

  “Oh I have no doubt. But I have a plan to deal with them,” Adam said as a skeleton created by Dungeon brought him a tray laden with vials filled with viscous clear liquid.

  “What are those?” Ellie asked, the short cat girl sitting on the arm of Adam's throne to eye the objects.

  “Samples of your individual salivas,” Adam replied, much to the immediate horror of those gathered.

  “Why do you have containers of our saliva?” Ellie asked as Liza touched her fangs.

  “How did you even get it?” Liza muttered aloud. “Why don't I remember this?”

  “Oh, I had Dungeon drug your food,” Adam replied flatly, “It made collection-”

  “WHAT?!” Junith yelled, only to be quickly restrained by Dungeon as roots and bones pinned the angry cat girl to the floor.

  “-easier.”

  “Why do you need our mouth juice?” The ever curious Ellie asked.

  “You see, during our incursion to the drowthraki world and those ducks, I obtained quite a good sum of valuable data,” Adam said, swishing a vial of mouth juice. “It turns out, our saliva, if properly used could be the catalyst of armageddon. And has different effects depending on the base species. You all remember how the second trial went down-”

  Everyone present save for Dungeon, Dominica, and Ellie cringed, recalling the horror of zombies fighting werecats.

  “What happened in the second trial?” Ellie asked but was ignored.

  “Anyway, If Voltrain wants to send more of his holier than thou minions I'll be more than happy to show them their true colors.”

  “You'd turn them into mindless beasts!” Junith spat as Dominica fell to her knees with an expression of jubilation.

  “Huh, what a coincidence,” Adam muttered before focusing on the ex-paladin. “You surprise me Junith, despite everything that's happened, you still care what happens to those puppets.”

  “I care because they'll be walking into a trap to rescue me! Paladins I know!”

  “Not to worry though, you shouldn't blame yourself, if anyone is to blame it would be their God for allowing them to fall into my clutches,” Adam assured.

  ****

  Elsewhere.

  Voltrain slammed his hands upon the game table, knocking over dozens of half painted miniatures as he rose.

  “That damn cat!” Voltrain hissed, attempting to send a bolt of lightning to smite Adam only for the attack to fizzle out into nothing. “Tch, damn you Eli. You've created a devil!”

  The god of light scowled as the skin of his host began to crack and peel, revealing luminescence escaping from the cracks that dotted his body.

  “Problem, Lord Voltrain?” Bryhildr asked as she landed on the platform overlooking a barren world.

  “Of course there's a problem! That damn Eli is playing with the scales, there has to be some rule against this interference!” Voltrain spat, turning to his consultant and mentor.

  “Unfortunately no, as a Primordial, Eli operates outside the limitations of your pantheon,” Bryhildr reported, casting her eyes over to the knocked over figurines. “How is your new host?”

  “Fine! It's fine! Send word to the others, it's time we squashed this bug,” Voltrain demanded.

  “As you wish,” Bryhildr said as Voltrain turned and vanished in a beam of radiant gold, leaving Bryhildr alone atop the tower that overlooked an ocean of corpses.