Prologue

  [RISER SOUND EFFECT STARTS – DEEP BASS NOTES - QUIET]

  [SUBTLE CASSETTE TAPE REWINDING STARTS - QUIET]

  [FAR DISTANT]

  “Bring it on, you motherfuckers.” -Sam

  [FAR DISTANT]

  “They grow up so fast.” -Sam

  “Shut it.” -Mie

  [FAR DISTANT]

  “Promise me you will win . . . Fuck this reality. Our children deserve better.” -Clara

  [DISTANT]

  “Pour one out for me, will you?” -Fred

  [DISTANT]

  “Oh . . . right . . . fuck.” -Fred

  “He didn’t.” -Sam

  “He did.” -Mie

  [MODERATELY CLOSE]

  “TIME TO WRAP UP YOUR SEX FANTASY, MY LIEGE!” -Mie

  [MODERATELY CLOSE]

  Ohhh fuck, okay. Here we go. -Sam

  “God DAMN IT! JUST DIE!” -Sam

  [CLOSE]

  “You didn’t have to do that.” -Sam

  “It was the only way.” -Clara

  “YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT! . . . WE COULD HAVE FOUND ANOTHER WAY!” -Sam

  [CLOSE]

  “Mie, can you heal yourself?!” -Sam

  “Does it FUCKING look like it?” -Mie

  [VERY CLOSE]

  “Hey, asshole!” -Mike

  “Hey! What the hell?!” -Sam

  “I have kids, one of them is right here. Just take the damn toilet paper and go.” -Sam

  “Relax man, it’s not even loaded. See—?” -Mike

  “No! Stop. NO DON’T—!” -Sam

  BAM!

  [RISER SOUND EFFECT CUTS OFF – DEEP AND HIGH NOTES - LOUD]

  [SUBTLE CASSETTE TAPE REWINDING ENDS]

  [ALARM CLOCK STARTS]

  [THUNK! ALARM CLOCK CUTS OFF]

  I’d rolled out of bed, grabbed my headset, swung into my computer chair, and poised my finger over the computer’s power button, when I heard it.

  There was a loud creak from the bottom stair—that I personally always knew to jump.

  No . . .

  Heavy clunking footsteps headed up the stairs, and then . . . moved toward my room. Uuuugh. Noooo pleeeeeaaase!

  The guest house we lived in—which was across the lawn from my grandparents' house—was small enough that you could hear basically everything happening within it, all the time.

  I sighed as I heard the footfalls stop outside my room. I put my headset back down.

  Stolen story; please report.

  It was finally the weekend, and I was so pumped to spend the day at home, in my room, playing computer games allll freaking day. Ada probably already is. . .

  But Dad was home today. Ugh.

  His voice came through the door, muffled. “Hey, Lily, I'm headed to the store to pick something up for your sister. You wanna come?”

  I groaned silently. I didn’t really want to.

  I closed my eyes for a second, wishing I wanted to say yes, for his sake. I glanced out of my bedroom window toward my grandparents' house. The early morning sun was bright and glinted off dad’s truck into my eyes. I caught movement across the lawn and groaned silently again. Grandma was bringing over some sort of breakfast casserole, and Grandpa was watching her butt from behind and blatantly dry humping the air in a grotesque manner.

  Ew. You have to be freaking kidding me.

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to . . . but I’ll buy you one of those disgusting smoothies if you do. You should really try the pizza sometime. I’m telling you, it’s good,” Dad called through the door again.

  I sighed again, looked out the window one more time at my grandma crossing the lawn, grimaced, and called back, “Yeah, okay . . . I’m down.”

  . . .

  “Hey, asshole!” someone called from behind us.

  Oh no . . . it’s that creeper dude from earlier—wait is that . . . a gun?

  I froze. It was a gun. What the heck?!

  “Hey! What the hell?!” Dad called out as he grabbed me and shielded me with his strong form. His arms gripped my body with a force I didn’t know he was capable of. My smoothie fell to the ground and splashed over my nice new boots.

  Holy crap, holy crap! My heart was pounding, and Dad was yelling.

  “I have kids. One of them is right here. Just take the damn toilet paper and go.”

  I couldn’t think, and I started shaking uncontrollably. Am I gonna die ‘cause of toilet paper?!

  “Just put the God damn gun down, take the toilet paper, and go! You can have it!” Dad growled out in a panic.

  Part of me registered Dad swearing. It was scary to hear.

  “Relax, man. It’s not even loaded. See—?” The creeper said.

  “No! Stop. NO DON’T—!”

  Trembling, I risked a peek around my dad's torso, too afraid to not know what was happening.

  BAM!

  The creeper looked shocked.

  Another loud BAM sounded directly after the first.

  Sound roared against me, and then the world was just a high-pitched ringing.

  We blasted backward as fire and metal flowed over us. Something hard slammed into my neck. Something else hit my leg.

  My body crashed into the ground, and Dad’s heavily muscled body landed on top of my midsection, crushing me from above and pushing all the air out of me in a rush.

  Everything went still . . . and I found myself staring up at the bright blue sky.

  I couldn’t feel anything, and I didn’t move for a long moment. A cold numbness seeped into me.

  I tried to push Dad off of me and failed, too weak. His body fell back down, and his arm slapped me in the face like a dead fish. That was when the pain hit me all at once.

  I cried out in agony. There was a piercing pain in my neck. I felt at it and could feel something metal. My hand came away red. There was pain in my lower body too. My leg was pulsing and screaming at me.

  “Da—Dad. Get up—get off,” I said. But I didn’t hear anything. I could feel my throat vibrating with the words, but there was no sound.

  He didn’t move.

  No. This isn’t happening. This isn’t real.

  The noise came rushing back into my concussed ears, dull and quiet. Sirens, screams, and shouts echoed as if in the distance. I continued to weaken, my body growing colder.

  Blackness crept across my vision.

  The pressure from above was removed. Dad’s body . . . was removed.

  Someone was yelling, but I couldn’t see anymore. I couldn’t think anymore.

  . . .

  I heard sirens and horns and felt crisp sheets beneath me. My body jerked and bumped in what I assumed was an . . . ambulance? I heard beeps that for some reason echoed through my mind, distant . . . and familiar.

  . . .

  More time passed, and I thought I saw Ada’s face hovering over me. Her eyes were swollen and wet. They were pleading with me to survive. To not leave her.

  “They need to do surgery, Sis. Don’t you dare die on me.”

  I wanted so badly to respond. To tell her I wouldn’t. To ask about Dad . . . but I physically couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even think straight.

  Everything faded to black again.

  . . .

  It was dark, and it felt like I was drifting.

  A cold swept through me, and suddenly, the darkness somehow grew darker. Completely black.

  I woke up. But . . . I couldn’t feel anything. It was low-key sus.

  Am I still in shock? No. I can think clearly . . . I think. What’s going on?! Why can I think but not feel anything?!

  What’s happening?!

  I opened my eyes.

  Tutorial complete. {Replay} or {Continue}?

  What is happening?!

  Then it hit me like a bus. I couldn’t feel anything because my body was dead. I . . . was dead. What . . .?

  I took a moment to absorb that fact.

  What the heck?! I’m dead?!

  Another moment of absorbing.

  Honestly . . . it wasn’t so bad . . . outside of the fact that my sister’s eyes would haunt me forever.

  Oh no . . . Ada . . . I'm so sorry. She would be so alone.

  God . . . help her.

  I thought about Dad. His broken body . . . heavy and crushing me. I thought about him . . . not moving.

  Where are you, Dad?

  My mind revisited the scene of my death with the weird gunman creeper. Dad . . . had been yelling and soo angry. I had never seen him like that. Out of control. He was so level-headed and calm most of the time. He even said three curse words! That was almost more shocking than dying itself.

  Dad never swears.