“There’s really no need for you to worry about anything,” Lela said as she placed a hot cup of spiced apple tea in front of me. The warm scent of cinnamon and cloves was an instant comfort, much like Lela’s presence. Her eyes swept over the room as she continued, “I can’t even begin to imagine how hard everything must be for you right now, being back in this house with all the memories. And with the state that he’s left the place in... I’ll tell you what we’ll do. Why don’t I go upstairs and pack you a bag, then we’ll head back to mine? Once you’re settled in, I’ll come back here and give this place a proper clean.”

  “That’s so kind of you, Lela. But honestly, there’s no need. I’m sure that after a few days I’ll be fine.”

  “It’s no trouble at all, babe! I’ll give Ingrid a buzz and see if she can lend me a hand. I’m sure that the two of us can will this place looking shipshape in no time.” Lela said.

  Ingrid!

  The name hit me, forcing my breath to freeze in my throat and a cold, uneasy knot to clench in my chest. My thoughts snapped back to that photo pinned on Lela’s corkboard. The image of the pair enjoying themselves at that party without me flashed in front of my eyes. It looked as if they had become quite close while I was away.

  Why Ingrid? Her, Asmund’s sister, of all people! Had what Lars said been true? Had she really moved on from me that quickly? Was I not enough for her anymore?

  A soft, warm touch on my hand brought me back to the present. Lela’s face was close to mine, her brows drawn down. Fine lines crossed her forehead and spidered out from the corners of her mouth. As I stared back into those dark, round pools, I could see nothing but love and concern. “Are you OK? You zoned out on me for a moment?”

  I was being silly. Lela was my best friend, and she would always be there for me. “Sorry...? Yes, I’m fine. What were you saying?” I replied, realising that her words had slipped past me in my daze.

  “I was just saying that I’ll go and pack that bag for you now, if that’s ok?”

  I nodded and watched as she stood and walked out of the kitchen. The light shone brightly on her hair and skin. It enveloped her, surrounding her in a warm, golden aura.

  Drip, drip, drip...

  The air in my lungs froze for a second at the sound, my head snapping around as my heart suddenly pounded loudly in my chest.

  Bella looked up at me, her big brown eyes meeting mine. Her front paw gently tapping on the door of a kitchen cupboard.

  Tap, tap, tap...

  “Oh, Bella, I’m sorry. You must be starving!” I jumped to my feet and hurried over to her, realising she couldn’t have eaten since at least yesterday. Her water dish was half full, but the blue plastic bowl sitting next to it was unwashed and empty.

  “Well, at least he looked after you, girl.” With one hand I ruffled the fur behind her ears while with the other I opened the door.

  Reaching in, my hand closed around a tin of dog food. A dark shadow suddenly seemed to draw in around me, and an agonised cry tore from my chest. My palm scorched and blistered from the searing heat of the tin. As I snatched back my hand, the red label glowed a deep crimson. The bold lettering stood out like white-hot knife blades in the burning embers. Memories burst forward from the back of my mind. Horrific visions of my torment tumbled over each other. The screams rang out in my ears, the agony tortured my body.

  No! It’s not real. My eyes screwed shut. It’s not real, I told myself that repeatedly. I forced those hideous images back into the locked box of my subconscious.

  Slowly, the throbbing agony in my hand subsided. When I opened my eyes, the fiery tin no longer glowed; its red label was dull smudge within the shadows of the cupboard.

  With a shaking hand, I reached forward again. Tentatively, I took hold of the tin. It was cold and hard.

  It wasn’t real. Those things aren’t real. I repeated the thought in my mind, and slowly my breathing steadied, and the deafening pounding of my heart faded.

  Moving heavily, I tipped the meat into Bella’s bowl and refilled her water dish. Once I had done that, I made my way back over to the dining table. Sitting down, I pushed Lars’ duffle bag away from me. From underneath it, something caught my eye.

  Amidst the various computing magazines that littered the table, I saw a single newspaper. Goosebumps prickled my skin, and a knot inside myself churned as the headline caught my attention.

  My fingers were still trembling when I plucked the paper off the table.

  28th September 1990

  Missing Skier’s Body Found

  OSLO—Police have formally identified a body found yesterday as that of decorated cross-country skier and one time Olympian, Jorgen Bjornson, 45, who has been missing since May. The discovery, made by a group of teenagers in a thicket near the Holmendammen Lake, marks the first significant lead in a case that had stalled for months.

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  Mr Bjornson and his wife, Solveig Bjornson, 43, vanished shortly after returning from a trip to Italy. Their son, Lars, reported them missing after they failed to return home. Police later located their burnt-out car in the forests north of Holmenkollen but found no further evidence was found.

  “This discovery significantly widens our search radius,” a police source stated, adding that investigators are “becoming increasingly concerned” for Mrs Bjornson’s safety.

  Authorities are now seeking information about a red 1980 Ford Mustang that was seen travelling north on Holmenkollveien on the night of May 29. Police believe that the car, driven by the couple, was heading home from the airport and may have stopped or been ambushed near the Holmendammen Lake. This is contrary to earlier reports stating that the couple stopped in the Frognerseteren area.

  Preliminary pathology reports indicate the cause of death was strangulation by a ligature consistent with a length of cord. Because of the advanced state of decomposition of the body after four months, police do not expect to find further forensic evidence.

  Anyone with information about the car, the whereabouts of Mrs Bjornson, or anything else that could aid in the enquiries should contact the Oslo Police Serious Crime Department.

  I let the paper slide from my grip. Shivers wracked my frame as all the warmth seemed to drain from my body. It was true then. Both Lars and Lela had already told me that it was so, but reading that paper, seeing the confirmation there in black and white, was like an icy blade stabbing deep into my heart.

  My eyes blinked, trying to clear the tears were welling up, blurring the world into a watery haze. The air hitched in my chest, a shallow rasp escaping my lips. That was the first time that I had learnt any real details about what had actually happened. It was the first time that I’d really been able to let myself even begin to process the fact that Dad had been murdered and Mum was missing.

  There was something wrong, something about it didn’t quite add up. A persistent, niggling buzz gnawed at the back of my mind. That article seemed to stir something in my head that I couldn’t quite grasp. A thought or memory that was just out of reach.

  I just couldn’t understand any of it. Why would anyone want to hurt my parents? Dad didn’t have any enemies, quite the opposite in fact. He had always been a popular man. He couldn’t go anywhere without bumping into an old acquaintance or being recognised by someone from his skiing days.

  Slowly, I took a sip of tea.

  And there was the question about Mum. Why hadn’t they found her? If she were still alive, why hadn’t she come home?

  All these questions and more spun around relentlessly in my mind like a chaotic carousel.

  A sudden weight landed on my lap. I looked down to see Bella, her chin resting on me and her big brown eyes staring up.

  “Hey girl, what are we going to do?” I said in a small voice, my hand reaching around her neck and stroking her thick warm fur.

  A low rumble rose from Bella’s throat, a soft reply.

  “Well, that should be enough clothes to last you a few...” Lela stopped abruptly as she stepped back into the kitchen and saw my face. Her eyes flickered to the newspaper in front of me before hurrying over to where I was sitting. “Are you OK?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.

  A soft sigh escaped my lips. “Yes, I think so. It’s just reading this for the first time. It’s made it all so real.” I said, gesturing to the paper in front of me. “Did he have a funeral? Where is he buried?”

  A sympathetic smile crossed Lela’s face, her arm wrapping around my shoulder. “There hasn’t been a funeral. As far as I know, the police still haven’t released the body.”

  “Are you sure? It’s been six months since they found him.”

  “Yes,” Lela replied, “Lars mentioned it last time I saw him. He was getting quite upset at not being able to have a proper funeral.”

  I slowly nodded. There was nothing more to say. An icy numbness settled over me. I fought to push the image of Dad lying in a police morgue out of my head. And Mum? Well, I still clung to a glimmer of hope that she might still be alive, but if she was, why hadn’t she come home or been in touch?

  Lela gently stroked my shoulder. “Why don’t we go to my place? You can have Dad’s old room if you like? It’s in a bit of a clutter, with all the boxes and things he still hasn’t got around to sending back over to England, but there’s just about enough room, it’s warm and the bed’s comfy.”

  I nodded. “Thank you, Lela. I really appreciate everything that you’re doing for me.”

  Placing my hand on top of hers, I squeezed gently. How could I ever have doubted her? Even though the thought of that photo of her and Ingrid still prickled inside me.

  “You know that it’s no trouble at all. I’m sure that you’d do the same for me.” She smiled, “We’ll get you settled in and have a nice quiet afternoon.”

  Wiping away the tears, my eyes snagged, catching a glimpse of myself. A reflection in the clouded glass door of the oven. The reflection of a girl, drawn, gaunt and pale. Lars had done everything he could to break me, yet I had survived. Ultimately, he was the one who broke. I had been stronger than him then, and I wasn’t about to let him beat me now.

  I felt something ignite within me. A small flame that flickered in the darkness of my mind. “I’ve got a better idea.” I said, standing. “Why don’t we take a walk into the Sentrum? Perhaps have a sauna and then get our hair done? Maybe even get dinner and a drink or two?”

  Lela’s eyes fixed on mine, her mouth twitching with a suppressed smile. “Are you sure you’re up to it?”

  I nodded.

  A broad smile split Lela’s face. “Then let’s do it. It’s been a while since I’ve had my hair done, and yours certainly looks like it could do with some attention.” She giggled playfully as she held up a strand of my hair. It hung limp and lifeless from her fingers.

  “Just like we used to.” I giggled in reply. As I laughed, a warm bubble rose inside of me, melting away the ice that had for so long settled there.

  I’ll never know how she managed it, but she could always make light of any situation and make me laugh.

  Grinning, Lela flung the pink Adidas holdall, packed full of my clothes, over her shoulder. “Come on, then.”

  Calling Bella’s name, I followed my best friend out of the house and down the driveway to her car. Bella jumped into the back seat, and I climbed into the front.

  The car journey became a blur, my gaze was locked on to Lela. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I watched every slight movement, the delicate flutter of her eyelashes when she blinked, the tiny lines crinkling at her cheeks when she laughed. Did I really deserve such an incredible friend as her? A friend who would do just about anything for me?

  As I watched her, my insides seemed to twist, a cold weight settled deep inside my stomach, my chest becoming empty and hollow. A thought materialised in my mind, and I wrestled with it for the entire journey. I had a choice. I could finally confront my demons, those things that I had done, or I could keep on hiding and spinning my web of deceit.

  We rounded the corner onto Lela’s street, and time ran out. I had to decide.

  Lela’s love and compassion had torn my heart open wide. My lies had already caused me so much pain and suffering. I couldn’t bear the ache any longer. She didn’t deserve this. I needed to confess. I had to finally tell Lela about the photos and my night with Asmund.

  A cold shiver ran down my spine.